…by you, the teacher (or professor), or a classmate.
I was in a Learning Skills course at El Camino College. The professor was discussing a short film on the topic–problem solving–and said “if it’s decent I’ll have it to show you in a few weeks.”
I asked, “When do we get to see it if it’s indecent?”
Had one last Thursday in the Taekwondo school. We were working sticks in the weapons class and were practicing the 9 striking lines against the heavy bags. I’m telling them to put some power behind the strikes and this one [del]precocious little brat[/del] kid stops and asks, “What did this poor bag ever do to me to deserve a beating like this?”
Freshman year of high school, in the Putnam County (NY) Public Schools’ equivalent of World History: I had neglected to turn in an assignment 'cause I forgot the darn thing was due. A few others had also not done the assignment and the teacher had us write a 250-or-so word assignment explaining why not.
I couldn’t come up with more than two sentences. Fortunately, I had recently acquired a comedy book about school life and used its section on “homework not done” excuses to pad out my make-up assignment. For example: “I did the assignment but my sister used the paper to blot her lipstick.”
Mr. Mamazza read the whole thing to class. Which was highly entertained by the list of quasi-Epstein excuses.
The teacher had to step out for a couple of minutes and said “I trust I’m leaving you in competent hands.”
A classmate replied in a perfect Curly Howard voice, “Soitainly. We’re all incompetent here!”
Much laughter followed.
I was teaching a class once when a friend, Bill, who worked in the Calibration Lab poked his head in to get an quick count on how many oscilloscopes and DMMs were in the class room that he’d have to put on his list. I said hi to him and told the class “Say hello to Petty Officer Lastname from the Cal Lab”. So they all said to him, to my surprise, in unison in a sing songy tone “Good afternoon, Petty Officer Lastname.” Bill’s eyes got huge and he bolted from the room.
Later that day, after classes, an instructor from another class told me that Bill told him what happened and asked what the hell do I do to my students.
In my AP English class, we read “Nobody Knows” by Sherwood Anderson. It’s intentionally obscure about what actually happens between two characters. A group of us decided that the best answer to give was that they played backgammon. The teacher was very confused…especially when we started backing it up with passages from the book. “They sat down upon the boards…” “He was about to make his move…”
Ok…you might have had to be there for that one.
When my brother was in driver’s ed in high school, the teacher was talking about speeding, and said, “So, what if an elephant crawls out on the highway - what are you going to do?” and one of his classmates said, “Yeah, right, an elephant crawls out onto a highway in Iowa! I am so sure.”
Maybe not funny, but the look on the professor’s face was priceless, as was his sputtering response. I was in college in the early 1990s, and we had a lecture about AIDS and STDs, and the professor kept talking about the percentage of women who do or do not use condoms. I raised my hand and asked, “So, on what part of a woman’s body does she wear a condom?” Many of my classmates groaned and rolled their eyes, and the professor, a middle-aged man, didn’t seem to have an answer for that. :dubious:
When we were looking about reproduction in Biology class, a female student asked “why does semen taste salty if there’s sugar in it?”
the teacher said “that’s because the taste receptors for sweet are on the tip of your tongue, not the back of your throat”
the class busted out laughing and she ran away embarrassed