# Funny Amazon Reviews **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 1, 2010, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227 "2010-09-01T03:46:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SwimmingwithChickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@SwimmingwithChickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingwithChickens)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/1 "2010-09-01T03:46:46Z")
While wandering around on Amazon a while back I came across what appears to be an underground community of Amazon reviewers who are devoted to writing funny or absurd Amazon product reviews. I’m sure everyone knows the Three Wolf Moon and Tuscan Whole Milk reviews, but those seem to be one hit wonders. A flash of comedic brilliance that isn’t repeated… B. Govern’s Three Wolf Moon shirt: > **[Check out this Amazon review of The Mountain Men's Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve...](https://www.amazon.com/review/R2XKMDXZHQ26YX/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm)** > > Dual Function Design However, there are several reviewers who consistently post funny reviews. I’m at a loss to understand why they do this. 😕 For reference here are a few that I found: NedMuffin: [http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A2ZL5W6AP7DO7N](http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A2ZL5W6AP7DO7N) Gr33n4blu3: [http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A3VJZ9LPU4SF3Q/ref=cm\_cr\_dp\_pdp](http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A3VJZ9LPU4SF3Q/ref=cm_cr_dp_pdp) The Curmudgeon: [http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A1B9ISLYYCHIVE/ref=cm\_psrch\_profile](http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A1B9ISLYYCHIVE/ref=cm_psrch_profile) Heliacal rising: [http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A1CCT0CWK40OL9/ref=cm\_cd\_et\_pdp](http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A1CCT0CWK40OL9/ref=cm_cd_et_pdp) Now, I get a kick out of reading these sorts of things, but why would anyone post 100 or more fake/funny reviews? Who are these people? Are they paid? ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/2 "2010-09-01T04:09:52Z")
> [@SwimmingwithChickens](#): > > Now, I get a kick out of reading these sorts of things, but why would anyone post 100 or more fake/funny reviews? To leave a lasting legacy that has positive meaningful impact on people’s lives? > [@SwimmingwithChickens](#): > > Who are these people? They are teh win! > [@SwimmingwithChickens](#): > > Are they paid? Not with money. I read a bunch of reviews by following links from your OP. Some of those are hilarious, some are kind of bland, and a few are bland and then whack you with a Python-esque turn of phrase or something. Kudos, and I hope those folks enjoy their hobby for years to come! ---
**Author:** ![Pitchmeister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pitchmeister/32/3459_2.png) [@Pitchmeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pitchmeister)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/3 "2010-09-01T08:29:01Z")
This [5 ft Denon Ethernet cable](http://www.amazon.com/Denon-AKDL1-Dedicated-Link-Cable/product-reviews/B000I1X6PM/ref=cm_cr_pr_helpful?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0) used to sell for 500$ new, but now it’s apparently a collector’s item and goes for 5 times the price. The reviews are all pretty much priceless, as is the very idea of selling a digital ethernet cable for 500$. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/4 "2010-09-01T12:33:05Z")
I enjoyed this [review](http://www.amazon.com/review/R18YBK1PR9A9WG/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm)of my pepper mill. I don’t think he goes out of his way to write silly reviews, but rather wrote an astute review in an amusing way. ---
**Author:** ![Baracus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@Baracus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baracus)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/5 "2010-09-01T12:40:34Z")
Apparently it has been removed from the site but I found [this](http://www.inquisitr.com/14999/best-amazon-review-ever-the-secret-of-the-secret-is-a-shiv/) review of “The Secret” to be hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/6 "2010-09-01T12:45:26Z")
I’m having trouble finding the one for the Harry Potter vibrating broomstick. I wonder if they finally took it down. There was also one selling an elk carcass that was hysterical, and is now also gone. Bummer. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/7 "2010-09-01T12:57:43Z")
I found some references to the Harry Potter broom reviews in this unintentionally funny article at[Ladies Against Women](http://www.cultureandfamily.org/articledisplay.asp?id=753&department=CFI&categoryid=cfreport). I was sad when the writer finally twigged to the satire in the final quote she gives, but she still seems to take another clearly silly review at face value. ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/8 "2010-09-01T13:01:43Z")
I like this [one,](http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R1EIPYEBXRLAGD/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt/278-0169951-6305148#R1EIPYEBXRLAGD) partly because the recipient is a boringly earnest faux-marxist who thinks incomprehensibility is a hallmark of intellectualism ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingwithChickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@SwimmingwithChickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingwithChickens)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/9 "2010-09-01T14:04:50Z")
> [@Baracus](#): > > Apparently it has been removed from the site but I found [this](http://www.inquisitr.com/14999/best-amazon-review-ever-the-secret-of-the-secret-is-a-shiv/) review of “The Secret” to be hilarious. That is a good one! Favorite section: "My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes. Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I’ve never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15." If the purpose of Amazon’s review system is to provide a critique of the products available for sale, why do they permit these parody reviews? Not that I’m complaining at all, but it strikes me as odd that they allow them. For the record, I find them very entertaining and would be disappointed if Amazon removed them. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/10 "2010-09-01T14:14:25Z")
> [@Pitchmeister](#): > > This [5 ft Denon Ethernet cable](http://www.amazon.com/Denon-AKDL1-Dedicated-Link-Cable/product-reviews/B000I1X6PM/ref=cm_cr_pr_helpful?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0) used to sell for 500$ new, but now it’s apparently a collector’s item and goes for 5 times the price. > > The reviews are all pretty much priceless, as is the very idea of selling a digital ethernet cable for 500$. Besides the reviews, the best part was this: > [@](#): > > 1 used from **$2,500.00** 1 refurbished from **$999.99** > > What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item? > > 36% buy AmazonBasics Toslink Digital Audio Optical Cable (6 Feet/1.8 Meters) **$7.49** > 19% buy HDMI Cable 2M (6 Feet) **$2.21** > 13% buy AmazonBasics High-Speed HDMI Cable (6.5 Feet/2.0 Meters) [Supports 3D + Audio Return Channel] **$6.99** ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/11 "2010-09-01T17:40:01Z")
There are a lot of good reviews for a gallon of Tuscan Whole Milk (though I haven’t read all 1,210), but this is a [masterpiece.](http://www.amazon.com/review/RXXPVOUH9NLL3/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#RXXPVOUH9NLL3) ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingwithChickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@SwimmingwithChickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingwithChickens)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2010, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/12 "2010-09-01T23:13:36Z")
> [@h.sapiens](#): > > There are a lot of good reviews for a gallon of Tuscan Whole Milk (though I haven’t read all 1,210), but this is a [masterpiece.](http://www.amazon.com/review/RXXPVOUH9NLL3/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#RXXPVOUH9NLL3) Wow. That guy’s got some talent. It’s too bad he’s only written one review. I liked these two (by the same reviewer): On Sliding into Home (Kendra Wilkinson’s book) [http://www.amazon.com/review/R390WCS7C91XGH/ref=cm\_cr\_rdp\_perm](http://www.amazon.com/review/R390WCS7C91XGH/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm) and A wheelchair/bathroom thing [http://www.amazon.com/review/R25S6FVQUAX70T/ref=cm\_cr\_rdp\_perm](http://www.amazon.com/review/R25S6FVQUAX70T/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm) ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/13 "2010-09-02T00:07:59Z")
The [wtf tag](http://www.amazon.com/tag/wtf/products/ref=tag_tdp_ptcn_istp) is a freaking gold mine. My fave is the [JL 421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank](http://www.amazon.com/JL421-Badonkadonk-Land-Cruiser-Tank/dp/B00067F1CE/ref=tag_stp_st_edpp_url), especially [this review](http://www.amazon.com/review/R1011XPGY5U352/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm). ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/14 "2010-09-02T13:00:00Z")
Check out the reviews for [Male Testicular Exam Model Anatomy](http://www.amazon.com/Male-Testicular-Exam-Model-Anatomy/dp/B0006TYJV6/ref=cm_cr_pr_sims_t)(as opposed to Female Testicular Exam Model?) ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/15 "2010-09-02T13:04:21Z")
[**Uranium Ore**](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000796XXM) reviews. One of my favourites: > [@](#): > > **Great Product, Poor Packaging** > I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/16 "2010-09-02T18:04:40Z")
From a link off jjimm’s link: [WTF](http://www.amazon.com/Parent-Child-Testing-Product-Pack/dp/B002A6HXL6/ref=pd_sbs_indust_2)? I actually ran over to the SCP chatroom to suggest someone write an entry about this . . . whatever it is. (Look at the alternate views But only if you’re not alone at night!) ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/17 "2013-02-27T04:14:11Z")
I had no idea. I am in awe. I may leave hear forever and just read Amazon from now on; it is that good. Some of those reviews had me laughing more than I’d laughed in a long, long time, ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/18 "2013-02-27T18:20:24Z")
> [@Pitchmeister](#): > > This [5 ft Denon Ethernet cable](http://www.amazon.com/Denon-AKDL1-Dedicated-Link-Cable/product-reviews/B000I1X6PM/ref=cm_cr_pr_helpful?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0) used to sell for 500$ new, but now it’s apparently a collector’s item and goes for 5 times the price. > > The reviews are all pretty much priceless, as is the very idea of selling a digital ethernet cable for 500$. The prices keep going up–now at $10K! But you can get a refurb for just $1K. I think these cables would, if you could keep yourself from experimenting with their reality-altering characteristics and keep them in the packaging, be an excellent investment opportunity! ---
**Author:** ![Pitchmeister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pitchmeister/32/3459_2.png) [@Pitchmeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pitchmeister)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/19 "2013-02-27T19:28:59Z")
> [@LawMonkey](#): > > The prices keep going up–now at $10K! But you can get a refurb for just $1K. I think these cables would, if you could keep yourself from experimenting with their reality-altering characteristics and keep them in the packaging, be an excellent investment opportunity! But it’s blue! So it can’t be that sought-after… ---
**Author:** ![EverwonderWhy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EverwonderWhy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EverwonderWhy)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227/20 "2013-02-27T21:38:52Z")
This might be TMI, but after commiserating with a girlfriend about some issues one may face whilst overcoming the DivaCup learning curve, I was pointed to this hilarious[Amazon Review](http://www.amazon.com/review/R39TB4HUVK8Z6) which had me crying with laughter. There’s also the [Avery Durable Binder](http://www.amazon.com/Avery-Durable-Binder-EZ-Turn-17032/product-reviews/B001B0CTMU/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1) reviews that exploded during the whole Romney ‘Binders Full of Women’ gaffe that I found pretty entertaining. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-amazon-reviews/552227.md?page=2)