# Funny bathroom signs/ graffiti **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 25, 2000, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bathroom-signs-graffiti/15142 "2000-03-25T03:42:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bathroom-signs-graffiti/15142/1 "2000-03-25T03:42:00Z")
From Tinycow: “We aim to please. You aim, too, please.” “Gentlemen, please stand close to the stage, it’s not as long as you think. Ladies, please remain seated for the entire performance.” In big, scrawling, letters: **I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!** In neat handwriting beneath it: Go home, Dad, you’re drunk. * * * I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail. ---
**Author:** ![Jo3sh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a587f6/32.png) [@Jo3sh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jo3sh)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bathroom-signs-graffiti/15142/2 "2000-03-25T03:49:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Surgoshan: > \*\*From Tinycow: “We aim to please. You aim, too, please.” > \*\* In a similar vein… “Stand close… That’s not a Winchester you’re holding.” * * * A committee is a lifeform with six or more legs and no brain. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bathroom-signs-graffiti/15142/3 "2000-03-25T03:49:00Z")
**In big, scrawling, letters: I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER! In neat handwriting beneath it: Go home, Dad, you’re drunk.** **Surgoshan** – My absolute favorite! I wrote this on the wall of the men’s room of my favorite bar (when I still drank). Un-toppable, at least in its own category of graffiti. ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bathroom-signs-graffiti/15142/4 "2000-03-25T04:22:00Z")
From a men’s room at my old college, found amidst all the messages supposedly from gay guys looking for action: 19/m looking for some _pussy_. Any of you queers got sisters? * * * TMR You will buy the ukulele, and touch every place. ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bathroom-signs-graffiti/15142/5 "2000-03-25T04:28:00Z")
Found written on condom machine in base exchange, McGuire AFB, NJ. “This chewing gum tastes funny” * * * _…send lawyers, guns, and money…_ ``` Warren Zevon ``` ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bathroom-signs-graffiti/15142/6 "2000-03-25T09:19:00Z")
[http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/003232.html](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/003232.html) ---
**Author:** ![Popillia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Popillia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Popillia)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2000, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bathroom-signs-graffiti/15142/7 "2000-03-26T08:21:00Z")
“You shit-house poets are sons-of-bitches, While I stand here and read I shit in my britches.” Not sure where I saw this one. * * * In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. ---
**Author:** ![SingleDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SingleDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SingleDad)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2000, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bathroom-signs-graffiti/15142/8 "2000-03-26T08:38:00Z")
“Trust Jesus… but keep your camel tied” * * * If Cecil Adams did not exist, we would be obliged to create Him. ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Berry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@Carl\_Berry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Berry)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2000, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bathroom-signs-graffiti/15142/9 "2000-03-26T14:11:00Z")
AuntiePam: What were you doing in the men’s room? No wonder you quit drinking! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2000, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bathroom-signs-graffiti/15142/10 "2000-03-26T15:15:00Z")
On an “official” placard posted above the urinals in the Deck Department head aboard the _USS Yosemite_: **"Bosuns and snipes: Please don’t eat the tasty mints."** * * * Voted **Best Sport** And narrowly averted the despised moniker **Smiley Master** Forward deployed until 18AUG00