# Funny Billboards **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 14, 1999, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611 "1999-07-14T20:33:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/1 "1999-07-14T20:33:00Z")
Driving home to LA from San Diego up the 5 yesterday afternoon I saw an amusing billboard: Keep taking my name in vain. I’ll make rushhour longer. -God I laughed out loud! So share 'em! This is the place. ## -Melin ``` Phenomenal woman Bitch Corporate Lawyer That's me ``` ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/2 "1999-07-14T20:45:00Z")
Melin, they’ve got all those around here too! here’s a few I remember: That “love thy neighorbor” thing? I meant that - God Tell the kids I love 'em - God What part of “Thou Shalt Not” didn’t you understand - God Don’t make me come down there! - God Quite a few more also. I wonder who’s doing these. There’s never any advertising on them, no denominational affiliation or anything. * * * …it has never been my way to bother much about things which you can’t cure. - A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court-Mark Twain ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/3 "1999-07-14T21:36:00Z")
I saw some sort of a news type story on these billboards. I cannot remember who it is doing it, but they collect money from different people to put these messages all over the country. Obviously God does not have much of a PR department, so I guess they are acting as one. Personally, I think that sometimes it is good for us to be reminded that God is watching. Jeffery ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/4 "1999-07-14T21:43:00Z")
Those of you who make the trek down I-95, along the eastern seaboard, have no doubt encountered the billboards leading up to “South of the Border” (Mexican theme park/tourist trap, & totally tacky!), at the NC/SC border. “You never sausage a place!” (featuring a giant 3-d hotdog), and others with similar artwork, including animated sheep and a junk car, all in day-glo colors on a black background. If anybody remembers any of their slogans, put 'em here. Gary * * * “Basses do it lower” Homepage: [http://members.aol.com/Toymkr47/Index.htm](http://members.aol.com/Toymkr47/Index.htm) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/5 "1999-07-14T21:43:00Z")
Someone sent me this… These billboards are all over Fl orida, Let’s meet at my house Sunday before the game. -God C’mon over and bring the kids. -God What part of “Thou Shalt Not…” didn’t you understand? -God We need to talk. -God Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage. -God I love you and you and you and you and… -God Big bang theory, you’ve got to be kidding. -God My way is the highway. -God Need directions? -God You think it’s hot here? -God Have you read my #1 best seller? There will be a test. -God Do you have any idea where you’re going? -God * * * You can only be a victim once. After that you’re just a volunteer. Naomi Judd ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 1999, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/6 "1999-07-14T23:50:00Z")
Two come immediately to mind… Two Marlboro-men, in a Marlboro-man setting, and in Marlboro-type, “Bob, I’ve got emphysema.” Bright yellow background, black Helvetica type: CALVIN COOLIDGE WAS THE 30TH PRESIDENT [www.calvincoolidge.com](http://www.calvincoolidge.com) Shame that it was just a marketing test… check it out. And as for those “God” billboards… let God speak for himself. (and listen to the silence) * * * “If A=B, B=C, and C=D, do not get a job proofreading” --Quid’s Theorem ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 1999, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/7 "1999-07-15T03:37:00Z")
Signs along the roadway. Pardon me for some quiet nostalgia: He lit a match To check his tank That’s why they call him Skinless Frank _Burma Shave_ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 1999, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/8 "1999-07-15T03:49:00Z")
\ I was wondering how long it would take before we got a “Burma Shave” post. -Melin ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 1999, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/9 "1999-07-15T04:14:00Z")
Around the corner Lickety-split Beautiful car Wasn’t it? _Burma Shave_ – Sylence * * * “A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, ‘Wish you were here’.” - Steven Wright ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 1999, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/10 "1999-07-15T14:39:00Z")
Empty beer cans On the road Are ugly, many say; But at night Reflecting bright They safely guide the way! BURMA SHAVE Okay, okay, it wasn’t really Burma Shave, it was a Mad magazine parody of Burma Shave from sometime in the early sixties. But it always stuck in my head even more than the real ones. ---
**Author:** ![AETBOND417](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@AETBOND417](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AETBOND417)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/11 "2000-08-26T21:22:46Z")
North Florida, just below the border with Georgia. The billboard reads: “Ugly Beach Towels - $5” What a slogan. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2000, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/12 "2000-08-27T03:37:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Toymaker \* > \*\*Those of you who make the trek down I-95, along the eastern seaboard, have no doubt encountered the billboards leading up to “South of the Border” (Mexican theme park/tourist trap, & totally tacky!), at the NC/SC border. > \*\* Ah yes, the South of the Border signs. _You’re always a weiner with Pedro_(picture of giant hot dog) (upside down SOTB sign)_sign designed in Washington_ _Keep whining kids, they’ll stop_ There is like one sign every mile thru North & South Carolina along I-95 ---
**Author:** ![cblackhand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecc23a/32.png) [@cblackhand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cblackhand)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/13 "2000-08-27T17:23:49Z")
I think that I shall never see A billboard as lovely as a tree. Perhaps unless the billboards fall, I’ll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash ---
**Author:** ![Kaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaz)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2000, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/14 "2000-08-27T17:30:15Z")
The Wolf was shaved So neat and trim, Red Riding Hood Was chasing him. _Burma Shave_ ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2000, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/15 "2000-08-27T17:32:08Z")
Wow, dredged up from the very bottom of MPSIMS. I’m surprised that Melin’s name wouldn’t have gathered more views from curiosity alone. ---
**Author:** ![beakerxf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2000, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/16 "2000-08-27T21:57:19Z")
I grew up in a small town called Winnemucca and they started a billboard campaign. Winnemucca: 5 billion people haven’t been here The rest were too visual to share here. ---
**Author:** ![DeathLlama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DeathLlama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeathLlama)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2000, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-billboards/6611/17 "2000-08-27T22:39:21Z")
Ruffian and I were in southern Ohio in July and saw this sign at a cemetary between South Point and Coal Grove (not that any of you would know where that is)… Don’t drink and drive. We can wait.