# Funny Bumper Stickers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 2, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015 "2005-05-02T03:35:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ur8it](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecd19e/32.png) [@ur8it](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ur8it)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/1 "2005-05-02T03:35:53Z")
this one’s pretty commonplace in TX: “SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/2 "2005-05-02T05:31:42Z")
I saw a red one that said, “If this sticker is blue, you’re driving too fast!” If you don’t get it, google “blue shift” ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/3 "2005-05-02T05:35:15Z")
I saw one the other day that said “You’re driving a car, not a phone booth. Hang up and drive” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/4 "2005-05-02T05:46:18Z")
“REAL American’s obey the law. Drive the speed limit” ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/5 "2005-05-02T12:42:28Z")
> [@ur8it](#): > > this one’s pretty commonplace in TX: > > “SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY!” 😃 It’s also a pretty irritating song, if you’re interested. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Goob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c77e96/32.png) [@Mr.Goob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Goob)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/6 "2005-05-02T13:56:48Z")
My alltime favorite; HUMPTY DUMPTY WAS PUSHED ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/7 "2005-05-02T14:00:45Z")
I’ve seen this one a few times on Jeep Wranglers (stuck on upside-down of course) **If you can read this, please flip me over** ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/8 "2005-05-02T14:40:49Z")
Okay, it’s kind of stupid, but it always makes me giggle: _Visualize Whirled Peas_ Yes, I’m easily amused. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/9 "2005-05-02T14:42:48Z")
Some folks like mine: I’m an asshole. _And I vote!_ ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/10 "2005-05-02T21:24:24Z")
Frodo has failed, Bush has The Ring! ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/11 "2005-05-02T21:32:30Z")
_How Would Jesus Drive?_ ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/12 "2005-05-02T22:57:38Z")
These are on my car right now. Disclaimer: my car is a beater, and desperately needs decoration. Without our families Alcohol wouldn’t be necesary A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste SMILE… It’s the second-best thing you can do with your lips If it’s too loud You’re too old And a couple more I can’t remember now. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/13 "2005-05-02T23:32:39Z")
A friend of mine has _Mean people suck. Nice people swallow._ on his truck. I kind of want _I see we’ve been visited by the screw-up fairy again._ I think that’s the exact phrase. If I ever get a fargin’ license and vehicle. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/14 "2005-05-03T01:55:24Z")
I’ve always wanted to print one up in response: If it’s too loud You have too much hearing left > [@Anaamika](#): > > If it’s too loud > You’re too old ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/15 "2005-05-03T03:04:43Z")
One I saw today, a bit funny in its naked gibbering aggression: “I’d smack you one, but shit splatters”. On a beater pickup, surprise surprise. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/16 "2005-05-03T03:08:58Z")
I like “Reunite Gondwannaland”. The best I ever saw was in a mall parking lot. Somebody had one of those “Shit Happens” bumper stickers and they put it on upside-down. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/17 "2005-05-03T03:15:46Z")
I want one that looks like “I \ my dog” but with a spade symbol instead. I’ve heard of it but haven’t seen it anywhere. I do have a “Darwin Loves You”. ---
**Author:** ![gfloyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d2c977/32.png) [@gfloyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gfloyd)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/18 "2005-05-03T04:29:37Z")
I saw a great one today: If you can’t figure out how to operate a turn signal, why should I think you can operate any other part of a car. I want one that says: I’m driving a stick shift, stay off my ass if you like your car. Also, one that fit my old car quite well: Sorry my car is a piece of shit. My Parents didn’t buy for me. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/19 "2005-05-03T05:41:56Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > I want one that looks like “I \ my dog” but with a spade symbol instead. I’ve heard of it but haven’t seen it anywhere. Heh. Put me in mind of one I saw that said, “I [club symbol] baby seals.” Heh, heh. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/20 "2005-05-03T12:57:19Z")
> [@F. U. Shakespeare](#): > > I’ve always wanted to print one up in response: > > If it’s too loud > You have too much hearing left You can get them custom-made, you know! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015.md?page=2)