# Funny Bumper Stickers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 2, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015 "2005-05-02T03:35:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![WavyRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ea666f/32.png) [@WavyRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WavyRabbit)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/21 "2005-05-03T15:31:35Z")
This one made me laugh: Jesus Loves You Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/22 "2005-05-03T16:30:08Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > I want one that looks like “I \ my dog” but with a spade symbol instead. I’ve heard of it but haven’t seen it anywhere. I think the comedian Gallagher came up with that one. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/23 "2005-05-03T16:51:34Z")
There also were ads in the back of the National Lampoon for opaque ‘club’, ‘screw’ and ‘spade’ stickers of various sizes. They were designed to be placed over _other_ peoples’ bumper stickers, resulting in stickers that read, “I (club) my wife”, “I (screw) my dog”, I (spade) my dog", etc. > [@Diceman](#): > > I think the comedian Gallagher came up with that one. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/24 "2005-05-03T17:12:27Z")
I like _Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup._ I don’t know why, but it makes me giggle. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/25 "2005-05-03T17:22:40Z")
Don’t make me send out the flying monkeys. I saw a white station wagon once that had, painted across the back in black lettering: **If you ride my tail** [license plate]\*\* I will slow down.\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/26 "2005-05-03T17:26:19Z")
I used to have “Urban Assault Vehicle” on my 1974 orange-and-white Mercury Comet. Well, it was an assault on good taste, anyway. Also had “I’m mad at you since you ate my dog!” Surreal humor, considering I didn’t even have a dog. ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/27 "2005-05-03T17:26:32Z")
When I lived in Santa Cruz I was always partial to the “Jerry’s dead, Phish sucks, Get a Job” sticker. But my alltime favorite was on the back of a dilapidated old VW van: “I beat up three hippies and all I got was this crummy bus.” ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/28 "2005-05-03T17:46:46Z")
**"Sorry, my karma ran over your dogma"** ---
**Author:** ![Electrical\_Storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac8455/32.png) [@Electrical\_Storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electrical_Storm)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/29 "2005-05-03T21:22:29Z")
I’m an avid reader of bumper stickers. 😉 The morning commute is so boring I have to do _something_. Here are a few I recall seeing: “I Brake For No Apparent Reason” I’ve also seen the “Visualize Whirled Peas” one. “I’m not losing hair, I’m getting head.” “Clean up politics - elect women!” “Beer: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.” “Dyslexia is fnu” “Going crazy - wanna come?” I laughed out loud at this one. It was on a huge Suburban. “Daddy farted, and we can’t get out!” I know, I know. :rolleyes: “Somewhere in Texas there’s a village missing an idiot.” I love that one. ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/30 "2005-05-03T21:28:17Z")
Not a bumper sticker, but a license plate holder: If you touch my Saturn I’ll kick Uranus ---
**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015/31 "2005-05-03T21:38:19Z")
My favorite: “Jesus was my co-pilot, but then I crashed into the mountains and was forced to eat him.” Also, the “I \<3 Manatees. They taste like chicken.” and other variations are pretty popular in the Florida area. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-bumper-stickers/302015.md?page=1)