# Funny conversation I just had with my ex-girlfriend. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 20, 2011, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365 "2011-01-20T19:31:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/1 "2011-01-20T19:31:42Z")
_ding-dong_ her: Hey, come on in. me: Hey, I brought you those forms from the college . her: Thanks. Hey, can you help me find that thing. me: What thing? her: You know, the _thing_. The thing that I use for my stuff. me: What stuff? her: The stuff I use. Help me find the thing. me: Um… O.K. {{{_monkey proceeds to look in random places around the apartment_}}} Is this it? her: That’s my mp3 player. I need the thing. The thing for the stuff. me: Is this it? her: That’s a can opener. The thing’s not going to be in the kitchen. me: O.K. Is this it? her: Put the dog down. dog: Arf! It went on that way for a few minutes till she found the thing, which turned out to be a paper clip I had bent for her so she could jigger open the box she keeps her art supply stuff in. But I’m home now, and I realized I’ve also lost a thing. It’s a different thing, but I can’t find it. I need that thing. Not the paper clip, the other thing. So I’m asking the dopers: Where did I put that thing I need? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/2 "2011-01-20T19:34:25Z")
Try looking in the room. (which room? I dunno) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/3 "2011-01-20T19:34:50Z")
Next to the whatzit. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/4 "2011-01-20T19:36:58Z")
Under the whaddya call it. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/5 "2011-01-20T19:40:55Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Next to the whatzit. I don’t have the whatzit anymore, remember? I gave it to that guy. The guy from the place. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/6 "2011-01-20T19:41:04Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Under the whaddya call it. No, the OTHER whaddya call it. Not the green one. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/7 "2011-01-20T19:42:12Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > I don’t have the whatzit anymore, remember? I gave it to that guy. The guy from the place. The place on that street? Or the place on the other street? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/8 "2011-01-20T19:44:38Z")
You threw it out with the thingamajig back whenever it was. Or the dog has it. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/9 "2011-01-20T19:46:33Z")
It’s over on that table next to the doohickey. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/10 "2011-01-20T19:48:29Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > _ding-dong_ > Where did I put that thing I need? [This dude](http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/2011/01/custom_1294433889242_thing-addams-family-5704649-465-473.jpg) nabbed it. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/11 "2011-01-20T20:00:59Z")
Maybe she’s my long lost sister? Actual conversation I had last night: Dad: Hey, remember the guy at my gym who knows you? Me: No Dad: He went to high school with you… Me: No Dad: He says he didn’t really know you, but he knew (lists some of my old buddies) Me: OK Dad: So do you know him? Me: No Dad: He has blonde hair Me: (laughing) Could you be a little more vague? Dad: What do you mean? Me: I need more information. Dad: I figured you might know him because of his blonde hair. Me: There was probably hundreds of people with blonde hair at my HS. Dad: Ok, now you’re being ridiculous, you’re saying you know hundreds of people with blonde hair. Me: Maybe, I haven’t really counted them. Dad: Anyway, I don’t know why you’re being so difficult, I was just seeing if you knew him BTW his name is \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. Me: Oh… yeah I know him. Dad: See… I told you you knew him. Me: ??? ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/12 "2011-01-20T20:31:32Z")
[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun;13376960Where did I put that thing I need?[/QUOTE] It’s behind your ear. ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/13 "2011-01-20T20:34:25Z")
You always find stuff in the last place you look, so go to the place that you’d look last and start there. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/14 "2011-01-20T20:37:26Z")
Once again, Yahoo has the answer: [Where is that thing I misplaced, and forgot what it was?](http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100410005125AAs7toe) ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/15 "2011-01-20T20:39:06Z")
You loaned the thing to that guy. You know, the guy with the face? The one that lives near the chick that dresses funny? ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/16 "2011-01-20T20:41:58Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > once again, yahoo has the answer: [where is that thing i misplaced, and forgot what it was?](http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100410005125aas7toe) i HATE GOLFBALLS DAMNIT!!! I HATE THEM! THEY KEEP ENDING UP IN MY MOUTH!!! ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/17 "2011-01-20T20:45:02Z")
Ummm, **A Monkey With a Gun** , I hate to break this to you, but from your OP, I’m convinced I married your ex-GF ten years ago. The thing’s probably here. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/18 "2011-01-20T20:46:40Z")
The “Arf!” part especially made me laugh. But my SO, who DMs, used to do this in D&D until I scolded him out of it. “You’re walking down the street and see someone familiar.” No lie - he’s a great DM otherwise, but this drove me batty! I am supposed to infer from that much who he is??? ---
**Author:** ![Cell\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Cell\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cell_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/19 "2011-01-20T20:49:33Z")
You know that thing you asked me to do? Yea, with the guy. No, not that guy, the other guy. Yea, that thing with the guy with the thing at the place. It’s done. And he had that thing you were looking for. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365/20 "2011-01-20T20:50:03Z")
See, that just proves that you did the right thing breaking up with her. If you were meant to be, you’d have known immediately what she wanted to find. Have you tried in the door of the car? That little pocket in the door is always swiping my stuff. . . [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-conversation-i-just-had-with-my-ex-girlfriend/568365.md?page=2)