# Funny craigslist personals

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-craigslist-personals/672623>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [October 30, 2013, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-craigslist-personals/672623 "2013-10-30T03:25:06Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\
**Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-craigslist-personals/672623/1 "2013-10-30T03:25:06Z")

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I like to check out craigslist personals from time to time to see if there’s anything funny posted there.

Here’s a couple recent missed connections in my area.

> [@](#):
>
> To the beautiful blond I was chatting with at the Doubletree, I want to reach out to you and apologize for what happened.  
> I had eaten some bad Mexican food for lunch yesterday, and by 6pm when we were talking, I just started to sweat and realize something was not right. My stomach kept growling like crazy and you asked me if I was hungry, I replied with some nonsense about grabbing some dinner with you, when all of a sudden I farted and completely shit my pants. You stared at me blankly not knowing what to say or do I am sure. I quickly ran to my room and jumped in the shower, where I shit myself yet again.  
> I also apologized to the cleaning staff, as I had to leave my shitty underwear in a plastic bag in the trash as I couldnt face trying to wash them.  
> I hope your business meeting went well today and you arent scarred by this. I had to cancel my business meeting for today even though I feel better, as I didnt want to shit my pants again while visiting head office.  
> If you can get the thought of shitty pants out of your mind and can understand that I dont always shit my pants in public, then contact me.  
> Put where we were as I exploded so I know it is you
> 
> Ps. I bet no one can top this horrible moment.

> [@](#):
>
> Looking for someone with the initals of JLM. About 5’ 11, light blue eyes. Tattoos on face. Lots of other tattoos. About 28-29 maybe 30 years old. If your initals are JLM please contact me. Tell me your name and include a pic so I know its you. I miss you so much. And no I’m not mad at you. I think about you all the time. I drive through the apts you used to live in to see if I see you outside ☹ I think about going by your mamaws but…
> 
> I seen where you were locked up for awhile, I was gonna write you but…
> 
> I think you’re out now. I miss you terribly!
> 
> I didn’t want you to leave me ☹  
> Please come home to me ☹

Anything funny in your area?