# Funny Fake Posts

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-fake-posts/12045>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 8, 1999, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-fake-posts/12045 "1999-12-08T23:25:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 1999, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-fake-posts/12045/81 "1999-12-16T14:36:00Z")

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Guys,

I need your advice. My relationship is going through some tough times. My g/f keeps complaining that I spend too much attention and money on her, that I’m too romantic, I buy her too many gifts, et cetera. She wants to go easy on the attention bit and focus on wild, steamy, monkey sex.  
I’m so hurt by this I could cry. Is there no room in this harsh world for a sensitive guy like me ? I mean, I like cuddling and holding hands, but sex, JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT ??? The mere thought makes me gag.

I’m going to make some Earl Grey now, I hope to find some responses when I get back…

Sobbingly yours,

## Clod Rifle

Coldfire

* * *

“You know how complex women are”

- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

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