# Funny, I don't \*feel\* like a vegetarian... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2009, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837 "2009-07-13T05:25:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/41 "2009-07-13T22:36:58Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I occasionally pantomime eating and/or biting the phones of family members and friends, but while the phones are inserted into my gaping maw, they don’t actually touch any part of the inside of it, nor are they swallowed. > > They make women’s shirts with breast pockets? they do when you get mens polo shirts =) i also not only do not carry a purse, or wear my wedding ring [which i actually havent worn since the ceremony, nor do i actually know where it is] I carry a small sterling silver business card case that holds 1 military ID, 1 drivers license, 1 BJs club card and 1 debit card [and 1 folded blank check and occasionally a couple of $20 bills], usually in the breast pocket of my polo, and mmy cell phone [moto 9m] in one pants pocket, and my car key fob in the other. I have one of the cute little nitro pill thigies on my key fob, and a house key. ---
**Author:** ![Bacon\_Salt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/65b543/32.png) [@Bacon\_Salt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bacon_Salt)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/42 "2009-07-13T23:30:13Z")
> [@wunderkammer](#): > > And on a not entirely unrelated tangent, I thought of another question I get a lot when I’m shopping in all my boring glory, not wearing chinos, a polo shirt, or an apron: > > “Do you work here?” Huh. To continue the tangent, when I worked in a clothing store, I would get the same question when off the clock and shopping at said store. So then I’d be all :eek:_How does she know? Should I say yes but not at the moment? Should I say no and hope she doesn’t ever come back when I’m working?_ ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/43 "2009-07-13T23:34:46Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > TofuMate > > I have 2 packettes, they are Breakfast Scramble; onions rice flour, salt, maltodextrin, garlic powder, red peppers, autolyzed yeast extract, soybean oil, spices, tumeric, soy sauce, citric acid, tsp, malic acid, cocoa, molassas powder, paprika > > the other is eggless salad: maltodextrin, rice flour, salt, onion powder, spices, garlic powder, carrots, fructose, soybean oil, tumeric, citric acid, celery, malic acid, lemon oil - you need to add your own mayo/faux mayo Num, thank you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/44 "2009-07-14T02:37:35Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Num, thank you. 🙂 glad to help. i would be willing to bet that one could have a go at making a home version of this without the preservatives … the tumeric is to make the eggy yellow color =) ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/45 "2009-07-14T15:06:53Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I’ve been mistaken for Jewish on several occasions. Ooh, yes, I get that one, too. Usually because of my (lovely but prominent) nose. > [@aruvqan](#): > > and 1 folded blank check Wait, “blank check” as in “not filled out at all,” or “blank check” as in “signed, but with recipient and amount left blank”? … If the latter, could you please provide me with a diagram of any walking routes you take, preferably late at night, with convenient lurking points marked out? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/46 "2009-07-14T15:54:45Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Huh. None of the dress shirts I have have pockets. Of course, they’re also mostly those “feminine” dress shirts (where the buttons don’t go all the way to the collar, presumably so that when all else fails you can flash some cleavage to get what you want). In an dubious attempt to dress like a girl, I asked a female friend to go shopping with me last night. After I complained the button were on the wrong side, she patiently explained that women’s shirts were supposed to have buttons on that side. Please ignore any supposed data points I may have made in previous posts. Evidently I’ve been wearing men’s shirts, not just mannish shirts. I have even less fashion sense than I thought. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/47 "2009-07-14T16:07:29Z")
When I was in grad school, people thought my best friend and I were lesbians. We were very close, but neither of us were even bi. I thought that people were joking at first, but then one of our mutual friends asked me very seriously if we were dating. (Apparently he had a huge crush on her.) And that summer we all went to stay at a friend’s cabin, and her parents also assumed we were dating. We’ve never even drunkenly made out. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/48 "2009-07-14T16:27:01Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > After I complained the button were on the wrong side, she patiently explained that women’s shirts were supposed to have buttons on that side. Yup, women’s buttons are a mirror image of men’s because we used to have maids to dress us. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/49 "2009-07-14T16:52:04Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > When I was in grad school, people thought my best friend and I were lesbians. We were very close, but neither of us were even bi. I thought that people were joking at first, but then one of our mutual friends asked me very seriously if we were dating. That’s happened to me and a good buddy of mine. We were climbing partners and we were going to a climbing gym _daily_ to get ready for a big climbing trip. My sister IS gay, and I guess someone assumed I was too. It really didn’t help that my climbing buddy would refer to me as his “partner”, meaning “climbing partner” (you climb in pairs: climber + belay). We think that’s where the confusion ultimately started. Although the weirdest ever was that someone once thought I was my sister’s girfriend. Say it with me now: EEEEEEWWWWWW! Granted the woman was drunk and it was dark, so I suppose I could look like a butchy lesbian. And that’s fine, but my sister and I look _a lot_ alike. The family resemblance is quite remarkable and we’re just over a year apart in age. When we were little people thought we were twin boys (my sister has been butch ever since my parents decided she was old enough to choose her own hairstyle). So even if you mistook me for a lesbian, you’d still have to be seriously pie-eyed drunk not to realize we’re siblings. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/50 "2009-07-14T16:59:17Z")
People tend to assume that a woman who hangs out with a lesbian must also be a lesbian. They also assume that a woman who hangs out with a man must be dating that man. People are stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/51 "2009-07-14T18:02:42Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > People tend to assume that a woman who hangs out with a lesbian must also be a lesbian. They also assume that a woman who hangs out with a man must be dating that man. People are stupid. In college, I lived in a coed dorm - one wing was male, one female, with nothing but an open elevator lobby between the two wings of every floor. I spent a lot of time in the men’s wing on my floor, and some of the women on my floor thought I was a lesbian. Because I hung out with guys all the time. :smack: It’s not that I was hot for one of the guys and ended up bedding him (and eventually, marrying him), oh no. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/52 "2009-07-14T18:37:28Z")
I love the verb “bedding.” It makes it sound like you’re advising him on bedroom decor and changing his sheets. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/53 "2009-07-14T19:30:20Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > People tend to assume that a woman who hangs out with a lesbian must also be a lesbian. They also assume that a woman who hangs out with a man must be dating that man. People are stupid. I went on a climbing trip with three other people. So it was 2 men, 2 women. We were all amazed by the gossip in our respective workplaces. Eg/ the one married woman “went on a trip with another man!” :eek: and that – how appalling! – the other guy’s wife was “actually _okay_ with him spending the night with another woman!” etc. Although AFAIK the rumors didn’t have me sharing a sleeping bag with the other guy, but who knows. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are a lot of people out there that have very immature notions of general relationship dynamics and assume a shitload more than they ought to. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/54 "2009-07-14T19:54:51Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > I’ve come to the conclusion that there are a lot of people out there that have very immature notions of general relationship dynamics and assume a shitload more than they ought to. There are a shocking number of people who’ve never progressed mentally or emotionally beyond the age of about 12. For some reason, they all seem to have fairly well-paying jobs in large businesses or institutions. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/55 "2009-07-14T19:58:09Z")
Once, when I was living at my grandparents’, I got home from college and Grandma wouldn’t talk to me. She looked furious; you know when people press their lips so much the edge of the lips goes white? Like that. Turns out Gramps’ networks of informants had reported that on the previous day, at the time I was supposed to be in German class, I had been seen… entering a “granja” (sort of a bar which serves milk-based refreshments, the name means farm and they used to be actual farms, with cows)… with a BOY! The reality was that the teacher hadn’t come and after half an hour the whole class of 12 girls and 2 boys had gone for some cocoa milk and giggles. I guess I’m lucky we didn’t get classified as an orgy in the mind of whomever the idiotic informant was. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/56 "2009-07-14T20:01:22Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Turns out Gramps’ networks of informants had reported that on the previous day, at the time I was supposed to be in German class, I had been seen… entering a “granja” (sort of a bar which serves milk-based refreshments, the name means farm and they used to be actual farms, with cows)… with a BOY! Well, if you’re drinking milk, at least you’re not one of those vegans. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/57 "2009-07-14T20:02:47Z")
Yeah. What’s with those people who assume that if you’re not gnawing on a cow at every meal that you’re a vegetarian? I don’t get it. I really don’t. I was out to lunch with some coworkers the other day and I ordered some Thai dish with tofu…and nobody asked me if I was a vegetarian! I was so relieved. I just like tofu in Thai food. > [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > They make women’s shirts with breast pockets? Yes. They’re called “bras.” ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/58 "2009-07-14T20:05:29Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > They’re called “bras.” God help me on the day when my breasts are flat enough to be slipped into a pocket. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/59 "2009-07-14T21:29:33Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > God help me on the day when my breasts are flat enough to be slipped into a pocket. 😃 Do you mean “shirt pocket” or “pants pocket”? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837/60 "2009-07-14T21:33:07Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > Do you mean “shirt pocket” or “pants pocket”? :eek: Either way, it would take quite a few more years of gravity stretching things out to make it comfortable \*\*or \*\*feasible. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-i-dont-feel-like-a-vegetarian/502837.md?page=4)