# Funny lines in obituaries **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 8, 2016, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536 "2016-04-08T12:41:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/1 "2016-04-08T12:41:20Z")
I just found out, my best friend in high school passed last week. There was much humor in his obituary, including the line “He wanted to be cremated, even though he was lactose-intolerant.” Got any others? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/2 "2016-04-08T13:23:07Z")
I didn’t know [this guy](http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n=James-Groth&lc=2595&pid=175392599&mid=6535739#ptlink.fid=7430&isc=1&did=curated.27697&ctp=article), but I think I would have liked him… ---
**Author:** ![pidgeon92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/50afbb/32.png) [@pidgeon92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pidgeon92)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/3 "2016-04-08T13:44:10Z")
> [@](#): > > According to his obituary in the Columbus Dispatch, Entsminger also “respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so the Browns can let him down one last time.” > **[Browns fan takes last shot at team in obit](https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/9459655/cleveland-browns-fan-takes-last-shot-team-obituary)** > > A lifelong Cleveland Browns fan has gone to his final rest, but not before making one last request from the team. ---
**Author:** ![Lurking\_Quahog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lurking_quahog/32/21274_2.png) [@Lurking\_Quahog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lurking_Quahog)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/4 "2016-04-08T15:23:52Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > I didn’t know [this guy](http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n=James-Groth&lc=2595&pid=175392599&mid=6535739#ptlink.fid=7430&isc=1&did=curated.27697&ctp=article), but I think I would have liked him… Me too, even if he DID manage to insult Rhode Island! ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/5 "2016-04-08T16:04:59Z")
My former high school Russian history teacher (obit was written by his son): [http://obits.cleveland.com/obituaries/cleveland/obituary.aspx?pid=169142469](http://obits.cleveland.com/obituaries/cleveland/obituary.aspx?pid=169142469) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/6 "2016-04-08T16:41:14Z")
From my dad’s obit, courtesy of my aunt: > [@](#): > > Seated at the head of the table and looking like he’d escaped from a 17th century oil painting, he presided over countless family celebrations, a connoisseur of fine food and finer “vino”. His home is a tribute to a lifetime of craftsmanship. He took a very long time to do things, but the results were always stunning. We see his mastery in the beautiful things he left us: the custom stringed instruments he built, the gorgeous woodwork and custom details in his home. He loved children and dogs and things done properly. He went about dying with the same slow attention to detail, and finally closed up shop on November 26th, 2014. ---
**Author:** ![rinni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f6c823/32.png) [@rinni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rinni)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/7 "2016-04-08T17:30:51Z")
[This one, from my hometown.](http://www.inmemoriam.ca/view-announcement-549326-angus-brian-macdonald.html) A snippet from the beginning: > [@](#): > > So, the world doesn’t have Angus MacDonald to kick around anymore. I’m gone! The devil finally called my name. The grim reaper came for me on Friday March 25,2016. I bought the farm. I bit the dust. So I guess I’m off to the promised land eh? The promised land! Imagine! ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/8 "2016-04-08T18:00:03Z")
I don’t have a funny line from an obituary, but I do have one from a eulogy. It happened at the funeral of an older woman, the mother in a family I have mentioned in various threads–about a movie she had recommended to me, for example. Her daughter gave the eulogy. The daughter was, naturally, overcome with emotion because of her mother’s death–she had to choke back her tears constantly-- but she managed to mention a very humorous anecdote from her own childhood, involving her mother’s driving. It got a laugh from everyone present, including me. (This girl has had a remarkable sense of humor and so did her mother.) ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/9 "2016-04-08T18:03:31Z")
No offense, **dougie** , but I think you left something out of your post. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/10 "2016-04-08T18:27:44Z")
> [@romansperson](#): > > My former high school Russian history teacher (obit was written by his son): > > [WILLIAM FUDGE Obituary (2014) - Sagamore Hills, OH - Cleveland.com](http://obits.cleveland.com/obituaries/cleveland/obituary.aspx?pid=169142469) That’s a great obit. I especially like the line about honoring his father’s grudge against florists. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/11 "2016-04-08T20:38:05Z")
Speaking of eulogies . . . my father pre-deceased my mother by about 10 years. He was a very impatient man with an abusive temper. In the eulogy for my mother, the rabbi mentioned, “I can just hear Jack down there, yelling \*‘God dammit, what the hell took you so long!?’” \* ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/12 "2016-04-08T20:51:01Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > No offense, **dougie** , but I think you left something out of your post. > > Regards, > Shodan What do you mean? Uh–if you mean what specifically was funny: She said her mother had run a stop sign, then when she realized it–about fifty feet past the intersection–she backed up through the intersection, approached the white line again, and properly stopped, then proceeded through the intersection again. Is that what I had omitted? ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/13 "2016-04-08T22:48:54Z")
For some reason, Memphis is a hotspot for innovative obits. > [@](#): > > Eleanor Brokaw New, a longtime resident of Memphis, Tenn., died on May 11, 2015. She reached room temperature, at age 98, in Opelika, Ala. > [@](#): > > William Louis Pankey ‘‘Bill’’, ‘‘Big Bill’’, ‘‘Billy’’, died December 22, 2013 after a prolonged battle with old age and a few illnesses. > … > Bill when not traveling could be found on most mornings having coffee at the Burger King, or Oak Court Mall with the Dead Peckers Club. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2016, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/14 "2016-04-09T03:24:46Z")
Quote (acknowledgment to Jasg): \*Eleanor Brokaw New, a longtime resident of Memphis, Tenn., died on May 11, 2015. She reached room temperature, at age 98, in Opelika, Ala. \* What day of the year was she born? You have to figure her birthday and the 6/10 of a degree into the equation… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2016, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/15 "2016-04-09T04:27:35Z")
I now have a overwhelming urge to join the Dead Peckers Club. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2022, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/16 "2022-01-12T18:44:38Z")
More of a surpising oddity than anything, in the obit of a man whose son I was best man at his wedding: (and ever knew this about him!) > [@](#): > > Family and friends will gather in early August to ponder his right-wing conservative and politically incorrect life. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2022, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/17 "2022-01-13T01:10:33Z")
Not the funniest line ever, but this throw-away line in my sister’s obituary (written by her kids) managed to make grieving family and friends smile. “Regularly answering Final Jeopardy brought her much happiness.” ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2022, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-in-obituaries/751536/18 "2022-01-14T20:26:04Z")
My mother’s maiden name was Keister. And yes, it’s pronounced just like you think it is. It was put his obituary quote that he was a song in our hearts and a pain in our keisters. Incidentally, I thought the dead pecker club was something my grandpa came up with. Except it was the Dead pecker gang. Live and learn.