# Funny lines to modern readers in old books **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 4, 2006, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390 "2006-06-04T17:53:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dusty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@Dusty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dusty)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/1 "2006-06-04T17:53:38Z")
We’ve done threads like this before, but I don’t remember one recently. What old books have you read that use language that doesn’t… well, that just doesn’t quite suggest what they probably meant it to anymore? There’s a flea market this weekend, with a table of some ratty old books. I like old books, but at 25 cents each, these were expensive for the condition they were in. I picked one up, called _Bob’s Father_, printed in 1882. The opening lines are: > [@](#): > > You may remember him. I don’t mean the father, but Bob. Bob Richards, a fellow we “broke in” in a queer way one Christmas down at our school. That’s so worth a quarter. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/2 "2006-06-04T17:59:33Z")
If school kids still read Washington Irving’s _Legend of Sleepy Hollow,_ you can count on some snickering when it says that Ichabod “spent a long time at his toilet.” ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/3 "2006-06-04T18:13:01Z")
I adore Jane Austen and I love to pretend to be a grownup, but I still can’t help snickering over the fact that Fanny, in Mansfield Park, tends to be easily knocked up. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/4 "2006-06-04T18:46:14Z")
It’s stretching the notion of a book a bit, but [http://www.superdickery.com/seduction/3.html](http://www.superdickery.com/seduction/3.html) this sequence from an old Batman comic is one of the funniest things ever published. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/5 "2006-06-04T18:48:21Z")
I love that Dickens’s characters frequently ejaculate at each other. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/6 "2006-06-04T19:08:58Z")
I am certain I recall a line from Thomas Hardy’s “Two on a Tower” that said " … The heavens are **well- hung** tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/7 "2006-06-04T19:27:24Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > I love that Dickens’s characters frequently ejaculate at each other. Better than that- this exchange is from Sherlock Holmes (don’t have my copy with me, so this may not be exact, but this was the jist of it): > [@Arthur Conan-Doyle](#): > > “Holmes!” I ejaculated in suprise. Holmes looked at me disparagingly. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/8 "2006-06-04T19:35:09Z")
You could devote a chapter just to “Gay”. Or any of numerous references to “burning faggots”. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/9 "2006-06-04T19:59:44Z")
My favorite was the line from _Gone with the Wind_ about newspaper advertisements, one of which was for a cure for lost manhood. I don’t know how men can lose their manhood, but I guess it was a problem during the Civil War… Robin ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/10 "2006-06-04T20:04:16Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > My favorite was the line from _Gone with the Wind_ about newspaper advertisements, one of which was for a cure for lost manhood. I don’t know how men can lose their manhood, but I guess it was a problem during the Civil War… > > Robin I’m guessing it was an ad for the 19th century version of Enzyte… ---
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/11 "2006-06-04T20:04:23Z")
Of course, nobody seems to know the true definition of “intercourse” any more and just assumes the meaning is “sexual intercourse.” Books up until the early part of the 20th century frequently use "intercourse’ in the proper meaning, probably shocking a lot of young librarians, parents and lets the kids snicker. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/12 "2006-06-04T20:15:58Z")
Speaking of _Gone With the Wind_, which Mitchell wrote in the 30s, there’s a line where Scarlett, after seeing Ashley again, wonders how she could have ever stood having “other men make love to her.” Gave me quite a turn, and I think it meant back then that other men were speaking romantically to her. Otherwise, Scarlett was quite the tart! ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/13 "2006-06-04T20:27:18Z")
Long ago, I had a good chuckle when I encountered a line in a P.G. Wodehouse novel (I think it was one of the Psmith tales) which said something like “He wiped his pecker and began to speak.” I presume that a facial feature was being wiped here, but I’m not sure whether it’s a nose or a mouth. Wodehouse also used the phrase “to keep [one’s] pecker up,” apparently with the meaning “to maintain high spirits.” I first read Wodehouse when I was twelve, and I found references to peckers immensely amusing at that age. ---
**Author:** ![lobstermobster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobstermobster/32/10033_2.png) [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/14 "2006-06-04T21:20:24Z")
> [@KlondikeGeoff](#): > > Of course, nobody seems to know the true definition of “intercourse” any more and just assumes the meaning is “sexual intercourse.” > > Books up until the early part of the 20th century frequently use "intercourse’ in the proper meaning, probably shocking a lot of young librarians, parents and lets the kids snicker. When studying literature in college I found the same reaction to the word “impotent”. This is actually a word I insist on using myself because a lot of the time its first meaning is exactly the word i’m looking for. Usually I get a lot of those “youre a girl why are you saying that about yourself” looks. I’m sticking to my guns though. Maybe I can single handedly bring that word back for uses that dont involve enzyte. I also remember a mention of an Indian in Tender is the Night named George T Horseprotection. I still think thats funny. I love it. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/15 "2006-06-04T21:27:15Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Gave me quite a turn, and I think it meant back then that other men were speaking romantically to her. “Make love” as a synonym for sexual intercourse wasn’t established until the 1960s. Before then, it just meant “make romance.” ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/16 "2006-06-04T21:34:24Z")
> [@Walloon](#): > > “Make love” as a synonym for sexual intercourse wasn’t established until the 1960s. Before then, it just meant “make romance.” I’d say it made the transition a little earlier; I seem to recall that Raymond Chandler uses it in both senses over his 20-yr career from the 30’s to the 50’s. But yes, it’s always fun reading novels of the 18th and 19th century where you’ll find a young woman discussing the merits of various lovers with her mom. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/17 "2006-06-04T21:38:11Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Speaking of _Gone With the Wind_, which Mitchell wrote in the 30s, there’s a line where Scarlett, after seeing Ashley again, wonders how she could have ever stood having “other men make love to her.” > > Gave me quite a turn, and I think it meant back then that other men were speaking romantically to her. Otherwise, Scarlett was quite the tart! Heck, that’s nothing. From _The Silver Chair_: > [@C.S. Lewis](#): > > She [Jill] made love to everyone–the grooms, the porters, the housemaids, the ladies-in-waiting, and the elderly giant lords whose hunting days were past. Now, where’s AG Gonzales? ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/18 "2006-06-04T21:39:27Z")
In The Silver Chair (the Narnia book with Jill and Eustace), there’s a passage while they’re in a Gaints’ castle, and it makes a reference to Jill ‘making love’ to the Giants. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/19 "2006-06-04T21:43:23Z")
… Heh. Simulpost. Darn you! ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390/20 "2006-06-04T21:53:50Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > In The Silver Chair (the Narnia book with Jill and Eustace), there’s a passage while they’re in a Gaints’ castle, and it makes a reference to Jill ‘making love’ to the Giants. Wow. Flexible. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-lines-to-modern-readers-in-old-books/359390.md?page=2)