# Funny mathematical joke about "giving 110%" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 16, 2006, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652 "2006-10-16T17:11:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/1 "2006-10-16T17:11:08Z")
I got this from my dad, who probably passed it on from someone else, but it’s funny, and apt. This equation should be taught in all math [and business] classes! From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% And, B-U-L-L- S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top! ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/2 "2006-10-16T17:16:15Z")
That’s a good one. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/3 "2006-10-16T17:31:26Z")
My Christian sister-in-law sent me nearly the same thing in email. However, the punch line was LOVE OF GOD = 101%. I wonder how many versions are floating around in the webby cosmos. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/4 "2006-10-16T18:26:35Z")
Ah, but BILL GATES III = 666%. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/5 "2006-10-16T18:30:27Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Ah, but BILL GATES III = 666%. [/QUOTE] In which version of Excel? But what I like is that ALL = 1+12+12 =25%. So, if you’re giving ALL, you’re giving just 25%. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/6 "2006-10-16T18:50:22Z")
[QUOTE=Giles] But what I like is that ALL = 1+12+12 =25%. So, if you’re giving ALL, you’re giving just 25%. [/QUOTE] yeah, but if you’re giving ‘your all’ you’re giving 104%, so you’re actually giving more than you thought had in you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/7 "2006-10-16T19:10:47Z")
[QUOTE=Giles] In which version of Excel? But what I like is that ALL = 1+12+12 =25%. So, if you’re giving ALL, you’re giving just 25%. [/QUOTE] But you don’t give “ALL”, you give “YOUR ALL” - 25+15+21+18+1+12+12 = 104% ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/8 "2006-10-16T19:41:40Z")
This is an old e-mail I’d seen floating around before… I swear I remember it had more to it… [QUOTE=Telemark] But you don’t give “ALL”, you give “YOUR ALL” - 25+15+21+18+1+12+12 = 104% [/QUOTE] I don’t know about you all, but I don’t give “YOUR ALL”, I give “MY ALL”. Unfortunately, that’s only: 13 + 24 + 1 + 12 + 12 = 62%. I guess YOUR ALL is better than MY ALL. Hmm… now I’m confused. ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/9 "2006-10-16T20:05:31Z")
There’s another one that starts from basic equations: knowledge = power (schoolhouse rock) power = work/time (physics) time = money (just generally known to be true) You can work out the algebra, but basically, those who get paid the most are the ones who know a lot of stuff, but do almost no work, or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/10 "2006-10-16T20:08:53Z")
[QUOTE=Blaster Master] Hmm… now I’m confused. [/QUOTE] You think your confused? Turns out HEAD only gives 18%. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/11 "2006-10-16T20:39:10Z")
[QUOTE=The Controvert] You think your confused? Turns out HEAD only gives 18%. :dubious: [/QUOTE] Yes, but BLOW JOB gives you 79%. If you really want to earn “brownie” points though, you have to give a TOSSED SALAD. 119% baby. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/12 "2006-10-16T21:45:37Z")
Actually, it’s a lesson about literacy: **sesquipedalian** gives 152%. It pays to use long words. Also, I think it’s funny that GIVING YOUR ALL will score lower than GIVING YOUR ASS. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/13 "2006-10-16T22:51:47Z")
Well, heck with it then…if I put NOTHING in at work, I’m still giving 87%. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/14 "2006-10-17T01:18:38Z")
I can work HALF A DAY and I’m giving them 58%. I slow down after lunch. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/15 "2006-10-17T01:50:51Z")
The Space Shuttle spools its engines up to 104% during launch. If it blows up, at least we know it was trying really, really hard. Maybe that is even why it blew up. You can get injured through overexertion. I wonder if NASA ever thought about that? ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2006, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/16 "2006-10-17T04:25:30Z")
So if I’m taking a nap and catching some ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz, I’m probably doing alright. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2006, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mathematical-joke-about-giving-110/376652/17 "2006-10-18T18:25:31Z")
> [@](#): > > The Space Shuttle spools its engines up to 104% during launch. If it blows up, at least we know it was trying really, really hard. Maybe that is even why it blew up. You can get injured through overexertion. I wonder if NASA ever thought about that? How exactly do they do that? Figure out the maximum thrust that the engines can produce and then make them to produce four percent more? Turn it up to eleven? Presumably what NASA does is test its shuttle by running it at 104% of the power they expect to use during a mission. But for all we know, the engines are capable of 120% of normal mission power and the test is no strain.