# Funny mishearings/misreadings **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 7, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516 "2005-09-07T14:38:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/1 "2005-09-07T14:38:44Z")
I tend to mis-read things a lot. F’instance, I was driving past a nail salon and read their sign as “Tasty Nails;” I thought maybe it was a combination beauty parlor and Korean restaurant. On second look, the sign says “Fantasy Nails.” Last week, I read “quid pro quo” as “squid pro quo.” My first thought was that it sounded like part of the SDMB initiation ritual. My roommates and I brew our own beer, and Saturday it was my turn to make a batch. I added the yeast Saturday night and checked it eagerly the next day to see if it was bubbling yet (indicating active fermentation). It was, and I happily reported to my roommates, “My beer is starting to bubble!” “Cool,” said one roommate. “WHAT?” said the other. “My beer is bubbling.” “Oh. I thought you said your rear was starting to bubble.” Anyone else got some amusing misreadings or mishearings to share? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/2 "2005-09-07T15:06:26Z")
I regularly pass by a restaurant that I think is called Stir Crazy. The sign says “Fine Canadian Cuisine.” Huh? Oh, maybe it said “Cambodian.” ---
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/3 "2005-09-07T15:59:57Z")
Back in college, several of us were hanging around the living room. Roomie B and I announced our intentions to go to the store. Roomie K then says (he claims) “I may accompany you to the store.” Roomie B and I turn to each other and in baffled unison exclaim “Hominy cumby!!!” – both having heard “Hominy cumby to the store.” ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/4 "2005-09-07T16:17:26Z")
My friend’s husband announced that he was going to go out to the garage. Both his wife and I heard “Swank Dragon.” We’re still not sure what that was about. There’s a realtor in town whose sign I always read on first glance as “reality corner.” ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/5 "2005-09-07T16:24:49Z")
> [@The Weird One](#): > > My roommates and I brew our own beer, and Saturday it was my turn to make a batch. I added the yeast Saturday night and checked it eagerly the next day to see if it was bubbling yet (indicating active fermentation). Well, if it counts, I just read “batch” as “bitch”. The following sentences made me think, “Yeah, that would make me bitchy, too! And rather itchy.” I have more, but I have to wake up enough to clearly read the OP, first. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/6 "2005-09-07T17:07:00Z")
For years, I always read the word “misled” not as mis-led, but as something pronounced “myzled.” My dad corrected me, amidst much guffawing. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/7 "2005-09-07T17:12:33Z")
Oh, I do this all the time. Especially when I’m without my glasses. We have a TV Guide channel here and there were two program listings in particular that I mistook for something else: - **Fisting with Kate and Shelly** was actually **Fishing with Kate and Shelly** - **Silver Speculum** was actually **Silver Spectrum** ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/8 "2005-09-07T18:05:04Z")
A homebuilder called **TK Constructors** underwrites shows on Indiana Public Radio. It didn’t take me long to catch my mistake, but I still picture “over twenty houseplants” at TK’s offices. It’s houseplans. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/9 "2005-09-07T19:03:11Z")
> [@mrklutz](#): > > Back in college, several of us were hanging around the living room. Roomie B and I announced our intentions to go to the store. Roomie K then says (he claims) “I may accompany you to the store.” Roomie B and I turn to each other and in baffled unison exclaim “Hominy cumby!!!” – both having heard “Hominy cumby to the store.” 🙂 Years ago I was hanging out with my now ex-girlfriend, and we decided that nakedness might be fun. We shed our clothes and then locked in a passionate embrace. She said “Mmm, nunski nunski!” I said “Mmm, yeah. Er, what?” “What?” “Did you say ‘nunski nunski?’” “No, I said ‘skin on skin.’” From that point on, we referred to sex as nunski nunski. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/10 "2005-09-07T19:10:42Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > For years, I always read the word “misled” not as mis-led, but as something pronounced “myzled.” My dad corrected me, amidst much guffawing. [You’re not the only one.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5454217&highlight=myzled#post5454217) ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/11 "2005-09-07T20:07:11Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > [You’re not the only one.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5454217&highlight=myzled#post5454217) Huh! I forgot that I had posted that story before! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/12 "2005-09-07T20:11:00Z")
I still haven’t gotten my [bacon-filled cake](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=315108). ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/13 "2005-09-07T21:09:42Z")
There was a sign on a bathroom door that I once read as _Please check your **personalities** before leaving_. It really said _Please check your personal items before leaving_, but I liked mine better. ---
**Author:** ![sneezy5660](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@sneezy5660](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sneezy5660)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/14 "2005-09-07T21:13:35Z")
There is a law firm in town with the name Associated Attorneys on their sign. The first few times we drove by there, I thought it said _Assorted Attorneys_ ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/15 "2005-09-07T21:15:12Z")
My local newspaper runs an ad several times a week with a headline that says **CONVENIENT AUTOPAY**. I can’t help seeing this as **CONVENIENT AUTOPSY**. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/16 "2005-09-07T21:15:43Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > Huh! I forgot that I had posted that story before! :rolleyes: How dumb am I? I hadn’t even noticed that it was you that I had quoted in the original message. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Wolfgrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wolfgrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfgrrl)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/17 "2005-09-07T21:23:40Z")
I do this all the time, but of course I can’t think of any shining examples at the moment. The only one that comes to mind is at my last job working for the state health system, I was filling out a form with a member over the phone and read “Medical Conditions” as “Montreal Canadiens.” I should probably add that I work part-time at the Fleet Center (well, it’s the Garden again now), and the Bruins had played the Canadiens the night before… My brother once read a book which made repeated reference to polo ponies, but spelled it as all one work: poloponies. And instead of figuring out what was meant through the context, he read it as poLOPonies through the entire book, with no clue what the hell they were talking about. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/18 "2005-09-07T21:28:07Z")
I realized that I forgot my chronic misreading: Any time I see “subtitles” on a DVD menu I read it “subtleties”. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/19 "2005-09-07T21:28:46Z")
> [@Wolfgrrl](#): > > My brother once read a book which made repeated reference to polo ponies, but spelled it as all one work: poloponies. And instead of figuring out what was meant through the context, he read it as poLOPonies through the entire book, with no clue what the hell they were talking about. Isn’t Poloponies a muse? A coworker stated that he had an appointment with a Kathy Morgan. I thought he said Captain Morgan. With this guy, it was quite possible the way I heard was right. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516/20 "2005-09-08T04:03:33Z")
I consistently misread “message center” as “massage center” on another board. I also read the signs as “Prosecutors will be violated.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-mishearings-misreadings/320516.md?page=2)