# Funny Real Life Names **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 13, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773 "2007-03-13T18:20:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/41 "2007-03-13T22:57:14Z")
“Fuck,” pronounced “Fook,” is a surname in the Germany Rhineland. Look in the phone book for the city of Koblenz and you’ll find half a dozen listings for people named Fuck. There’s also a firm in Koblenz called Drukerei Fuck (“Fuck Printing Co.”) ---
**Author:** ![RoniaBorkason](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9dc877/32.png) [@RoniaBorkason](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoniaBorkason)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/42 "2007-03-13T23:04:43Z")
Well, mine are pretty boring, but I had a friend in high school and college whose name was ‘Justin Case Lastname’, and my parents had a friend (the one who introduced them to each other) named Mike Hoff. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/43 "2007-03-13T23:23:20Z")
Guy down the hall is named “Randy Mann.” Cue “Tales of Ribaldry.” Tee-hee! ---
**Author:** ![Agonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@Agonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agonist)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/44 "2007-03-14T00:05:55Z")
These were told to me (so I do not vouch 100% for their accuracy): My dad had a friend in college who changed his name. His dad, a German immigrant, was extremely offended, as “Harry Bahls is a good strong name.” My ex-husband had a client, Peter Wacker, the CEO of the Wacker corporation. Apparently he did not learn from his own childhood, as his son was also on the board and was named Peter. This is the only one I vouch for personally: I had a co-worker once who named her son Levi. Levi Shouse. When I asked her about it, she grinned and said, “Yep. Tough to the very last!” ---
**Author:** ![Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alive_At_Both_Ends)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/45 "2007-03-14T00:23:15Z")
25 years ago, I did my job training with someone named Tim Burr. And one of the lecturers was called Dick Benderz. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/46 "2007-03-14T00:52:03Z")
[QUOTE=sjc] There is a well known fast food joint in Seattle called Dick’s. I always thought it was funny to hear frat boys saying “well, I’m going to go eat Dick’s”. [/QUOTE] Mm. My husband and I live down the road a few blocks from one. On occasion, my husband will put his shoes on and annouce, “I don’t know about you, but I’m going out to get some Dick’s.” … He always comes back with a lighter wallet and a smile on his face. ---
**Author:** ![Labtrash](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/labtrash/32/528_2.png) [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/47 "2007-03-14T02:18:33Z")
I know a woman named Crystal who married Mr. John Ball. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/48 "2007-03-14T03:09:31Z")
[QUOTE=Agonist] My dad had a friend in college who changed his name. His dad, a German immigrant, was extremely offended, as “Harry Bahls is a good strong name.” [/QUOTE] America’s Bahls are [concentrated in Iowa and Montana.](http://www.hamrick.com/names/names.cgi?surname=Bahls&year=1990&type=html) Back in college, I found one ‘ **Stormin Gator** ’ in the phone book. Apparently that surname doesn’t make it to the [top 50,000 American names.](http://www.hamrick.com/names/) [Turnipseed is there, though.](http://www.hamrick.com/names/names.cgi?surname=turnipseed&year=1990&type=html) ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/49 "2007-03-14T03:15:08Z")
Well, less on the funny side and more on the cool side, but I had a friend in college who’s last name was Bonesteel. ---
**Author:** ![Julius\_Henry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8797f3/32.png) [@Julius\_Henry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Julius_Henry)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/50 "2007-03-14T03:17:29Z")
Since no one’s mentioned her, I suppose none of you youngsters have heard of [Ima Hogg](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ima_Hogg). And, no, she does not have a sister. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/51 "2007-03-14T03:38:29Z")
This is more bad-ass than anything else, but there’s a very well-respected political scientist named Ann-Marie Slaughter. She’s mainly an international relations wonk - if you can think of a better name for that field, I’ll buy you a drink. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/52 "2007-03-14T03:44:57Z")
Behold the incomprehensibly-named [Oral Suer](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oral_Suer) . Whether you pronounce it “Sewer” (which I think is correct) or “Swear” it’s still funny. I worked in a company with a Philippine office. The last name of one of the officers there was Pagan-Colon. Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/53 "2007-03-14T03:52:26Z")
When I was about 14, we visited San Francisco. Of course, we had to go tour Chinatown. My dad suddenly burst out laughing and took a picture of a laundry. I found that picture years later and saw what dad was laughing about. Down in the corner of the window, under all the prices and services listed, was the proprietor’s name: Hung Far Lo. ---
**Author:** ![Raza](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raza/32/213_2.png) [@Raza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raza)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/54 "2007-03-14T03:54:06Z")
> [@](#): > > Ann-Marie Slaughter […] She’s mainly an international relations wonk - if you can think of a better name for that field I can’t think of a better _name_, but the 90-degree version is that I worked with a homicide detective named Charlie Slaughter. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/55 "2007-03-14T03:57:18Z")
[Anita Hoare](http://www.ottawahomes.net/) Real Estate Agent, from my hometown of Ottawa, Ontario. _snort_ And of course, there’s always professor Drydyk, at Carleton University, also in Ottawa. Great guy. Awesome name. Department of Philosophy, I think. Too lazy to look up the link. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/56 "2007-03-14T04:09:08Z")
People I’ve known: [ul] [li]Scarlet Angel[/li][li]Plymouth Rock[/li][li]Velvet Knight[/li][li]Et (pronounced “Eat”) Wright[/li][li]Dang Wright (Both Et and Dang were Vietnamese kids, I think, adopted by a military family)[/li][li]Several Vietnamese kids named Phuc (I don’t care how it’s pronounced, it’s just not safe in a middle/high school[/li][li]A woman with the last name of Ho[/li][/ul] I knew of a guy named Justin Case as well. Sounds pretty common. At my school, we have several profs named Richard that are in their fifties and sixties. They all go by “Dick.” They are also all senior members of the faculty - so often people discuss how important a meeting is by how many Dicks are in attendance. “Hey, that curriculum committee meeting was a big deal, three Dicks showed up.” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/57 "2007-03-14T04:23:48Z")
I know a motivational speaker called Bora Ucok. He works it. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/58 "2007-03-14T04:38:02Z")
[Dick Blood](http://cornellbigred.cstv.com/sports/w-softbl/mtt/blood_dick00.html): He could sit next to Mr. Trickle. He lives in my town and actually called my job when I worked as a receptionist. I had to stifle myself hard not to laugh my ass off while saying, “Jim, I have Dick Blood on the phone…” and half expected him to say, “Well, wipe it off, for god’s sake, and stop doing that on company time!” [Dr. Peter Head](http://www.tyndale.cam.ac.uk/Tyndale/staff/Head/Staff.htm): I actually knew a Peter Head. This is not him, but that just goes to show, there’s more than one out there. Wow. [Dick Armey](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Armey) of Texas was House Majority Leader. I always thought that sounded like a very right-wing hawk name, so it’s kind of uncanny. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/59 "2007-03-14T04:45:06Z")
I once had a lady come into my court named Daphne Threat Medley. Dare I say it… Band Name! ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2007, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773/60 "2007-03-14T05:21:19Z")
[QUOTE=Anastasaeon] Mm. My husband and I live down the road a few blocks from one. On occasion, my husband will put his shoes on and annouce, “I don’t know about you, but I’m going out to get some Dick’s.” … He always comes back with a lighter wallet and a smile on his face. [/QUOTE] They need to open one in Sequim. I’m sure there’s some place on [Kitchen-Dick Road](http://www.celebratebig.com/roadside-attractions/kitchen-dick-road.htm) 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-real-life-names/395773.md?page=4)