# Funny story about shooting a dog **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 28, 2003, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728 "2003-03-28T06:10:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DaddyTimesTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DaddyTimesTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaddyTimesTwo)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/21 "2003-03-28T16:04:40Z")
This has a real history of ethically-challenged behavior. He’s a network systems engineer and, shall we say, he was given to creative use of company property. He would be a good example of a sociopath (a person with sense or interest or sympathy in any one other than themselves). ---
**Author:** ![Cerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Cerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerri)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/22 "2003-03-28T16:09:42Z")
I’d tell the boss about that story, if I trusted him to keep it on the QT, imo. If a guy will snap and kill a dog for barking, do you want to be around when he gets laid off or demoted? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/23 "2003-03-28T16:14:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clint in Wichita \* > \*\*The guy’s only mistake was not shooting the dog AND the dog’s owner. > > I wouldn’t shoot a dog, and I don’t condone it, but my GOD some of you are pussies! \*\* Hi there. As a fully authorised and duly appointed deputy of the human race, let me present you with this free coupon for a vasectomy. Um… we’d rather you weren’t reproducing. Nothing personal. Your genetic data does not fit our needs at this time. cc: Higher Power, Planned Parenthood ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/24 "2003-03-28T16:30:28Z")
[Ok, now for a funny story about shooting and dogs.](http://www.myusm.com/usm322699.html) Instant karmic retribution. Now that is funny. I remember reading that in the Washington Post but I can’t search the archives because I am not a member. ---
**Author:** ![Kalashnikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kalashnikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalashnikov)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/25 "2003-03-28T18:41:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cerri \* > \*\*I’d tell the boss about that story, if I trusted him to keep it on the QT, imo. If a guy will snap and kill a dog for barking, do you want to be around when he gets laid off or demoted? \*\* Absolutely. Be afraid. Be very afraid. If I had to be around someone like that, I would defintely be armed ALL the time. BTW, There’s no such thing as an unregistered pistol in Kentucky, or rather they’re all unregistered because Kentucky doesn’t register guns. Someone should have called the police, but if this happened years ago I don’t know if it would accomplish anything now. Although if he does have a criminal record, it might be illegal for him to have a gun at all. Hmm. ---
**Author:** ![Clint\_in\_Wichita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Clint\_in\_Wichita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clint_in_Wichita)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/26 "2003-03-28T18:53:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > \*\*Hi there. > > As a fully authorised and duly appointed deputy of the human race, let me present you with this free coupon for a vasectomy. > > Um… we’d rather you weren’t reproducing. > > Nothing personal. Your genetic data does not fit our needs at this time. > > cc: Higher Power, Planned Parenthood \*\* Too late! BTW, how many dogs have you rescued from animal shelters? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/27 "2003-03-28T19:00:08Z")
Heh. Ya beat me to that little tidbit about handgun registration in Kentucky, Kalishnikov. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/28 "2003-03-28T20:19:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clint in Wichita \* > \*\*Too late! > > BTW, how many dogs have you rescued from animal shelters? \*\* One cat-- how many do we need? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/29 "2003-03-28T20:40:20Z")
So if we don’t personally rescue all dogs from animal shelters, they should be shot instead. Good work Clint. You have my vote. By the way, I’ve rescued one dog from the streets and three cats from shelters, and I think your comment was crass at best. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/30 "2003-03-28T20:42:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NurseCarmen \* > I swear if I would have had an RPG on any of those Saturday mornings when that damn dog woke not only me, but my infant son up, it would have been Poodle Bits [sup]TM[/sup]. > \*\* Sorry, miniature hijack here… RPG? (I know this as Role Playing Game). Registered something Gun? sorry, not an acronym familiar to me. Thanks in advance for enlightening me!! ---
**Author:** ![Kalashnikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kalashnikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalashnikov)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/31 "2003-03-28T20:43:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clint in Wichita \* > \*\*BTW, how many dogs have you rescued from animal shelters? \*\* The dogs destroyed by animal shelters don’t belong to anyone, at least not anyone who wants them. And when they are killed, its done in a humane way (not that shooting is always intrinsicly inhumane) that does not endanger either bystanders’ lives or gunowners’ rights. I wouldn’t have a problem with ‘dognapping’ an animal in a case like this and taking it to a shelter, since that’s the first place a person would call if their dog was missing and they cared about it at all. It would give the owner a second chance to take care of it and do something about the barking. I also wouldn’t have a problem with someone shooting **their own** dog if it was very ill, or vicious or something, provided they did it as humanely, safely, and discreetly as possible - **and didn’t laugh and brag about it**. ---
**Author:** ![Kalashnikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kalashnikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalashnikov)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/32 "2003-03-28T20:45:46Z")
RPG = rocket propelled grenade ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/33 "2003-03-28T20:46:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clint in Wichita \* > \*\*Too late! > > BTW, how many dogs have you rescued from animal shelters? \*\* Well, I’ve written grants that have gotten about $25,000 dedicated to having animals spayed and neutered in our community. I’ve designed our shelter’s Web site, which has led to a significant increase in adoptions from our shelter. I’ve spoken to hundreds of children in classrooms about the need to spay and neuter animals. And I’ve got two cats in my house that I adopted from the shelter. Am I, therefore, qualified to call you a shitbiscuit? You may in real life be a sweetie. But in this thread, you come across like a bad case of diarrhea. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/34 "2003-03-28T20:47:20Z")
Rocket Propelled Grenade. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/35 "2003-03-28T20:50:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*Sorry, miniature hijack here… > > RPG? (I know this as Role Playing Game). > > Registered something Gun? sorry, not an acronym familiar to me. > > Thanks in advance for enlightening me!! \*\* RPG- Rocket Propelled Grenade- a cheap light anti-tank weapon popular in many third world countries which have access to old Soviet Union military equipment. Not much use against modern tanks, but decent against APC’s, landing helo’s and barking Poodles (just kidding of course- RPGing a poodle is not a good idea, and is a violation of an amazing amount of different laws). ---
**Author:** ![Ashkicker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@Ashkicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashkicker)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/36 "2003-03-28T21:00:38Z")
This is totally fucking sick. Not only did he shoot the dog, but he shot the dog in a neighborhood? It was garbage day? That tells me he could have missed his target and hit a person or God forbid a kid. I don’t care how early in the morning it was. I’d certainly turn his ass in! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/37 "2003-03-28T21:11:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DanielWithrow \* > \*\*Yuck. The world has some assholes in it. > > When I first started working at the humane society, we had a local guy who worked ona construction site. There was a stray dog that came around the site sometimes, so one day this fool went over to the dog with a machete, killed it, chopped its head off, and licked the blood from his machete in front of the rest of the crew. > > Yay felony animal cruelty convictions. > Daniel \*\* Well, I hope you found some consolation in the thought of the many interesting blood parasites he undoubtedly picked up from his little display of machismo. And **Clint** , speaking as someone who’s saved four dogs, three cats, and a variety of rodentia from animal shelters, I’m going to be execercising my duely earned right to call you a living skidmark on the tighty-whiteys of the human race. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/38 "2003-03-28T21:32:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DanielWithrow \* > \*\*Well, I’ve written grants that have gotten about $25,000 dedicated to having animals spayed and neutered in our community. I’ve designed our shelter’s Web site, which has led to a significant increase in adoptions from our shelter. I’ve spoken to hundreds of children in classrooms about the need to spay and neuter animals. And I’ve got two cats in my house that I adopted from the shelter. > > Am I, therefore, qualified to call you a shitbiscuit?Daniel \*\* It also qualifies you as my hero du jour, **Daniel**. Oh, and I have three rescued cats and one rescued dog. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/39 "2003-03-28T23:17:20Z")
Killing an innocent animal (however annoying) because it is neglected and unattended is a vicious and criminal act. I wondered how you were possibly going to make a dog-killing thread funny. Now I don’t … you didn’t. I can’t wish that someone kills one of your innocent pets. I can only call you a Grade AAA, jumbo, ranch style and range fed, prime cut, hallmarked, top drawer, flight worthy, 14 Karat, Heinz 57 Varieties of pure uncut **rectal cavity**. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728/40 "2003-03-28T23:20:58Z")
Sorry, posted too soon. Please refer to the criminal party with all of the above adjectives. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-story-about-shooting-a-dog/164728.md?page=1)