# Funny Stuff That Never Gets Old **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 31, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667 "2003-10-31T16:08:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![BoringDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@BoringDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoringDad)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/81 "2003-11-04T02:52:37Z")
You people annoy me. Here I thought I had a lot of great Funny Stuff Moments I was going to post and snicker about, but by the time I got through reading the thread almost all of them had already been used. Even Taking Retards to the Zoo! I mean really, how many people even HEARD that song, let alone would think to post it? I would have thought that 1920’s style Death Rays would by old by now. But nope. Still funny. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/82 "2003-11-04T03:08:51Z")
What’s brown and sticky. A brown stick. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/83 "2003-11-04T04:05:04Z")
The Goons. I’ve heard every show dozens of times but I will stop whatever I’m doing to listen when they come on. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/84 "2003-11-04T04:43:47Z")
Any MST3K schtick, especially “MITCHELL!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Fnoonf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f6c823/32.png) [@Fnoonf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fnoonf)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/85 "2003-11-04T05:39:26Z")
In general, farts. As regards specific scenes or jokes, there’s only one thing that’s never gotten old for me: There’s a scene in an episode of Family Guy called “Stuck Together, Torn Apart” where Peter and Lois are arguing about his stifling jealousy, and his comments continually get more surrealistic and scary. Lois tells him so, to which he replies “Good! Embrace the fear, Lois! Dance with me! Dance the Dance of Life!” He then launches into the most ridiculous dance imaginable, in the midst of which he trips over a coffee table and falls into a bookcase, breaking it. This scene is the only thing in the world which absolutely never ever gets old. It always cracks me up every single time I watch it. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/86 "2003-11-04T06:14:21Z")
I’ll second (or third or fourth) Eddie Izzard. Every so often HBO re-runs “Dress to Kill,” and if I tune past it, I’ll usually get sucked in. I’m just completely amazed how he can be so hysterical for _an hour and a half_. And about topics like the history of Europe, the Church of England (“cake or death?”) and whether Engelbert Humperdinck is really dead. He’s amazing. Black Adder and almost anything else by Rowan Atkinson. And of course, Calvin and Hobbes. I periodically read through all the books, and always come across many strips that make me laugh out loud, even the thousandth time. (Calvin in a hat and a strange mustache, saying to his mother, “Kahlveen? Who ees thees Kahlveen?”) ---
**Author:** ![rickschu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9a140/32.png) [@rickschu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rickschu)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/87 "2003-11-04T06:28:04Z")
Q: What’s brown and sticky? A: A stick ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/88 "2003-11-04T07:53:43Z")
“I have no gate key.” “Fezzik, tear his arms off.” “Oh, you mean this gate key.” ---
**Author:** ![jovan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/0ea827/32.png) [@jovan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jovan)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/89 "2003-11-04T08:28:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen. I have in this box twenty-three white mice. Mice which have been painstakingly trained over the past few years, to squeak at a selected pitch. (he raises a mouse by its tail) This is E sharp… and this one is G. You get the general idea. Now these mice are so arranged upon this rack, that when played in the correct order they will squeak ‘The Bells of St Mary’s’. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you on the mouse organ ‘The Bells of St Mary’s’. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/90 "2003-11-04T08:44:01Z")
**Christopher Walken** on Saturday Night Live… “I’ve got a fever… and the only prescription is More Cowbell” Many scenes in **Wayne’s World** , particularly when (and I admit that there’s no real reason this should be as funny as it is) Stacey crashes her bike into the parked car Some of the finer moments from **Friends** , particularly Joey wearing all of Chandler’s clothes and doing knee-bends, and Jon Lovitz as the stoned restaurateur… The **Dysfunctional Family Circus** ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/91 "2003-11-04T08:47:50Z")
First let me say that “I Love Lucy” never gets old. Also the radio program, “Fibber McGee and Molly.” Then there’s this story my Dad tells that is evidently based in truth. Seems that during WWII, the Army got this idea of attaching incendiary bombs to bats that would go off when they hit a certain elevation. Apparently, they thought they could set these buggars loose over Tokyo and all the paper and wood buildings would go FWOOOM! They used an old airfield hangar in Oregon to keep the bats in while they tested out the idea. One day some of the bats got loose, wound up torching the hangar and nearly burning down the surrounding forest as well. The Army decided to abandon the idea. The idea of incendiary bats always makes me laugh even though I feel sorry for them too. There’s an episode of Red Dwarf where Kryten crashes the Space Bug and is caught in the wreckage. He’s a robot so he detaches one of his hands, sticks one of his eyeballs on a finger and sends it off for help. In the next scene, Lister is sitting at a computer and Cat is standing beside him. Lister feels something on his leg and immediately thinks it’s a tarantula. He’s so scared he can’t talk or move except to type “There’s a transhula on my leg.” Cat gets scared too and types something back like, “What should we do?” After a bit more of this and Lister says, “I think its building a nest in my shorts.” Then the hand pops up and types, “Hi, guys!” I’m just rolling with laughter through that whole scene! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/92 "2003-11-04T11:40:18Z")
The Simpsons. And the _Friends_ physical humor. Like when Ross was trying to asl Rachael out duringthe blackout, but was attacked by the stray cat on the balcony. Gets me every time. ---
**Author:** ![auliya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/90db22/32.png) [@auliya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auliya)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/93 "2003-11-04T12:09:57Z")
Well, initially I couldn’t think of anything to put in this thread, but having read **aasna** ’s linked essay, I will never think of Cervantes or Francis Drake in the same way again. > [@](#): > > Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. and > [@](#): > > Sir Francis Drake circumsised the world with a 100-foot clipper. The mind boggles. ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/94 "2003-11-04T16:29:50Z")
**Strange Brew** : “If you’d stick to your twelve-point maintenance program, we wouldn’t have to jump-start you like this!” “Gee, you’re real pretty. If I didn’t have puke-breath, I’d kiss you.” And the joke: Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A: A stick I laugh every. single. time. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/95 "2003-11-04T19:32:10Z")
Quoting from the movie Top Secret never gets old “What phoney dog poop” “I know a little German, he’s sitting over there” “No one iz allowed to see ze Torch” singing “When we shoot the curl we really shoot the curl…” “Let me know the minute his condition changes. He’s dead.” “There is a schnauzer in my lederhosen” ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/96 "2003-11-04T19:34:50Z")
Quoting from the movie Top Secret never gets old “What phoney dog poop?” “I know a little German, he’s sitting over there” “No one iz allowed to see ze Torch” singing “When we shoot the curl we really shoot the curl…” “Let me know the minute his condition changes. He’s dead.” “There is a schnauzer in my lederhosen” “Hillary. It means ‘She whose bosom defies gravity’” ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/97 "2003-11-04T19:36:29Z")
Batman threads. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/98 "2003-11-04T19:37:49Z")
Yay! My first hamstered double post ever! To celebrate, I’d also like to say: Gotcha Ya! Man, that never gets old 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dawne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Dawne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dawne)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/99 "2003-11-04T22:03:32Z")
The scene in family guy where peter is poking the crocodile with a stick (i think). Funniest and most unexpected thing ever. Actually, nearly every joke in family guy… i love that show. Also this… [http://www.rathergood.com/vid](http://www.rathergood.com/vid) And this joke (along with the two stick jokes) Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667/100 "2003-11-04T23:17:21Z")
- Dan Ackroyd as Julia Child. “Save the Liver!” - Any Monty Python skit with Idle and Jones in pepperpot drag - Cheech and Chong’s “Sister Mary Elephant.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-stuff-that-never-gets-old/210667.md?page=6)