# Funny Things Said During Sex **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 23, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676 "2009-01-23T18:25:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/1 "2009-01-23T18:25:01Z")
I know we have had a few threads like this before but I need to be entertained at the moment so humor me and play along\*. 😃 About a month ago my boyfriend and I were together and, while he always rocks my world, that night he had a super human burst of energy and managed to keep going for about half an hour longer than normal. Several orgasms into our tryst I apparently looked up at him in awe and wonder and said, “I should buy you a present!” He burst out laughing and collapsed on top of me, essentially bringing that round of love making to an end but giving us an inside joke that will always be funny. Now it’s your turn! \*I didn’t get to sleep last night and I am right at about 30 hours of being awake and I still have to get through the rest of my day at work without passing out so I am trying to find interesting and amusing things to do to keep me awake. I figure reading about hilarious sexcapades will help! ---
**Author:** ![chromaticity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@chromaticity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chromaticity)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/2 "2009-01-23T18:47:56Z")
Nice! The weirdest thing said to me was, “Ooh, I will have babys with that one!”, stopped me in my tracks, that did. The funniest thing I said was(apparently), “Was that an earthquake?” Turns out that it was, so I guess I am not so good… ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/3 "2009-01-23T19:07:52Z")
A girl when I was in college, back in the days before sex killed you, and the worst you could do was to have to take some pills or get a shot, and we were all jumping each other wherever we could… I was deeply in lust with her, merely from watching her walk through the cafeteria with her friends. I ran into her by coincidence at a party, found the courage (in a glass of beer) to talk to her. Not 12-15 minutes later we were back in her room, making the old squeaky dorm bed do what old squeaky dorm beds do. After an hour or more of various bouts of different things, she sat up, grabbed me by the sides of my head and said: (wait for it now) “So, do I get that second date now?” ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/4 "2009-01-23T19:51:33Z")
> [@chromaticity](#): > > The funniest thing I said was(apparently), “Was that an earthquake?” > Turns out that it was, so I guess I am not so good.. The proper response was yes, that always happens, I call them Earthgasms. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/5 "2009-01-23T19:57:12Z")
> [@chromaticity](#): > > Nice! > The weirdest thing said to me was, “Ooh, I will have babys with that one!”, stopped me in my tracks, that did. In my case, it was a girl who almost yelled “cum in me and give me your baby” :eek: Considering it was like a second or third date and my last serious relationship was with the mother of my twin boys who I was not really totally over…major mood killer. …\ ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/6 "2009-01-23T20:00:39Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > In my case, it was a girl who almost yelled “cum in me and give me your baby” > > :eek: > Considering it was like a second or third date…\ Wow, that is more creepy than funny. I can’t imagine someone saying that at all, let alone on a second or third date! Talk of babies is never sexy. ---
**Author:** ![JerseyFrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@JerseyFrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerseyFrank)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/7 "2009-01-23T20:04:11Z")
> [@](#): > > that night he had a super human burst of energy and managed to keep going for about **half an hour longer than normal** I feel horribly inadequate ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/8 "2009-01-23T20:07:51Z")
A boyfriend of mine once got my pants off, looked up at me in awe\*, and said, [“They should have sent a poet.”](http://www.flickr.com/photos/litmuse/158743657/) [sub]\*Okay, mock-awe, but it was still an ego-boost.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/9 "2009-01-23T20:10:33Z")
> [@JerseyFrank](#): > > I feel horribly inadequate Don’t worry. If I lasted thirty minutes longer than usual, it’d take about thirty three minutes. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/10 "2009-01-23T20:10:37Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > A boyfriend of mine once got my pants off, looked up at me in awe\*, and said, [“They should have sent a poet.”](http://www.flickr.com/photos/litmuse/158743657/) > > [sub]\*Okay, mock-awe, but it was still an ego-boost.[/sub] BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! teeheehee. Okay, that is the most hilariously awesome thing I’ve ever heard. :D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/11 "2009-01-23T20:12:26Z")
I Yabba Dabba Do’ed one time. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/12 "2009-01-23T20:23:22Z")
With my last girlfriend once we were well into it and I asked her “Who is your gladiator?” (The movie was popular at the time.) It was meant to be funny, but not funny enough to stop the proceedings (which it did.) ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/13 "2009-01-23T20:25:42Z")
Tooting my own horn I suppose buy once, at the end of a met-at-party-then-bed session (my first and only, BTW. These things just don’t happen in my world), I stirred out of the post-O daze, and deadpanned “That was nice. You can see yourself out now, can’t you ?”. Her positively horrified look was totally worth it, and the indignation led to even more sex anyway :). ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/14 "2009-01-23T20:35:20Z")
Said by me, just after we were done: “Confucious say, ‘Hory shit, you hawt!’” Said to me, during: “I want your seeds!” I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to get up and go into my kitchen. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/15 "2009-01-23T20:37:49Z")
Remember the Arsenio Hall show, how he used to have that one section of the audience that he would show on TV and give them some silly title, like People Who Buy Underwear at Goodwill? Well, one time, a boyfriend and I were going at it and apparently we were both listening to the TV, because when Arsenio introduced his crowd as People Who Giggle During Sex, it just destroyed the whole proceedings. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![slitterst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecc23a/32.png) [@slitterst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slitterst)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/16 "2009-01-23T20:52:06Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > Talk of babies is never sexy. Never say never. If your goal is pregnancy, it adds a little something to the bedroom, when you cast aside all those preventatives and precautions and start having sex for the reason it was created. But yes, on a third date, it would certainly be a turn-off. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/17 "2009-01-23T21:07:58Z")
For newbie reference (or anyone else who has a couple of hours to kill and hasn’t looked at it in a while), [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=24960) is the old classic thread where we did this the first time. Great stuff there. ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/18 "2009-01-23T21:17:28Z")
Said by date, lying in a provocative pose on my bed, back in the days when Microsoft still ran ad campaigns that made sense: “So, in the words of Bill Gates, where would you like to go today?” I’m ashamed to admit that I found that kinda hot. ---
**Author:** ![Influential\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/19 "2009-01-23T21:37:13Z")
The greatest exchange of my life occured the first night I slept with a girl who would then become my girlfriend for a few months. It was July 6, so a handful of neighbors still had leftover fireworks that they liked to shoot off late at night. We were in the middle of having sex, _this_ close to orgasmig when PEW! PEW! _CRACK_ She looked up at me, a bit confused, and asked, “were those fireworks?” I softened my expression, looked deeply into her eyes and in my best sweetheart voice cooed, “you heard it too?” She socked me in the chest and started laughing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676/20 "2009-01-23T22:20:29Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > With my last girlfriend once we were well into it and I asked her “Who is your gladiator?” (The movie was popular at the time.) > > It was meant to be funny, but not funny enough to stop the proceedings (which it did.) The worst part is I hear it in my head in that “Who’s a good dog?” voice. :smack: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-said-during-sex/482676.md?page=2)