# Funny things your parents say **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 7, 2004, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963 "2004-07-07T16:08:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/1 "2004-07-07T16:08:20Z")
I was telling my dad how my bf changed the serpentine belt on my car last week and my mom says, “I thought those were called the serendipity belt.” haha. Then she tried to say that she heard her mechanic call it that. She’s awesome. Another time she was emailing me and said something like, “Wouldn’t he need a jog strap for that?” Haha, she was talking about a jock strap. She’s only spacy sometimes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/2 "2004-07-07T17:30:57Z")
My mom insists on referring to my old friends from high school as my “posse.” Strangely, we’re all white, mostly Jewish, and have never had any pretensions to imitate black culture, then or now. I think she found out it was what “the kids” were saying about 15 years ago (when I was about 15) and it stuck. It always makes my eyeballs about roll out of my head when she says “have fun with your posse, honey.” ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/3 "2004-07-07T17:41:40Z")
Whenever I refer to anything I see on the news or the net, call it **Subject A** , my Father will say: > [@](#): > > Your @ss is a **Subject A**. He thinks it is funny, and clever. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/4 "2004-07-07T17:45:32Z")
Oh my mom is full of 'em. She’s Thai, been in the states for nigh on 30 years, but some colloquialisms just escape her (or she intentionally butchers them, but she denies this). One of her favorite phrases is “Jesus Christopher Columbus!” which never fails to crack me up. The other day, describing a short-cut to me, she said it came in very handy to avoid the “Round Robin Hood’s Nest” of an intersection nearby. Way to throw em all together, Ma. Then there’s the mangled pronunciations. I was going to South Africa earlier this year, and when I told her about the trip, we had this conversation: “Oooh, you know what I’ve always wanted from Africa? (Because to her, it’s all just one place)” “What’s that, Ma?” “Sa-vane’-yers.” (Phonetically) (Me, racking my “Momolisms” database, and comparing it to African-related themes) "Sayvayners? You mean… savannahs? (How am I going to fit _that_ in my suitcase? Does she want giraffe dung and a few blades of grass?) “No, not savannahs. Sa-vane’-yers. You know, like, from Africa. Jesus Christopher Columbus, how do I say it? Like a snow-globe maybe.” (A snow globe? From South Africa?) “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Mom.” “Sa-vane’-yers. Sa-VANE-yers. Things you buy for people on a trip because you feel guilty for leaving your poor mother behind!!” :smack: “SOUVENIERS, Mom, Soo-vuh-neers’” “Yeah, sa-vane’-yers.” :smack: What a Round Robin Hood’s Nest. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/5 "2004-07-07T18:39:50Z")
My parents were in the WWII generation, and when I was little I remember them using a lot of expressions which I’ve since recognized in novels that were set in their era. My mother was wont to say “Ye gods!”, and my father, would often say, “Well, hooray for so-and-so”, as a sarcastic dismissal. I find a few examples of these usages in one of my favorite novels, \*The Caine Mutiny \*. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/6 "2004-07-07T18:49:33Z")
Whenever my dad gets frustrated, annoyed or disgusted he’ll say, “hell’s fire!” My dad is the only person I have heard heard say “hell’s fire”. He also says making a mistake as “muffing it.” I can just hear him out in his workshop: “Ah, hell’s fire, I muffed it and cut this board too short!” ---
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/7 "2004-07-07T18:58:41Z")
“oh, good; if you’re that crampy now, you’re going to have an easy quick labor like I did” uh, no. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/8 "2004-07-07T19:08:43Z")
> [@dwc1970](#): > > Whenever my dad gets frustrated, annoyed or disgusted he’ll say, “hell’s fire!” My dad is the only person I have heard heard say “hell’s fire”. He also says making a mistake as “muffing it.” I can just hear him out in his workshop: “Ah, hell’s fire, I muffed it and cut this board too short!” My dad uses, “Shit fire!” ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/9 "2004-07-07T19:12:30Z")
My parents insist on calling my house my ‘digs.’ It bugs the hell out of me. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/10 "2004-07-07T21:17:12Z")
“We were the best parents we knew how to be to you kids,” usually makes me grin. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/11 "2004-07-07T21:33:31Z")
My old man, when comparing water unfavourably to spirits, would deadpan: “You shouldn’t _drink_ that stuff! Fish fuck in it.” I love to trot that one out from time to time. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/12 "2004-07-07T22:08:06Z")
I wish I could hear my mom say “Hot Cha!” one more time… ---
**Author:** ![Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilvert_s_Pagan)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/13 "2004-07-07T22:28:54Z")
My parents’ pet name for each other was “Blick”. They contended that it was short for “Blighter”, although both of them were born and raised in Cleveland. My sister and I though “blick” sounded like mice puking. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/14 "2004-07-07T23:13:14Z")
Just popping in to see if **elfbabe** has posted here. \ carry on ---
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2004, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/15 "2004-07-08T00:08:37Z")
This morning my mother asked me what station Paddington Bear was found in. It’s not the same as the rest of the thread, but I thought it should be immrotalised somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2004, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/16 "2004-07-08T00:24:22Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > Just popping in to see if **elfbabe** has posted here. > > \ > > carry on Ha, you’ve asked for it now! ---
**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2004, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/17 "2004-07-08T01:58:43Z")
My mom has a very hot temper, though she tried not to swear in front of us kids. One of her favorite swear-subsitutions, inevitably muttered through clenched teeth, is “God…_bless America_!” Usually, she couldn’t help herself, and this would be followed by, “Goddammit, the damn thing is broken again! Shit!” My dad calls me a sprout (meaning kid): “Well, you’re just a sprout, you wouldn’t know about that yet.” It’s sweet, but I’ve never heard anyone else use the expresssion. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2004, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/18 "2004-07-08T02:20:39Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > “You shouldn’t _drink_ that stuff! Fish fuck in it.” Man, that is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long, long time! I laughed so hard I hurt myself! I am going to spring that on my father-in-law next time I see him. I just _know_ it’ll reduce him to a quivering heap. I like your dad. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2004, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/19 "2004-07-08T05:19:59Z")
_“I never drink water. Fish fuck in it” is from W.C.Fields, but fun to hear your father say it, though. 🙂_ My mom used to say to me at the dinner table: “Now shut your mouth and eat your dinner”. ? ---
**Author:** ![Beauty\_Personified](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@Beauty\_Personified](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beauty_Personified)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2004, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963/20 "2004-07-08T05:25:58Z")
My father’s trademark “curse” is… _Holy cheese wax!_ I love that! 😃 And my mother’s pet name for my father is “Papa Smurf”. :rolleyes: 🙂 Anyhoo… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-things-your-parents-say/253963.md?page=2)