# Funny TV/Movie Lines That Took You Completely By Surprise **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 23, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086 "2005-09-23T17:10:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/21 "2005-09-23T19:38:02Z")
From [Circle](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0191037/), a highly underrated little caper movie: Eddie Izzard playing Troy, who is essentially a loan shark with a tendency to burst into song, in regards to Leo, the “hero” of the piece, who is being chased down the street by a very angry second thug: “He can’t kill him. _I’m_ gonna kill him.” ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/22 "2005-09-23T19:44:37Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > My mother once told this joke to a locksmith, and he was completely unamused. Mom was very upset. It’s my favorite line ever, surpassing ‘I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.’ ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/23 "2005-09-23T19:47:29Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > It’s my favorite line ever, surpassing ‘I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.’ Mom’s favorite is actually “Over Macho Grande?” 🙂 Whereas I like “Jimmy … do you like movies about gladiators?” ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/24 "2005-09-23T19:55:04Z")
There was a commercial for Lipton Brisk iced tea. It featured stop motion NY Yankees, including George Steinbrenner, Babe Ruth, and Billy Martin. Ruth is at bat looking hot and uncomfortable and Steinbrenner bellows " Martin, all he’s doing is sweating. I’m not sweating and I’m wearing a turtleneck. You’re fired!" Now Martin had been dead for several years, but I liked that Lipton had thrown in an old “Steinbrenner is always firing Billy Martin” joke, even though it wasn’t necessary for the commercial. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/25 "2005-09-23T20:01:10Z")
I get a chuckle out of the ad for the upcoming **Serenity** flick. During an argument over something or other, there is this exchange: hunky captain: Do you want to run this ship? irascible first mate: YES! hunky captain: (flustered) W-well…you can’t. (Mind you, I’m not one of those obsessive Joss-Whedon-can-do-no-wrong-and-the-“toad”-line-from-the-X-Men-was-all-Halle’s-fault fanatics. I watched “Firefly” once and wasn’t impressed. I’m not waiting with baited breath for the flick. But that little exchange tickled me.) ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/26 "2005-09-23T20:02:05Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#): > > Now Martin had been dead for several years, but I liked that Lipton had thrown in an old “Steinbrenner is always firing Billy Martin” joke, even though it wasn’t necessary for the commercial. Martin?!? What about the poor dead Bambino? I don’t think Lipton was the Babe’s first choice of a thirst quenching drink though. 😉 My contribution to the thread comes from “Cheers”. Someone mentioned the old question, "If a tree falls in a forest and no one’s there, does it make a sound? and Coach asked, “Well, if no one was there, how do you know it fell? Maybe some beavers set it down there.” ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/27 "2005-09-23T20:15:16Z")
From **Raising Arizona:** “Son, you gat a panty on your head.” ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/28 "2005-09-23T21:04:06Z")
“…so this one time in band camp…” ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/29 "2005-09-24T02:08:06Z")
From the ABC Disney Sat morn cartoon RECESS, the fashionista “Ashleys” are forcing tomboy Spinelli to join them- and in homage to the old 1930’s shocker film FREAKS, they chant “One of us…one of us”. AND LATER IN THE SAME EPISODE- they have Spinelli tied to a chair with her eyelids taped open, forcing her to watch “My Little Pony”. A TWO-PLAY FOR A DISNEY KIDS CARTOON- REFERENCING _FREAKS_ AND _A CLOCKWORK ORANGE_!!! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/30 "2005-09-24T02:42:17Z")
> [@Art Vandelay](#): > > I get a chuckle out of the ad for the upcoming **Serenity** flick. During an argument over something or other, there is this exchange: > > hunky captain: Do you want to run this ship? > > irascible first mate: YES! > > hunky captain: (flustered) W-well…you can’t. I came in here to mention that. Once I realized it was a Joss Whedon thing, it made perfect sense. But it was very funny. ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/31 "2005-09-24T02:59:11Z")
My two favorite “unexpected” moments didn’t have dialogue. The first was an ad and I don’t remember for what. Might have been beer. Anyway, the scene was a ship christening. Pretty girl swings bottle against ship and BAM! The whole ship disintegrates! The second was an episode of the old “Dave Allen At Large” show. English cop walking down the street notices car with windows rolled up. Inside is man in full scuba gear. Cop raps on window with nightstick. Diver rolls down window and out pours gallons of water! ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/32 "2005-09-24T03:14:56Z")
Speaking of _Firefly_… One word, from _The Train Job_, the first episode to air: “Darn.” ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/33 "2005-09-24T03:17:53Z")
From _Family Guy_ (and I hope I’m remember the quote correctly): **Tom Tucker** : “Up next…a pig that won’t eat _Jews_?” ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/34 "2005-09-24T03:31:36Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > A TWO-PLAY FOR A DISNEY KIDS CARTOON- REFERENCING _FREAKS_ AND _A CLOCKWORK ORANGE_!!! Many children’s cartoons poke fun at pop culture. But one of the funniest gags that caught me by surprise on a kids show was on a rather unfunny sketch comedy show that airs on Nickelodeon called _All That_. (It used to be funny back in the day, as I recall, but maybe that’s just young age. I dunno.) A sketch taking place at a birthday party opened with the kids at the party singing (to the tune of _For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow_) “For it’s a jolly good birthday! This song is public domain!” I wonder how many of the kids watching got that one. ---
**Author:** ![Vintage\_1957](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f04885/32.png) [@Vintage\_1957](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vintage_1957)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/35 "2005-09-24T04:13:03Z")
_ **The Young Ones** _ While Rick lays helpless, face down & spread eagle on the floor, Vivian gives him a vicious smack to the groin with a cricket bat. Rick: Ha! You missed both my legs! ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/36 "2005-09-24T04:14:53Z")
The frying pan scene in _Throw Momma From the Train_. “You lied to me!” CLUNK! ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/37 "2005-09-24T05:32:12Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > From the Files of Police Squad! > > Apartment Owner : “Who are you, and what are you doing here?” > Lt. Drebin : “I’m a locksmith. (beat) And I’m a locksmith.” > > Beauty. I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/38 "2005-09-24T05:43:12Z")
See, (the undercover) Drebin (at the locksmith’s shop, I believe) answered BOTH questions (“who are you” and “what are you doing here” with the SAME simple response. ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/39 "2005-09-24T07:10:26Z")
That should be, "Who are you, and _how did you get in here?"_ ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/40 "2005-09-24T07:19:05Z")
“Man, I am going to SHOOT you in the FACE!” - Asshole Cop Reservoir Dogs. “I feel like theives are breathing down my neck.” - some actress who I can’t remember (as he breathes down her neck) “Thieves aren’t breathing down your neck.” - Charles Grodin The Great Muppet Caper [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086.md?page=3)