# Funny TV/Movie Lines That Took You Completely By Surprise **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 23, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086 "2005-09-23T17:10:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/61 "2005-09-25T05:21:16Z")
No worries. I had a copy of the video (entitled “Flying Cop” in Japan), so it was fresh in my mind. Here’s another Doctor Who memory: _HARRY SULLIVAN IS AN IMBECILE!_ ---
**Author:** ![Gail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Gail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gail)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/62 "2005-09-25T05:30:17Z")
An episode of _Third Rock from the Sun_ where William Shatner (as the big giant head) was describing why he was late…he told a story about how he was on a plane and he saw a"monster" on the wing of the plane and how nobody would believe him…etc, etc. After he finished the story, John Lithgow exclaimed, “The same thing happened to me!” (Funny if you are Twilight Zone fan and you’ve seen the Twilight Zone Movie) ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/63 "2005-09-25T06:04:53Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > This is just a geeky thing, but in one of the last episodes of Lost’s first season, Michael is on the boat and he comes out to Jin, who’s assembling the rudder, and says “No, no, no! This one goes there, that one goes there!” and I could not help but laugh out loud! > > Why? > > Because it’s a quote from _The Empire Strikes Back_ when Han Solo is getting angry at Chewbacca trying to repair the Millennium Falcon. > > It’s not a funny line in and of itself, but when you know that it’s a deliberate steal, and such an obscure one to use, too, it makes it very funny! Oh, hey! I never made that connection. I always laughed at the line immediately following that, where Sawyer says, “Hey, if you and Chewy are done…” Now that I get the reference, it’s much funnier. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/64 "2005-09-25T06:08:42Z")
There was a British comedy-anthology show called **Murder Most Horrid**. Dawn French was in every episode, but it was always different characters and stories. (Had to be. People died. A lot. It was hysterical.) In one episode, Dawn plays a depressed, dowdy woman who accidentally interupts an assassin’s plot. She is forced to carry out the hit herself, infiltrating an office building with the streetwise, sexy assassin (Amanda Donahoe) giving her instructions by radio. She has to talk her way past the security guard at the front desk. ASSASSIN: It’s just a dumb security guard; all they really need is a blow job. Just ask him where the bathroom is. DAWN: (to guard) All you really need is a blow job. Where’s the bathroom? (guard points, DAWN starts walking that direction. The guard follows.) DAWN: (over the radio) What’s a blow job? ASSASSIN: You don’t know what a blow job is? DAWN: No, what is it? ASSASSIN: That’s oral stimulation of the genitals. DAWN: (amazed) Really!? (glances back over her shoulder, perplexed) You wouldn’t think he could reach. ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/65 "2005-09-25T06:34:03Z")
SNL recently played a re-run of Will Farrell hosting. They did their great Celebrity Jeopardy skit with Sean Connery of course. One of the categories was Japan US Relations. Sean Connery asked for Jap Anus Relations for $200! Gawd, I about choked to death! ---
**Author:** ![parthenokinesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/cc9497/32.png) [@parthenokinesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/parthenokinesis)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/66 "2005-09-25T09:08:50Z")
> [@Gail](#): > > An episode of _Third Rock from the Sun_ where William Shatner (as the big giant head) was describing why he was late…he told a story about how he was on a plane and he saw a"monster" on the wing of the plane and how nobody would believe him…etc, etc. After he finished the story, John Lithgow exclaimed, “The same thing happened to me!” (Funny if you are Twilight Zone fan and you’ve seen the Twilight Zone Movie) There were 2-3 other people watching this ep with me, and I was the only one who got the joke. I started laughing during Shatner’s line and just fell out with Lithgow’s reply. After I was able to get control I had to explain the joke, and just couldn’t do it justice. This ties with Mulder’s last line in “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space” as my favorite moment ever in television. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/67 "2005-09-25T14:27:34Z")
> [@parthenokinesis](#): > > There were 2-3 other people watching this ep with me, and I was the only one who got the joke. I started laughing during Shatner’s line and just fell out with Lithgow’s reply. After I was able to get control I had to explain the joke, and just couldn’t do it justice. This ties with Mulder’s last line in “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space” as my favorite moment ever in television. I don’t remember that one - please elaborate ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/68 "2005-09-25T15:14:50Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > I don’t remember that one - please elaborate See **Gail** ’s post above. I too remember losing it when watching that episode. 😃 My wife didn’t get it and I had to explain it to her (she’d seen the TZ episode, but not the movie). To recap for those who are in the dark: There is a classic Twilight Zone episode called Terror at 20,000 Feet. In it, a _very_ nervous (and, IIRC, just released from a sanitarium) William Shatner is going on a flight with his wife. Bill has a window seat. During the flight, he sees a monster on the wing of the plane, causing damage. He shows his wife the scene outside, but the monster is gone. When he looks again (without his wife), it’s there. He then calls over a flight attendant, but by the time she looks, the monster is gone again. The tension builds every time he looks out on the wing and sees the monster doing more and more damage. Finally, he steals a gun (shows how dated the show is) and shoots at it through the window. The plane lands, but he is sent away to a sanitarium again (since no one else saw the monster). They redid the episode later in the Twilight Zone movie with John Lithgow as the plane passenger. Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![flex727](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/258eb7/32.png) [@flex727](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flex727)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/69 "2005-09-25T15:24:44Z")
> [@zev\_steinhardt](#): > > See **Gail** ’s post above. > > I too remember losing it when watching that episode. 😃 My wife didn’t get it and I had to explain it to her (she’d seen the TZ episode, but not the movie). > > To recap for those who are in the dark: > > There is a classic Twilight Zone episode called Terror at 20,000 Feet. In it, a _very_ nervous (and, IIRC, just released from a sanitarium) William Shatner is going on a flight with his wife. Bill has a window seat. During the flight, he sees a monster on the wing of the plane, causing damage. He shows his wife the scene outside, but the monster is gone. When he looks again (without his wife), it’s there. He then calls over a flight attendant, but by the time she looks, the monster is gone again. The tension builds every time he looks out on the wing and sees the monster doing more and more damage. Finally, he steals a gun (shows how dated the show is) and shoots at it through the window. The plane lands, but he is sent away to a sanitarium again (since no one else saw the monster). > > They redid the episode later in the Twilight Zone movie with John Lithgow as the plane passenger. > > Zev Steinhardt And don’t forget As they’re leading Shatner away, the camera pans to the wing of the plane that just landed and we see that part of the aluminum skin is peeled up just as Shatner saw it before shooting. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/70 "2005-09-25T20:54:02Z")
Muppet Show, years later. Rolph The Dog singing bout cruelty to fruit. “I’ve even balled a melon…” … ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/71 "2005-09-25T20:54:08Z")
In the “War Stories” episode of _Firefly_, the crew of the Serenity goes to rescue Mal, who was kidnapped and tortured by Niska. Mal has since gotten free and is fighting the guy who had been torturing him. (Jayne aims his gun) Zoe: Wait, Jayne, this is something the captain needs to do for himself. Mal (offscreen): NO IT’S NOT!! Zoe: Oh. (She and Jayne fire at the torturer). Makes me laugh every time. 😃 Not a line, but I love the Season 7 episode of BtVS with Buffy, Spike and the rocket launcher outside the principal’s office. I must have replayed that scene 10 times. ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/72 "2005-09-25T21:00:28Z")
In the original _Justice League_ series, there was an episode in which Flash was bragging about getting to the scene of a disaster and dealing with the problem before emergency personnel arrived on the scene. Hawgirl (bored by Flash’s story): Wow, that’s fast. Flash: Hey, I’m the fastest man alive. Hawgirl: That’s probably why you can’t get a date. I must have giggled for a good five minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/73 "2005-09-25T22:53:54Z")
Prior to the airing of the Season 2 finale of _The O.C._, there was a rumor that the writers were bringing back a particularly loathsome Season 1 character named Oliver. Given that Oliver had been gone for about 35 episodes, it was kind of a long shot, but the fans were pretty unhappy. At one point during the finale, things are going particularly bad for the characters we like. The doorbell rings. And one character (Seth) says: “The way things have been going, I bet that’s Oliver.” CRACKED me UP. It was such an obvious shout-out to the rumor–Oliver was long gone and hadn’t even had a mention all season. Just too funny. ---
**Author:** ![ic8spots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4491bb/32.png) [@ic8spots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ic8spots)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2005, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/74 "2005-09-25T23:03:39Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > From **Raising Arizona:** > > “Son, you gat a panty on your head.” OMG, someone else remembers that line!! Back in the 90’s all the hiphop wannabees would have those stupid looking cut off pantyhose things on their head where I worked, but they all thought I was stupid when I quoted that to them. And don’t forget the followup: “Shut up and drive.” ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2005, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/75 "2005-09-26T00:17:59Z")
There was an old commercial for rolo’s, where a young boy is tormenting a baby elephant by teasing him with candy. Flash forward to present day, where grown u man is watching a circus parade, munching rolo’s. He recieves a tap on the shoulder by an elephant trunk, and turns round to be smashed in the face by said elephant. We could’nt let Dad watch this commercial, as the laughter got too much for him at times. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2005, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/76 "2005-09-26T00:32:38Z")
I saw a random episode of the original G.I. Joe cartoon several years ago. I watched it religiously when I was little and couldn’t resist seeing it again. The loose cannon Shipwreck hops into a little submarine/aircraft to dive after a bad-guy vessel. His communicator says, “The ship is probably covered in sediment.” “Sediment, my left barnacle,” Shipwreck replied. I got a good chuckle out of that. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/77 "2005-09-26T01:34:19Z")
> [@zev\_steinhardt](#): > > See **Gail** ’s post above. > > I too remember losing it when watching that episode. 😃 My wife didn’t get it and I had to explain it to her (she’d seen the TZ episode, but not the movie). > > To recap for those who are in the dark: > > There is a classic Twilight Zone episode called Terror at 20,000 Feet. In it, a _very_ nervous (and, IIRC, just released from a sanitarium) William Shatner is going on a flight with his wife. Bill has a window seat. During the flight, he sees a monster on the wing of the plane, causing damage. He shows his wife the scene outside, but the monster is gone. When he looks again (without his wife), it’s there. He then calls over a flight attendant, but by the time she looks, the monster is gone again. The tension builds every time he looks out on the wing and sees the monster doing more and more damage. Finally, he steals a gun (shows how dated the show is) and shoots at it through the window. The plane lands, but he is sent away to a sanitarium again (since no one else saw the monster). > > They redid the episode later in the Twilight Zone movie with John Lithgow as the plane passenger. > > Zev Steinhardt NONONO not the TZ refernce - I _got_ that and fell off my chair laughing I meant the X-Files refernce ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2005, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/78 "2005-09-26T01:38:00Z")
> [@ladybug](#): > > In the “War Stories” episode of _Firefly_, the crew of the Serenity goes to rescue Mal, who was kidnapped and tortured by Niska. Mal has since gotten free and is fighting the guy who had been torturing him. > > (Jayne aims his gun) > Zoe: Wait, Jayne, this is something the captain needs to do for himself. > Mal (offscreen): NO IT’S NOT!! > Zoe: Oh. (She and Jayne fire at the torturer). > > Makes me laugh every time. 😃 > > Not a line, but I love the Season 7 episode of BtVS with Buffy, Spike and the rocket launcher outside the principal’s office. I must have replayed that scene 10 times. how about anther season 7 scene - Spike’s chip is malfunctioning and Buffy picks up the receiver Spike: Who you gonna call? Buffy looks at him with “one of those” looks Spike: That phrase will never be useable again, will it? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/79 "2005-09-26T01:39:52Z")
> [@ladybug](#): > > In the original _Justice League_ series, there was an episode in which Flash was bragging about getting to the scene of a disaster and dealing with the problem before emergency personnel arrived on the scene. > > Hawgirl (bored by Flash’s story): Wow, that’s fast. > Flash: Hey, I’m the fastest man alive. > Hawgirl: That’s probably why you can’t get a date. > > I must have giggled for a good five minutes. I did too. Flash said something else a minute or two later that was even more deserving of comment. I think it was “hold on, lady, this’ll only take a minute.” ---
**Author:** ![parthenokinesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/cc9497/32.png) [@parthenokinesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/parthenokinesis)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2005, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086/80 "2005-09-26T04:01:51Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > NONONO not the TZ refernce - I _got_ that and fell off my chair laughing > I meant the X-Files refernce Sorry to have been deliberately vague in my previous post. Mulders line is How the hell should I know? which without the context of the entire episode is pretty meaningless. The ep “Jose Chung’s _From Outer Space_” is one of the few X-files episodes that really allowed itself to get silly/funny. Kind of like “The joke is out there” if you catch my meaning. Charles Nelson Reilly plays Jose Chung, who is interviewing Scully about the incident of two kids being abducted. Most of the story is told in flashback, there are many goofy characters, none of their memories are even remotely similar, and there are several plot twists deconstructing the whole alien abduction mythos. All in all one of my favorite television episodes of all time. I know I haven’t explained this well, but if you ever get a chance to see this ep, take it. Jack [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/funny-tv-movie-lines-that-took-you-completely-by-surprise/323086.md?page=5)