# Future Olympic events - a sporty MMP
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Tags:** mmp
**Created:** [July 30, 2012, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836 "2012-07-30T09:42:53Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/1 "2012-07-30T09:42:53Z")
Because I’m married to a crazy person, I’ve been hearing his ideas for new Olympic events - like combining trampoline and archery. Can’t see how that can fail… 😛
But I thought - why not? Let’s see what we can do to add some extra ZING to the competitions in 2016 and beyond and maybe make them more applicable to today’s society.
My suggestion - the Textathalon. Participants run, jump, throw, shoot, and swim, but between each leg of the event, they must post photos and a comment on Facebook. Points deducted for blurry pictures and overuse of smilies.
I also considered adding a parallel parking event, but that might be unfair to nations that don’t have many cars. On the other hand, we could get the automotive equivalent of the Jamaican bobsled team. 😃
Your turn! Bonus points if your suggestion requires cool gear!
Good morning, and Happy Monday!!!
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### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/2 "2012-07-30T09:54:16Z")
First! Back with a real reply soon.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/3 "2012-07-30T09:59:36Z")
Hah - that’s an event right there - being the one to post FIRST in a thread. 😛 Yeah, I know, it’s lame. About as lame as people who feel compelled to post FIRST in a thread. 😉
Glad your b-day was yesterday, so I can abuse you again today.
😃
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### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/4 "2012-07-30T10:02:25Z")
Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffienatin’. _YAWN_ ‘Tis 73 Amurrkin out with a predicted high of 95 for the day and isolated tstorms. Always isolated tstorms in the forecast this bein’ Summer. What would y’all do without the daily south Jawja weather forecast! 😃
I have long been a proponent of addin’ [43 Man Squamish](http://www.funtrivia.com/en/subtopics/43-Man-Squamish-Rules-and-Regulations-144555.html) as an Olympic sport. Although I think it should be renamed 43 _Person_ Squamish because I’m all about the PC. Who wouldn’t want to watch that!
Ok that’s all I got for now. I need more caffiene and rumbly tummy wants to be fed. Then, alas and alack, irk purtification must commence.
Happy Monday Y’all!
ETA: Yeah **MOOOOOOM** like my bday would stop you from abuse. 😛
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### Author:  [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/5 "2012-07-30T10:04:43Z")
Synchronized masturbation.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/6 "2012-07-30T10:17:05Z")
That’s almost as disturbing as the several warped suggestions my husband had involving badgers… :eek:
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### Author:  [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/7 "2012-07-30T10:25:02Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#):
>
> That’s almost as disturbing as the several warped suggestions my husband had involving badgers… :eek:
Only “almost”? Damn, I’ll have to try harder! 😛
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### Author:  [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/8 "2012-07-30T10:26:47Z")
Calvinball should be an Olympic sport. Also rocket luge.
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### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/9 "2012-07-30T10:36:22Z")
Blurf.
I spent time spiffifying the shed this weekend. The bonus was finding the box that was all the crap from my desk when I quit NASA. Lots of office toys, old papers and other detritus. I also found several gems that will be migrating to the current office over the course of this week. First batch is my Can of Whupass[sup]tm[/sup], my aluminum Pickett slide rule (paid a small fortune for it in 1978), and a yellow sign that says “Danger Men Thinking”.
Regarding future Olympic events, I’d love to see a team Ninja Death Match.
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### Author:  [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/10 "2012-07-30T10:47:21Z")
I came to suggest 43 Man Squamish, but I was beaten to the punch.
So, I’ll go with Poohsticks.
Or, on a slightly more serious note, Mixtec Pelota. It’s related to the ancient Maya variety, but it’s still played today. Basically, think big-scale volleyball where you punch the ball with a hard boxing-glove type thing.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/11 "2012-07-30T10:50:59Z")
\*\*BBBobbio \*\*- I used to have a sign that said “Working Engineer - Stand in Awe” but I got rid of it because once too often, someone stood at the entrance to my cubicle and went _“AWWWWWWWWW!!”_
\*\*JKellyMap \*\*- when you say big-scale, do you mean it’s on a large playing area, or involves lots of people, or both? Are there penalties for accidentally punching your teammates? I only ask because in the olden days when I tried to play volleyball, It seemed I was always being stepped on and run into. I grew to hate the game…
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### Author:  [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/12 "2012-07-30T11:16:23Z")
Ice Falling. Highest scores to worst flops. I’d medal!
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### Author:  [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/13 "2012-07-30T11:24:54Z")
Too early for being witty - can’t think.
Going crabbing with daughter.
Will be human in a few hours.
Might have gathered some wit by then.
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### Author:  [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/14 "2012-07-30T11:28:52Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#):
>
> Ice Falling. Highest scores to worst flops. I’d medal!
Or non-ice falling. I’d medal in that!
The Bubster has decided lately that it’s cool to wake up an hour before he’s supposed to go outside and start barking. When this happens not only does it wake me up, it also means that I’m the one that gets to take the dogs out.
In other news, I have lost over 9lbs in the past week. Worst diet ever.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/15 "2012-07-30T11:30:34Z")
On a non-silly note, what are the chances that paintball could be an Olympic sport? I’d have said laser tag, but I don’t think that’d translate well to TV. But paintball in a big field with lots of bright colors? TV gold!!
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### Author:  [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/16 "2012-07-30T11:33:11Z")
Oh, I just thought of one. A competition involving playing the olympic theme with your armpit, or maybe bottles of beer with varying amounts of beer in them.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/17 "2012-07-30T12:09:17Z")
Not an event, but a proposed team uniform - the fabric will be the flag of the individual country. It’s probably NSFW, so remove the space after the //
http:// [BALLS - Very Demotivational - Demotivational Posters | Very Demotivational | Funny Pictures | Funny Posters | Funny Meme](http://cheezburger.com/6456257024)
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### Author:  [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/18 "2012-07-30T12:25:24Z")
Oooh, ooh! Another idea for new Olympic competitions! Given the all-pervading problem of doping, why not embrace it instead? We could have…
\*\*\* 100 m. cocaine-snorting dash
- steroid-enhanced muscle showing\*\* (bonus points if the contestant actually _explodes_ mid- show; could lead to posthumous gold medals and all)
\*\*\* 400 m. meth relay
- free-style speedballing\*\* (extra points for every additional drug coursing through the athlete’s bloodstream; potential for posthumous medals as well!)
… Christ, I think I should have slept last night. Posting while sleep-deprived leads to weirdness.
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### Author:  [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/19 "2012-07-30T12:37:12Z")
Hmm… how about the only sport I’d be any good at- note forging from your Mam, saying you don’t have to do sports today- points given for imitation of handwriting, believability and drama of excuse 😃
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2012, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/future-olympic-events-a-sporty-mmp/629836/20 "2012-07-30T12:44:13Z")
Thanks everyone for your kind words last week. Know that it was a beautiful and moving service, a strong rememberance of a life well lived.
> [@FairyChatMom](#):
>
> Because I’m married to a crazy person, I’ve been hearing his ideas for new Olympic events - like combining trampoline and archery. Can’t see how that can fail…
This I like. I can also envision the discus having to be thrown from the balance beam.
Oh and HB, **Swampy**.
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