# FYI: A lady's corset provides minimal protection against a dildo attack. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2004, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896 "2004-07-13T14:51:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/61 "2004-07-15T19:24:52Z")
Pictures!! \ We MUST HAVE PICTURES!! please? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/62 "2004-07-15T20:31:43Z")
Ok I’m taking bets: How long before 18"DHIBJD makes its way into every new thread? How long before we are sick of it? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/63 "2004-07-16T03:38:36Z")
> [@](#): > > … the boning. It was very firm. I was impressed. Worth the price of admission alone. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/64 "2004-07-18T02:29:11Z")
Because I am proud of my handiwork on this particular piece, I will humor those who have requested pictures. Remember, this was a corset I made to wear under Medieval garb, so it’s not what one would expect to see in a Frederick’s catalog. It’s very plain-cotton and canvas. No lace, no see-through parts. It’s a utility garment. Still, though, I think it looks pretty [good](http://www.ipa.net/~naoutar/corset.jpg). It laces in the [back](http://www.ipa.net/~naoutar/corsetback.jpg), and the lacing [eyelets](http://www.ipa.net/~naoutar/corsetdetail.jpg) are hand sewn-no grommets! I am actually quite proud of this effort, and I’m now starting the dress to go over it. Mods- all these pictures are work safe. FB ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/65 "2004-07-18T03:01:59Z")
Kick ass. (And not _entirely_ utilitarian.) ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/66 "2004-07-18T05:42:12Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I comprehended the _lesson_ but, pray tell, what is the _moral_ of the 18 inch long, double headed, ice blue dong whack-a-corset story? Sounds kinda _immoral_ to me! Hey, isn’t jelly usually sort of flaccid? Umm? ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/67 "2004-07-18T06:11:07Z")
> [@zoogirl](#): > > Sounds kinda _immoral_ to me! > > Hey, isn’t jelly usually sort of flaccid? Umm? I beg your pardon \*all over \* the place!! I happen to be Quite Firm. [muttering]some people just go around spreading the most base stereotypes…[/muttering] ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mycroft\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_H)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/68 "2004-07-18T14:02:59Z")
> [@jellyblue](#): > > I’m really not very pleased with this thread. _Thank You!_ I really thought this thread could not get funnier, then I got to your comment. Wow, thank you one and all. I’m just glad to be reading this at home and not at work! (And **FaerieBeth** , great work on the corset! Regarding your photo, in SCA style, “Yes, the maiden is most comely.” - Meant as a compliment, not anything perverse.) One question related to the OP (sort of) – How long would a DHIBJD :eek: :eek: need to be to make a good trebuchet? ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/69 "2004-07-18T17:41:51Z")
Nice corset and way to go with the comliness(sp?) as well! I used to have a busty girlfriend who made corsets, man, I really miss those days. [/cover ass]although new girlfriend is perfection itself, obviousley[/ass covered] ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/70 "2004-07-18T18:22:22Z")
> [@Mycroft H.](#): > > Yes, the maiden is most comely. I’m pretty sure that possession of an 18"DHIBJD automatically upgrades a maiden to wench-class. ---
**Author:** ![Andros\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Andros\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andros_X)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/71 "2004-07-28T20:01:28Z")
Can’t…stop…laughing…_snerk_ Oh, and, uh, a very nice corset, Beth. ---
**Author:** ![sagitta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@sagitta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sagitta)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/72 "2004-12-05T15:06:45Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > I think dressing someone up in a corset and pulling out an 18 inch double headed jelly dong was what Marcellus Wallace was getting at when he said, “get medeival on his ass.” Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels explains how to really get Dark Ages on someone’s donkey: “So he grabs the nearest thing at hand, which just happens to be a 15-inch black rubber cock … and then … he proceeded to beat poor Smitty to death with it.” ---
**Author:** ![mike1dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@mike1dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mike1dog)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2004, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/73 "2004-12-05T15:36:24Z")
This may sound mean, but I wish you had broken a rib so I could hear a story about how you explained this to your doctor/insurance company. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2004, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/74 "2004-12-05T16:39:16Z")
Are the links broken now? I can’t see them. Oh, and L@@K!!! A ZOOOOOMMMBIE THREAD! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/75 "2006-04-28T02:16:37Z")
Does the zombie feast on the brains of at least one of the heads of the DHIBJD? ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/76 "2006-04-28T02:39:39Z")
If you were to go to the emergency room for treatment of dong-damaged ribs, and if you were still wearing your wife’s corset. What would you tell the nurse as to how you were injured? I think I would have to go with the truth. Let them believe what they like. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/77 "2006-04-28T02:47:59Z")
Damn it! You may _not_ resurrect 17-month old threads in which there are non-working links to a woman in a corset! Grrr grumble growl ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896/78 "2006-04-28T03:01:59Z")
> [@Paul in Saudi](#): > > If you were to go to the emergency room for treatment of dong-damaged ribs, and if you were still wearing your wife’s corset. What would you tell the nurse as to how you were injured? > > I think I would have to go with the truth. Let them believe what they like. Well, it wouldn’t matter at all. They wouldn’t believe it and they’d substitute it with whatever story they wanted. All the more reason to make up a really good one on the ride to the hospital so they’ll buy it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fyi-a-ladys-corset-provides-minimal-protection-against-a-dildo-attack/254896.md?page=3)