# Gabriela's rules for living forever **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2006, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217 "2006-04-11T11:54:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/21 "2006-04-11T14:42:25Z")
Eat occasionally. Every day is a good idea. But not too much. Pick your ancestors wisely. 50% of how long you live is in your DNA. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/22 "2006-04-11T14:45:16Z")
> [@What Exit](#): > > My brother did that once, just once, but he recovered fine. I’m sure we could find examples of people who have broken _most_ of these rules just once, but recovered fine. Doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/23 "2006-04-11T14:45:54Z")
> [@](#): > > #24b. Revolutions in plastic technology mean that you can buy very good eye protection at a reasonable price. Hearing protection is also very affordable. Basic safety techniques found in any woodworking book will show you how to avoid dangerous, or even fatal accidents. There’s no reason in the world that you should walk away from a power tool (or be dragged away) in a condition worse than when you started your work. I wish my granddad had followed these tips. ☹ #25 - Do not attempt to swallow a coin in a glass of beer. True, the trip to the emergency room will look funny in retrospect, but think of how you’d feel with “dyed in stupid prank” on your tombstone. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/24 "2006-04-11T15:02:50Z")
As long as we’re talking “shop”: if you notice that you forgot to push in the lock pin that locks the internal and external ring gears together, do not try to stab it into place with your fingertip as it rotates past. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/25 "2006-04-11T15:16:15Z")
When you take long walks in the woods, don’t decide to indiscriminately sample the possible epicurean delights of whatever wild mushrooms you happen to come across. If you want to learn about wild edible plants and fungi, get a good guidebook and pay close attention to the descriptions, diagrams, and photos in the text. Don’t think that just because a plant or mushroom looks pretty, that it’s good to eat. Be especially careful when hunting for morels. You’d be suprised at the number of people who manage to make this mistake. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/26 "2006-04-11T15:30:54Z")
- Wear a seatbelt every time you drive or are driven anywhere in a vehicle. I can think of at least three young people of my acquaintance that would still be alive had they buckled up. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/27 "2006-04-11T15:34:45Z")
If, after a long night of drinking in the city, you want to find something else to do, [don’t pick wandering around in the subway tunnels.](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_222b.html) ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/28 "2006-04-11T15:44:25Z")
> [@Happy Clam](#): > > I wish my granddad had followed these tips. ☹ > > #25 - Do not attempt to swallow a coin in a glass of beer. True, the trip to the emergency room will look funny in retrospect, but think of how you’d feel with “dyed in stupid prank” on your tombstone. Huh? I swallowed several quarters back in my college days. Never on purpose, but I never had any problems. I never noticed them come out though and recently I have wondered if I should get x-rayed to see if they are still in there. My rule is: If you live in the South, never never NEVER say “Hey y’all, watch this!” or “Hey, try to shoot this beer can off the top of my head”. ---
**Author:** ![GoKings57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/67e7ee/32.png) [@GoKings57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GoKings57)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/29 "2006-04-11T16:36:02Z")
- Don’t play Russian Roulette. - Don’t put any gun to your head and pull the trigger (blanks can kill you too. Just ask Jon-Erik Hexum - oh, wait, you can’t, he put a gun full of blanks to his head and pulled the trigger while on a movie set, and he’s dead). - Never look directly down the barrel of a gun, even if you’re cleaning it. - Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/30 "2006-04-11T16:46:16Z")
Don’t be a rapper or a drug dealer. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/31 "2006-04-11T17:12:01Z")
**gabriela** , I can appreciate #5 as a general rule, but would you mind elaborating on the particular “worrisome symptoms” that were involved in the case you’re thinking of? (From a family of worrisome symptom concealers, although they’re better than they used to be.) ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/32 "2006-04-11T17:14:33Z")
Don’t freebase Drano. Don’t slam your dick in a car door (or ANY door). It is NOT good to put a taser to your nuts (or your ass). [Not exactly WORK safe. No nudity, but it’s best watched when you can laugh at stupidity.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irODiWiywKY) Auto-erotic asphyxiation is almost always a Very Bad Idea (do it with a partner you trust, dammit). Don’t go near anything moving in Australia. Chances are that it is VERY poisonous and can kill you just by looking at you (okay, that’s embelishing the fact, but I want to keep the kids safe, dammit). Gimme my money when I ask for it, or else Butch and Rocco will have t rearrange your face, see. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/33 "2006-04-11T17:21:32Z")
When felling trees, always plan out your escape route. Even if it’s the simplest job, and tree clearly wants to go only one possible way, have a place to get away. Don’t take off your hard hat when looking up at a tree your are felling to see if the widowmakers branches are still up there. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/34 "2006-04-11T17:31:41Z")
Always, always, always stop at stop signs. Or stop lights. Even if you’re in a hurry. If you’re tired, please don’t drive at all. Accidents are expensive. Funerals cost even more. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/35 "2006-04-11T18:10:42Z")
> [@GoKings57](#): > > - Don’t play Russian Roulette. > > - Don’t put any gun to your head and pull the trigger (blanks can kill you too. Just ask Jon-Erik Hexum - oh, wait, you can’t, he put a gun full of blanks to his head and pulled the trigger while on a movie set, and he’s dead). > > - Never look directly down the barrel of a gun, even if you’re cleaning it. > > - Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight. I’m going to start using “don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.” Don’t put a gun to your head and pull the trigger, even if you have been assured that there’s no bullets in it. I lost a good friend that way. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/36 "2006-04-11T19:07:14Z")
When your drunk and your trying to get into your buddies (soon to be a dick ) car and he’s jerking forward everytime you try to get in , just say "Fuck It " and walk . Surprising how many of these involve alchohol … hmmmmmm ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/37 "2006-04-11T19:07:39Z")
What are we up, now? #37: If the procedure says, when pulling the rods from the reactor, not to exceed X inches - **Do not yank the rod N[sup].[/sup]X inches**. (Where N is any integer greater than one.) #37 (a): Following this rule will also help keep your remains out of a lead-lined coffin. #38: Do not argue right-of-way with the American warship. Even if it is your home port and they’re just visiting. Sure, the survivors of the crew got a new fishing boat, but… #39: Verify that nuts and bolts used on 800# steam lines are not bronze, by checking with a magnet. Bronze does not hold things in place when 600 F steam is going through the pipe. #39 (a): Don’t operate any steam plants where it cannot be proven that Rule #39 was followed. (RIP _Iwo Jima_ engineers.) #40: When preparing to work on electrical systems - check power has been secured to the system by using a multi-meter, and doing a live-dead-live check. (Check the function of the multi-meter on a known live circuit, verify that the dead circuit is dead, then verify that the multi-meter is still working on a known live circuit.) ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/38 "2006-04-11T19:33:09Z")
#41. Do not get involved in drug deals with lunatics who also have a sword collection. (real event) (woohoo, I get to do 42!!!) #42. As this is the answer, do not attempt to learn the question as we all know, that will cause the universe to implode. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/39 "2006-04-11T19:38:09Z")
#43. If you’re not a swimmer, don’t venture into any water whose depth is unknown or cannot be determined beforehand. Just because the water _looks_ calm doesn’t mean it is. All it takes is a mild current to carry you away from the safety of the shore. If you must do this, for God’s sake, wear a life preserver! I know this from experience. I owe my life to the family who was nice enough to toss me a lifeline as I nearly drowned. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2006, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217/40 "2006-04-11T20:21:15Z")
> [@gabriela](#): > > \*\*Gabriela’s rules for living forever \*\* > > Or, at least, not dying prematurely. Oh, good. I was afraid Alex Chiu would be involved somewhere. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gabrielas-rules-for-living-forever/352217.md?page=3)