# Gaga's new 'Telephone' video- "I told you she didn't have a dick." **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 12, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292 "2010-03-12T20:44:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/81 "2010-03-16T04:00:51Z")
Here’s a cover by [Pomplamoose](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vEStDd6HVY) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/82 "2010-03-16T05:52:17Z")
I love how Fox News thinks that the only part of the video “clean” enough to show is the part where she’s surrounded by her mass-murder victims. Because, say, showing her in the kitchen wearing a funny hat, or just sitting around in the prison courtyard, would be so corrupting to youth. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/83 "2010-03-16T06:19:55Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > [Fox News thinks of the children.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kud17cXaajo&feature=player_embedded) Bless them. SHE’S BASICALLY IN A BIKINI FERGAWDS SAKE. Oh my, that is one of the funniest clips I’ve seen in a long time. I have one question. How did the one lady think Telephone was contemplating cutting off Gaga’s putative penis? EDIT: NO! The man next-door who may be a sexual predator may see it? Seriously is this woman an idiot? ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/84 "2010-03-16T06:49:18Z")
85% of sexual predators use pornography, therefore Lady Gaga videos should be illegal. Makes sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/85 "2010-03-16T06:59:37Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > In fact, I’d go so far as to say that Telephone is the weakest track on the Fame Monster by far. I disagree. It’s not really anything special, but it’s catchy and listenable. That doesn’t hold for Teeth, which is the only song on the album I consistently skip. (Of course, I don’t listen to the whole album a whole lot.) Interesting video. Weird in a way that’s fairly unusual for Gaga. As to the Fox News clip…it’s Fox News…that they’re making a big deal out of this tells me nothing other than that Lady Gaga’s big enough that they can use her to get ratings. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/86 "2010-03-16T07:02:11Z")
Yeah, it’s so silly that she’s singing about things like wishing her cellphone would stop ringing and how she just wants to dance. Music was so much better back when people sang about meter maids and tripping on acid. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/87 "2010-03-16T07:40:19Z")
I just noticed that the thread title refers to her as simply “Gaga,” and IIRC Beyonce calls her this in the video, too. Is this the first step onto the nickname treadmill with Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Puffy/Sean “Puffy” Combs/Diddy? ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/88 "2010-03-16T07:41:46Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Er. Link? He’s not talking about Gaga - the dancer on the extreme left (with the red hair) when she’s dancing down the corridor in front of the cells, just before the bit where she’s wrapped in police tape, has that tat. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/89 "2010-03-16T08:26:44Z")
I LOVE this video! Hadn’t seen it until now! ---
**Author:** ![halfliquid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e57/32.png) [@halfliquid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/halfliquid)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/90 "2010-03-17T09:20:17Z")
I remember seeing Lady Gaga ‘singing’ on TV a while back–I think it was some daytime talk show. I remember I thought “What a talentless mess.” Then I came across this topic, watched the video, and thought, “That was mostly fun.” So I go out and buy her two albums. I wasted twenty dollars. Elements of Tina Turner, Madonna, George Michael, Abba, etc. but with gross and completely pointless lyrics. I can honestly say that I think this person is a psychotic, talentless mess. ---
**Author:** ![GreatStuffMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f04885/32.png) [@GreatStuffMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreatStuffMan)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/91 "2010-03-17T12:05:59Z")
Ehm… no thanks. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/92 "2010-03-17T14:56:32Z")
> [@halfliquid](#): > > So I go out and buy her two albums. I wasted twenty dollars. Elements of Tina Turner, Madonna, George Michael, Abba, etc. but with gross and completely pointless lyrics. I can honestly say that I think this person is a psychotic, talentless mess. Gross lyrics? Psychotic? Talentless? Alrighty. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/93 "2010-03-17T15:02:06Z")
> [@halfliquid](#): > > Elements of Tina Turner, Madonna, George Michael, Abba, etc. but with gross and completely pointless lyrics. This is hilarious. “It’s like Madonna or George Michael…except with pointless lyrics!” Ah yes, if only Lady Gaga’s lyrics could rise to the timeless poetry of “Monkey” or “Justify My Love.” ---
**Author:** ![halfliquid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e57/32.png) [@halfliquid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/halfliquid)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/94 "2010-03-17T15:51:37Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Gross lyrics? Psychotic? Talentless? > > Alrighty. Hey, just because you put Pepsi cans in her hair… ---
**Author:** ![halfliquid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e57/32.png) [@halfliquid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/halfliquid)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/95 "2010-03-17T15:55:52Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > This is hilarious. “It’s like Madonna or George Michael…except with pointless lyrics!” Ah yes, if only Lady Gaga’s lyrics could rise to the timeless poetry of “Monkey” or “Justify My Love.” I didn’t like Madonna or George Michael either. I remember when their lyrics were considered shallow and pointless. How much further can it sink? Is 2010 the year of the 80’s remake? Movies, music, clothes. Are really big cell phones going to reappear? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/96 "2010-03-17T15:56:46Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > This is hilarious. “It’s like Madonna or George Michael…except with pointless lyrics!” Ah yes, if only Lady Gaga’s lyrics could rise to the timeless poetry of “Monkey” or “Justify My Love.” Cause we’re livin’ in a material world. . . 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/97 "2010-03-17T16:00:54Z")
> [@halfliquid](#): > > I didn’t like Madonna or George Michael either. I remember when their lyrics were considered shallow and pointless. How much further can it sink? [Give “Speechless” a shot](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7HvURBhMGE)- it’s a great song she wrote when her father refused to get heart surgery to save his life. My favorite line from the song: > [@](#): > > Some men may follow me > But you choose “death and company” > Why you so speechless? Then again, if you’ve listened to the entire Fame Monster, you’ve probably heard the song. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/98 "2010-03-17T16:08:14Z")
The whole “writing incredibly shallow music to make fun of incredibly shallow music” thing puts her on shaky ground. First of all, while I assume that’s probably what she’s doing, by no means am I 100% convinced of it. Plenty of pop stars have fooled us into thinking they were something more than what they were before. See Whitney Houston, who for years was thought to be the pinnacle of class. Or Tiger Woods, who was thought to be a devoted family man. Secondly, it’s not like it’s really profound or original. Thirdly, it’s always problematic when you engage in the criticized in order to participate in criticism. Is she making fun of vapid songs? Let’s assume yes. Is she producing vapid songs? YES. Do 99.99% of her fans know the difference? NO. Is she making fun of product placement? Let’s assume yes. Is she getting pizaid for placing products? Almost certainly. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/99 "2010-03-17T16:13:54Z")
I suppose my position is this: even if it is shallow pop music, _what’s wrong with that?_ Maybe I’m weird, but sometimes I _want_ to listen to shallow music. Sometimes you just want to turn your brain off and bounce around to a fun beat and catchy harmony. Not everybody can be Bob Dylan, but more importantly: not everybody should be Bob Dylan. There’s a niche for a wide range of music and enjoying “shallow” music doesn’t preclude someone from being touched by a deeper song. Edit to add: a lot of the Gaga songs remind me of Prince songs- on the surface, they seem shallow and almost nonsensical, but there are double meanings behind each one, often well hidden with in the song. Sure, most of the hidden stuff is about sex, but that’s neither here nor there 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292/100 "2010-03-17T16:22:06Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I suppose my position is this: even if it is shallow pop music, _what’s wrong with that?_ > > Maybe I’m weird, but sometimes I _want_ to listen to shallow music. Sometimes you just want to turn your brain off and bounce around to a fun beat and catchy harmony. It’s all a matter of personal taste, but for me, shallow music is what I’d listen to once I heard all the more complex music in the world, which I think would take a few lifetimes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gagas-new-telephone-video-i-told-you-she-didnt-have-a-dick/532292.md?page=6)