# gaining weight **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 20, 2002, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113 "2002-06-20T18:58:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/1 "2002-06-20T18:58:51Z")
I am probably one of the few on here who buys book and looks at calorie contents to try and gain. I believe the 20 oz. vanilla malt at Dairy Queen is 2,000 calories. Excellent! I was in the grocery store yesterday and saw a pie. Chocolate silk by Marie Callendar, I think… the whole pie was one pound of calories: 3,500 I believe. Sounds good! I’m gonna get it and eat it all! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/2 "2002-06-20T19:08:13Z")
Ya want 25 pounds offa me? Here—take 15 from my waistline, and ten from my arms and under my chin. (Goddam metabolism. And damn gravity, too.) ---
**Author:** ![WV\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@WV\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WV_Woman)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/3 "2002-06-20T19:09:51Z")
Gaining weight is easy. Gather all your friends and family and tell them “I am going to lose 25 pounds by Labor Day.” I guarantee you will gain 25 pounds and then some by then. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/4 "2002-06-20T19:12:14Z")
Eve, i am 5’11" and 125 lbs! I’ll gladly take 25 pounds from ya. I’m not one of those famous stars who imagine they look good skinny! not that theres anything wrong with that but heck. Of course, now everybody will avoid this pie in the stores…hee hee ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/5 "2002-06-20T19:19:51Z")
I would like to pack on 15 or 20 pounds, butI dont think Twinkies is the way to go. I’m trying to stuff my face with rice, steak, steak, and some steak on the side. ---
**Author:** ![WV\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@WV\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WV_Woman)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/6 "2002-06-20T20:25:46Z")
Steak has no carbohydrates, thus it’s gonna go right up the flue. You want starch, lots of it. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/7 "2002-06-20T20:31:49Z")
Those who are looking for a high calorie diet need only look as far as coconut. A can of coconut milk has some outrageously high calorie count, not sure exactly what but for some reason I want to say “10,000”. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/8 "2002-06-20T20:37:00Z")
Oh, and **World Eater** , the Atkins Diet is for people who want to _lose_ weigt! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/9 "2002-06-20T20:37:35Z")
Or, you can just wait till you hit 35 or so and your metabolism hits a brick wall and skids to a halt. Worked for me! ---
**Author:** ![Regina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d78d45/32.png) [@Regina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regina)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/10 "2002-06-20T20:42:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by WV\_Woman \* > **Steak has no carbohydrates, thus it’s gonna go right up the flue. You want starch, lots of it.** **What** are you talking about? Trying to gain or trying to lose, you should still eat a variety of foods just like in the [Great Food Pyramid](http://www.eatright.org/fgp.html), more calories if you’re trying to gain and less if you’re trying to lose. If you’re trying to gain, eat all the steak you want, just mix in some grains, fruits and vegetables to keep your diet balanced. Also drink one or two Ensure or one of those type drinks; they have lots of calories as well as vitamins and all that. I would _not_ advise these drinks as “healthy snacks” if you’re trying to lose. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/11 "2002-06-20T21:04:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*Eve, i am 5’11" and 125 lbs! > I’ll gladly take 25 pounds from ya. I’m not one of those famous stars who imagine they look good skinny! > not that theres anything wrong with that but heck. > Of course, now everybody will avoid this pie in the stores…hee hee \*\* Hey! I’m 5’11" and 127 pounds! That’s neat 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/12 "2002-06-20T22:41:16Z")
Heh… y’all can take some weight from me. Oh, at least 20 pounds or more, even. I won’t miss it, and you’re welcome to it. F\_X ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/13 "2002-06-20T23:22:41Z")
I’m 5’9" and 114 lbs (with my shoes on…)!! … and I’m a guy! Similar to what was mentioned by **AlaItalia** , I’ve always heard that if you really want to gain weight, another good idea is to drink Slimfast shakes in addition to eating regular meals. I mean, they’re supposed to take the place of a full meal, so drinking one in addition to a meal should do somethin’. I have yet to take my own advice, although I’d like to gain some serious weight. I just don’t have much of an appetite. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/14 "2002-06-21T00:09:46Z")
No, no, no, **interface2x** , appetite has nothing to do with it. The best way to gain weight is to eat food you like and ignore those pesky signals from your brain that tell you you’re full. Think of eating as a competitive sport. Unless you have an ourtrageously high metabolism, that ought to do it. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/15 "2002-06-21T03:47:58Z")
This is just depressing. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/16 "2002-06-21T10:32:24Z")
**Vanilla** , I will be your personal weight gain trainer. I will put 25 lbs on you in no time. The key to weight gain is, of course, french fries. You will need them at every meal. (at breakfast you can substitute hash browns). Potato chips must be consumed between meals, as must Pop-Tarts. You must be on a first name basis with the counter help at Burger King, MacDonalds, Carl’s Jr and Jack in the box. (mmmmmm ultimate cheeseburger…) Before bed, you will have to consume something sugary. Cereal is good(Capt’n Crunch), Ho Ho’s are better. Diet is only half the battle. There is also exercise. You will need to eliminate it. Invest in a subscription to TV Guide. You must watch an episode of _Friends_ and _Law and Order_ at least once a day. Never walk anywhere, and avoid sunlight whenever possible. Wear loose fitting clothes. Thatwill help. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/17 "2002-06-21T17:24:23Z")
Eve: i am 43 years old. It would’ve kickin in by now… spooje: Nope. All my life, I’ve eaten potato chips and pop. Also, for at least 20 years, I’ve eaten chocolate cake (without icing) before bed. nada. Bananas seemed to help, and were affordable, but then i couldn’t look at one for a while… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Wrong_Girl)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/18 "2002-06-21T17:29:44Z")
French fries. French fries with ranch dressing. 3 times a week. In a few months you’ll have gained 20 pounds, won’t recognize yourself in a mirror, and you’ll hate yourself and cry because you gained weight and you want to be thin again. Oh wait. That’s me. 🙂 Anyway, good luck with gaining weight. The grass really is greener, eh? ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/19 "2002-06-21T17:37:19Z")
I can’t believe that this quote is actually on-topic. > [@](#): > > **Dr. Nick:** Hi everybody! > **Homer+Bart:** Hi Doctor Nick! > **Nick:** Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology. > **Homer:** [_pensive_] Of course. > **Nick:** [_points to a chart_] You’ll want to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic! > **Homer:** What can I do to speed the whole thing up, Doctor? > **Nick:** Well…be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use poptarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon, heh… > **Bart:** You could brush your teeth with milkshakes! > **Dr. Nick:** Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too? And remember, if you’re not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it’s your window to weight gain. Bye bye, everybody! ---
**Author:** ![dublos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2002, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113/20 "2002-06-21T19:00:31Z")
Vanilla, Have you tried weight training? I got to college at 6’, 145 lbs and had absolutely never been able to gain weight. So… I enrolled in a weight training course. Finally put about 20 lbs on me. Of course then I got married to a great cook in my mid 20s (at which point I was still about 165) my metabolism slowed down a little bit and now I’m hangin comfortably around 185. -Doug [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gaining-weight/115113.md?page=2)