# Game: Good News/Bad News **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [August 31, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126 "2010-08-31T13:43:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/241 "2010-10-05T12:43:29Z")
The bad news: Your crabs infestation is a new species and will be named after you. The good news: Your name is Aw Yeah Baby I Just Fucked Angelina Jolie, Junior. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/242 "2010-10-05T13:09:53Z")
The Bad News: DNA testing reveals your genetic father is Jon Voight. You have to changed your name to Ah Yeah Baby I just Fucked My Half-Sister Angelina Jolie, Junior. The Good News: Ossam Bin Laden defomote;u has been slowly tortured to death. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/243 "2010-10-05T14:06:46Z")
The bad news: You have no idea who “Ossam Bin Laden” is, or what “defomote;u” means. The good news: You just got a crisp new copy of _The Dictionary of the Internet_. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/244 "2010-10-05T14:20:49Z")
The bad news: Your typing is so bad you totally and permanently destroy the entire Internet. The good news (let’s try this again): Osama bin Laden has been declared officially and definitely DEAD. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/245 "2010-10-05T15:22:21Z")
The bad news: the declaration came from the _National Enquirer_. The good news: unemployment is down 2%. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/246 "2010-10-05T15:26:54Z")
The bad news: You were the one person in the U.S. to lose his job in the entire quarter. The good news: You really, really hated your old job. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/247 "2010-10-05T22:46:39Z")
TBN: The company was purchased by Google right after you left and the stock options are now worth 100X what they used to be. TGN: At your new job, you’re surrounded by hot, single coworkers. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/248 "2010-10-05T22:50:30Z")
Bad news:They prefer the opposite “plumbing” Good news:You see your HS crush in Playboy/girl ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/249 "2010-10-06T02:18:08Z")
The bad news: In her “turn-ons,” she describes a guy exactly as you were in high school, but in her “turn-offs,” she describes you exactly as you are now. The good news: You develop the power of mind control and can make others do exactly what you want. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/250 "2010-10-06T06:30:36Z")
TBN: Your power requires the consumption of Monk’s Food, monkey poop, balut, newt eyes, Blue Mountain Oysters, and Dominoes Pizza. TGN: Balut is on sale this week. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/251 "2010-10-06T06:52:57Z")
TBN: Balut is on sale this week. TGN: Your quarterly bonus for Q3 will be bigger than expected. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/252 "2010-10-06T07:06:00Z")
Seriously? I was going to answer that myself just to disqualify those. TBN: Your skills at this game stink. TGN: They still stink. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/253 "2010-10-06T13:27:47Z")
The bad news: You still feel compelled to keep playing. The good news: A genie gives you long life, excellent health and vast wealth. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/254 "2010-10-06T15:27:22Z")
The bad news: everyone knows genies don’t exist. The good news: Sports Illustrated has asked you to shoot the photos for the swimsuit edition. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/255 "2010-10-06T15:33:28Z")
TBN: It’s their “Ugly Gays and Lesbians” Swimsuit Edition. TGN: Someone bombed the Westboro Baptist Church ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/256 "2010-10-06T15:38:12Z")
The bad news: the insurance payout will fund their activities for another seventy years. The good news: that show you hate got canceled. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/257 "2010-10-06T16:01:50Z")
The bad news: They’re making a big-budget movie of it! The good news: You pee fine wine and make a fortune by bottling it. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/258 "2010-10-06T16:17:04Z")
The bad news: you are subjected to random urine testing for alcohol and drugs at work. The good news: you found a suitcase full of cash. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/259 "2010-10-06T16:34:34Z")
The Bad news: The suitcase and you are in the belly of a blue whale. The good news: You have some matches and some dry wood, so you can start a fire. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/260 "2010-10-06T18:08:44Z")
The bad news: You’re in the middle of a fireworks factory. The good news: You have a song in the Top 40 and have been asked to go on tour. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126.md?page=14)