# Game: Good News/Bad News **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [August 31, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126 "2010-08-31T13:43:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/261 "2010-10-06T18:14:23Z")
The bad news: Your opening act is Carrot Top. The good news: Someone is using your songs in a Broadway musical, and you will be making tons of money in [Grand rights.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_rights) ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/262 "2010-10-06T18:38:15Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > The good news: Someone is using your songs in a Broadway musical, and you will be making tons of money in [Grand rights.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_rights) the Bad news: your song “God raped my Dog” has lead a to death Fatwa issued against you by the spiritual leaders of all major religions The Good news: you have united all major religions ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/263 "2010-10-06T18:40:38Z")
The bad news: you have united them in a five-way holy war. The good news: your child just graduated from med school. ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/264 "2010-10-06T18:47:14Z")
The bad new: The Antigua School of Medicine and Sheep Shearing actually does rank their students academically. The good news: The stock market is up. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/265 "2010-10-06T18:49:54Z")
The bad news: it’s up on news that the NYSE is being outsourced to China. The good news: you love Chinese food. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/266 "2010-10-06T23:49:06Z")
The bad news: You’re allergic to MSG. And rice. The good news: The fall colors are lovely this year. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/267 "2010-10-07T04:11:26Z")
TBN: Ninjas came to torture you for inside trader information about your company, taking both your eyeballs. TGN: Your insurance covers ninja torture. \*Seriously, can people think for like 2 seconds before posting in this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/268 "2010-10-07T11:29:29Z")
Tbn: You’re already at your lifetime limit for ninja torture. Tgn: You’re into S&M. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/269 "2010-10-07T12:53:59Z")
The bad news: Seeing your arousal, the ninjas back off and leave you alone. The good news: You’re able to escape! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/270 "2010-10-07T14:03:31Z")
The bad news: you’re able to escape by jumping for a 30th-floor window. The good news: You fall 30 stories and only break your legs. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/271 "2010-10-07T14:15:43Z")
The bad news: A pack of dingos, drawn by the scent of your blood, comes running. The good news: You have a shotgun and a bagful of ammo. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/272 "2010-10-07T14:57:32Z")
the bad news: It’s a .22 shotgun and a bag full of .45 ammo. the good news: the dingos get distracted by the scent of a baby ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/273 "2010-10-07T15:17:50Z")
The bad news: Then they see Julia Louis-Dreyfus and lunge for her. The good news: Jerry Seinfeld is nearby, and has the proper ammo for your shotgun. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/274 "2010-10-07T15:26:57Z")
TBN: Being Jerry Seinfeld, he has to deliver a 30 minute boring monologue before giving you the damn bullets. TGN: The boring monlogue puts the dingos to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/275 "2010-10-07T17:24:45Z")
The bad news: When they wake up, they’re even snarlier. The good news: By then, you, Jerry and Julia have gone to Monk’s for coffee, being careful to obscure your tracks and scent so that the dingos can’t track you down. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/276 "2010-10-08T00:44:13Z")
TBN: At Monk’s, you find that George has become a zombie and Kramer has been infected with lycanthropy and their fight over the last bagel infects the entire cafe and turns everyone into zombie werewolves. TGN: As a zombie werewolf, the dingos make you the leader of the pack. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/277 "2010-10-08T20:58:06Z")
The bad news: You just can’t get that old bubblegum rock song “The Leader of the Pack” out of your head. The good news: Zombie werewolf hunters blow your head clear off. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/278 "2010-10-08T21:22:12Z")
TBN: Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop zombie werewolves, it merely turns them into headless vampires. TGN: Your life story is now a best-selling book about sexy, headless vampires aimed at teenage girls with a low tolerance for grammar errors. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/279 "2010-10-11T02:37:36Z")
The bad news: There are so few teenage girls with a low tolerance for grammar errors that the publisher won’t print a sequel. The good news: David Fincher wants to direct the movie based on your book. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/280 "2010-10-12T14:20:05Z")
The bad news: Fincher’s screenplay resembles your book about as much as a skateboard resembles a Lamborghini. And he casts his _amour de jour_ as the leading lady–ugly and she has no screen acting talent whatsoever. The good news: The movie is a surpirsing camp hit, playing at midnight in theatres everywhere! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126.md?page=15)