# Game: Good News/Bad News **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [August 31, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126 "2010-08-31T13:43:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/121 "2010-09-16T16:47:32Z")
The bad news: We all know how accurate weather forecasts are! On the other hand, a monsoon _does_ make for a memorable wedding. The good news: You develop the ability to think yourself into an orgasm. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/122 "2010-09-16T16:55:26Z")
The bad news: you haven’t yet developed the ability to think yourself back to normal. The good news: you build a better mousetrap. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/123 "2010-09-16T17:05:42Z")
The bad news : you neglected to patent it. Big Rat Extermination, however, did not. Thanks for the free money, sucker. The good news : AIDS ? Gone. For good. ---
**Author:** ![Rafe\_Hollister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Rafe\_Hollister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rafe_Hollister)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/124 "2010-09-16T17:10:24Z")
TBN: It’s cured by the ebola virus. TGN: Your secretary just got breast implants and can’t wait to show them to you. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/125 "2010-09-16T17:20:27Z")
> [@Rafe\_Hollister](#): > > TBN: It’s cured by the ebola virus. > TGN: Your secretary just got breast implants and can’t wait to show them to you. The bad news: Your secretary is a 80 year old man. The good news is you foiled a jewlery store robbery when the thief ran into you while trying to escape. ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/126 "2010-09-16T17:48:52Z")
The bad news: The security cam video of you tripping over your own feet is all over youtube and featured on America’s Dumbest Criminals The good news: You’ve found a pirate treasure map behind an old picture frame in your attic ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/127 "2010-09-16T17:54:44Z")
The bad news: The treasure is located under the remains of the World Trade Center. Good luck getting to it. The good news: You are going to be a grandparent! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/128 "2010-09-16T18:06:53Z")
The bad news: The mom, your daughter, is a convicted murder and asks you to raise her quadruplets for the next 18 years, because “Prison ain’t no place for no kids nohow.” The good news: You have perfect pitch. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/129 "2010-09-16T18:18:54Z")
The bad news: And no rhythm. The good news: A very hot lady just texted you a naked picture of herself… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/130 "2010-09-16T18:21:28Z")
The bad news: It’s your sister-in-law, and your wife is murderously jealous. The good news: Through wise investments, your retirement is going to be very well-funded. ---
**Author:** ![Caveat\_lector\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@Caveat\_lector\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caveat_lector_1)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/131 "2010-09-16T18:41:18Z")
The bad news: you were just given six months to live The good news: you have gained the ability to uncancel one TV show of your choice. The show can be from any time and will be guaranteed two seasons. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/132 "2010-09-16T18:51:30Z")
> [@Caveat\_lector\_1](#): > > The good news: you have gained the ability to uncancel one TV show of your choice. The show can be from any time and will be guaranteed two seasons. The bad news: It will star Billy Ray Cyrus and will show only in Arabic, with Ethiopian subtitles. The good news: You have discovered how to make the perfect pepperoni pizza, with _no calories_! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/133 "2010-09-16T19:05:38Z")
The bad news is also causes your body to negate the calories in all food. Permanently. The Good News: You have just won a million dollar designer wardrope. ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/134 "2010-09-16T19:51:56Z")
The bad news - The godless liberals want you to give it back The good news - That bolt you swallowed has finally passed ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/135 "2010-09-16T19:55:19Z")
The bad news: You also swallowed a hardware store’s worth of screws. The good news: You have the ability to fly. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/136 "2010-09-16T19:59:34Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > The good news: You have the ability to fly. …because you’ve turned into a fly. The good news: You’ve finally perfected a keyboardless direct-brain hookup to your computer so you’ll never have to type (or use a mouse) again. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/137 "2010-09-16T20:00:59Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > The bad news: You also swallowed a hardware store’s worth of screws. > > The good news: You have the ability to fly. TBN: The FAA has decided any flights you undertake will maintain the same laws as any other mechanical flight. You have to get a pilot’s license and pass through airport security before each flight. TGN: You won a free plastic surgery procedure of your choice. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/138 "2010-09-16T20:10:12Z")
The bad news: The painkillers cost $50,000 per dose. (Skipped): The good news: You’ve finally perfected a keyboardless direct-brain hookup to your computer so you’ll never have to type (or use a mouse) again. ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/139 "2010-09-16T20:11:15Z")
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:136, topic:552126”] > [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > The good news: You have the ability to fly. …because you’ve turned into a fly. The good news: You’ve finally perfected a keyboardless direct-brain hookup to your computer so you’ll never have to type (or use a mouse) again. [/QUOTE] The bad news: The FAA has decided any flights you undertake will maintain the same laws as any other mechanical flight. You have place your head in a bin to pass through airport security before each flight. The good news: Evil has been driven from the Planet! ---
**Author:** ![Caveat\_lector\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@Caveat\_lector\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caveat_lector_1)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/140 "2010-09-16T20:30:02Z")
The bad news: so has all animal life. The plant civilization has begun! The good news: You win free electricity for life from your electric company [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126.md?page=8)