# Game: Good News/Bad News **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [August 31, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126 "2010-08-31T13:43:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/141 "2010-09-17T15:11:23Z")
The bad news: You get a shock every time you turn on a light, appliance or gadget. The good news: You’re given the full legal authority to order the painful execution of whichever celebrity you most hate. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/142 "2010-09-17T17:47:32Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > The Good News: You have just won a million dollar designer wardrope. > [@Bootis](#): > > The bad news - The godless liberals want you to give it back You won the game, the thread, the forum, the internet, and all other electronic networks ever conceived. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/143 "2010-09-17T18:44:22Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > The good news: You’re given the full legal authority to order the painful execution of whichever celebrity you most hate. The bad news: So many a-holes, so few bullets. The good news is that you’ve just developed a working warp drive. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/144 "2010-09-18T01:59:20Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > The good news is that you’ve just developed a working warp drive. The bad news: it’s powered by live (human) babies. The good news: You just got hold of a book listing the winners of every sporting event to be held in the next 50 years. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/145 "2010-09-18T02:24:30Z")
The bad news is: Some legitimate Italian businessmen would like to have a conversation with you. The good news is: They’re bringing your favorite TV series back from cancellation. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/146 "2010-09-18T03:14:01Z")
The bad news is: The characters all become flanderized, they run out of plot, and they have to use too many cut-away gags. And Billy Ray Cyrus guest stars. The good news: You’ve just finished writing the best book ever, and sold it for a very nice sum. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/147 "2010-09-18T03:25:12Z")
The bad news: Your book is being edited by Dan Brown, and you have to split the check with him. The good news: It will be cold tonight, but you have two fluffy warm kitties to sleep on your bed with you and keep you warm. ---
**Author:** ![Caveat\_lector\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@Caveat\_lector\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caveat_lector_1)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/148 "2010-09-18T04:25:15Z")
The bad news: they have rabies. The good news: you have just gotten Israel and Palestine to live together in peace ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/149 "2010-09-18T14:53:50Z")
> [@Caveat\_lector\_1](#): > > The good news: you have just gotten Israel and Palestine to live together in peace The bad news: … and now that they’re allies, they’re attacking everyone else. The good news: That co-worker you’re attracted to asks you out on a date. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/150 "2010-09-18T21:51:13Z")
The bad news: Within moments of sitting down to a fancy dinner with her, she asks, “Have you really thought about whether you have the right insurance coverage…?” The good news: While walking on the beach near Nags Head, N.C., you discover Blackbeard the Pirate’s enormous treasure trove of doubloons. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/151 "2010-09-18T21:57:08Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > The good news: While walking on the beach near Nags Head, N.C., you discover Blackbeard the Pirate’s enormous treasure trove of doubloons. The bad news: It’s now directly underneath a bio-warfare research facility. The good news: You woke up this morning and discovered you had x-ray vision, just like Superman. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/152 "2010-09-18T22:10:19Z")
the bad news is unlike superman your x-ray vision kills everything you look at, friends, lovers, kittens… the good news is you got a street named after you ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/153 "2010-09-19T01:31:42Z")
The bad news is they spelled your name wrong on the sign The good news is your favorite team won the championship ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/154 "2010-09-19T03:15:03Z")
The bad news: _Everyone_ knows they cheated. The good news: Your flight is on time taking off, has a smooth trip, and lands without any trouble at its scheduled destination, a place where you really wanted to go. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/155 "2010-09-19T04:15:17Z")
The bad news: You just wish you had gotten to the airport on time. The good news: The IRS calls you and says you overpaid last year and they’re sending you a refund. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/156 "2010-09-19T05:31:37Z")
The bad news: Guido says that’s still not enough. The good news: Harvard is giving you an honorary degree. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/157 "2010-09-19T06:54:28Z")
TBN: …because you’ve been a Ph.D candidate for 25 years. TGN: Your ISP is giving you a free upgrade with no additional charges so now your download speed is 100 TB/sec. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/158 "2010-09-19T11:48:24Z")
TBN: But now your internet service takes a crap every couple of hours. (This actually happened to me on my last upgrade ☹ ). TGN: The laziest guy on your team is leaving the department. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/159 "2010-09-19T15:12:57Z")
> [@](#): > > The Good News: The laziest guy on your team is leaving the department. The Bad News: Because he figures your daughter can support them both now that he’s marrying her. The Good News: You were in the Oprah audience when she gave everyone a new car. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126/160 "2010-09-19T19:02:14Z")
TBN: It’s a matchbook car. TGN: It’s “Talk like a pirate” day. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-good-news-bad-news/552126.md?page=9)