# GAME : If God .... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 4, 2001, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268 "2001-07-04T23:57:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/1 "2001-07-04T23:57:40Z")
Inspired by Dragwyr’s sig : > [@](#): > > **"If God had meant for man to eat waffles, he would have given him lips like snowshoes." - Rev. Billy C. Wirtz** If God had meant for man to fly we’d be born sitting three across holding air sickness bags. Supply your own. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/2 "2001-07-05T00:04:09Z")
If God had meant for me to swim, he would have given me fins and clamshell boobs. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/3 "2001-07-05T00:37:12Z")
If God had meant for me to use a computer, I’d have been born GUI, not gooey. ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/4 "2001-07-05T01:03:34Z")
If God had meant for us to get fucked, he’d have put a hole in our ass. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/5 "2001-07-05T02:22:22Z")
If God had meant for us to live peaceably together, why did He create so many intractable assholes??? I really suck at puzzles… Buenos Vertigo! ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/6 "2001-07-05T02:36:21Z")
If God had meant for man and woman to be together, He’d have given us _Slot A_ and _Tab B_. ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/7 "2001-07-05T02:46:52Z")
If gawd had meant for us to have lives, he wouldn’t have invented the computer. Where the hell is GaWd, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/8 "2001-07-05T02:59:14Z")
If God wanted me to know your opinions on politics, he’d have tatooed them on your forehead. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/9 "2001-07-05T03:22:39Z")
If God had intended for us to drink beer, he’d have given us mouths. [sub]I think I’m stealing that from someone. Sorry. :D[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/10 "2001-07-05T03:23:17Z")
If God meant for me to iron, why’d he come up with dry cleaners? ---
**Author:** ![Kaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaz)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/11 "2001-07-05T03:42:18Z")
Nice one **elfkin**! If God had intended for us to sleep, he would not have invented the Straight Dope. ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/12 "2001-07-05T04:52:27Z")
If god wanted me to wash my car why’d he invent rain? ---
**Author:** ![Dignan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dignan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dignan)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/13 "2001-07-05T05:35:42Z")
If God didn’t want us to have all the answers he wouldn’t have given us Cecil. ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/14 "2001-07-05T06:36:38Z")
If God had meant for people to talk on cellphones while driving, He should’ve given people the gift of telepathy. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/15 "2001-07-05T09:03:00Z")
If God, then I’m in trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/16 "2001-07-05T09:07:44Z")
If God had meant for men to think rationally, he wouldn’t have given women boobs. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/17 "2001-07-05T11:32:50Z")
If God didn’t have a sense of humor, explain JDT. ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/18 "2001-07-05T12:59:24Z")
If god had meant for us to something, he would have something something. 😉 HUGS! Sqrl ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/19 "2001-07-05T16:33:40Z")
If god had meant for me to be happy, he would have given me a different life. ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268/20 "2001-07-05T16:36:55Z")
If God had not wanted us to wank, he would have made our arms shorter. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-if-god/71268.md?page=2)