# Game : Rewrite the World's Greatest Literature
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-rewrite-the-worlds-greatest-literature/131290
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [October 8, 2002, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-rewrite-the-worlds-greatest-literature/131290 "2002-10-08T00:40:34Z")
**Posts on this page:** 8
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2002, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-rewrite-the-worlds-greatest-literature/131290/41 "2002-10-11T04:26:12Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Nostradamus \*
> \*\ ***Macbeth** Act 1, Scene 1.
>
> First Witch: _I come, Graymalkin!_
>
> All: _Paddock calls anon.
> Fair is foul, and foul is fair,
> Hover through the fog and filthy air._
> \*\*
Should be
Second Witch: Paddock calls.
Third witch: Anon.
All: Fair is foul, etc.
---
### Author:  [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2002, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-rewrite-the-worlds-greatest-literature/131290/42 "2002-10-11T04:44:24Z")
“Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of starening-cross’d lovers take their life;
Whole misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents’ strife.
The fearful passage of their death-mark’d love,
And the continuance of their parents’ rage,
Which, but their children’s end, nought could remove…”
rewritten as
Boys and girls from Rome to Milan/take it from two suicidal teens/parents just don’t understand.
“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into a giant insect.”
rewritten as
One night Greg got hold of some bad X.
“Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show. To begin my life with the beginning of my life, I record that I was born (as I have been informed and believe) on a Friday, at twelve o’clock at night. It was remarked that the clock began to strike, and I began to cry, simultaneously.”
rewritten as
Mama said I was born at night.
---
### Author:  [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2002, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-rewrite-the-worlds-greatest-literature/131290/43 "2002-10-11T20:54:22Z")
**sternvogel** , I’ve checked my _Penguin Modern Classics_ version of _Macbeth_ and the text corresponds with what I posted.
Mind you, it only cost £1 so they may have made economies. 😃
---
### Author:  [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2002, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-rewrite-the-worlds-greatest-literature/131290/44 "2002-10-11T22:06:45Z")
My college roommates and I created _Hatchet Classics_ and, on tape, performed “Moby Dick”. The script went something like this:
“Call me Ismael.”
“Look out for the whale”
(Sound of water poured into the sink)
“It et the captain!”
Everyone: “Awwwwww.”
The end
---
### Author:  [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)
#### Post date: [October 11, 2002, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-rewrite-the-worlds-greatest-literature/131290/45 "2002-10-11T22:24:20Z")
::yawn:: I wonder what I should to toda----HOLY SHIT!! I’m a friggin’ COCKROACH!!!
---
### Author:  [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2002, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-rewrite-the-worlds-greatest-literature/131290/46 "2002-10-21T18:59:10Z")
A friend just e-mailed me the link to [this](http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/classics.shtml) site. Quite entertaining I do think, and along the same lines of this little game.
---
### Author:  [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)
#### Post date: [October 22, 2002, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-rewrite-the-worlds-greatest-literature/131290/47 "2002-10-22T07:14:45Z")
Summerizing quite a few chapters and several hundred pages that makes up the beginning of _Les Miserables_.
There is a Bishop. He is Good. There is a man named Valjean. He used to be good, went to prison for shoplifting and became bad. He steals from a Bishop and a kid and becomes Good again. He then becomes a Rich man and a Mayor.
Or, the plot of almost every HP Lovecraft Story:
I am scared and most likely insane because I saw something very strange. Now I will tell you what led up to it. (Insert lots of atmosphere building, little character development, some plot, lots of adjectives,maybe a couple dead people and usally some kind of beastie). This final piece of evidence, denoted by italics, will prove everything, at least to me. (dies or goes insane).
---
### Author:  [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)
#### Post date: [October 22, 2002, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-rewrite-the-worlds-greatest-literature/131290/48 "2002-10-22T07:22:15Z")
A guy got stuck on a trail at night and couldn’t start a fire, so he just gave up and died.
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