# Game- Simpsons Quotes!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 8, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664 "2001-07-08T04:22:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/81 "2001-07-10T04:11:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoggie \* > \*\*New quote: > > “You’ve got to squeal, to every parent and teacher you can find. Coming to me was a good start.” \*\* Homer to Bart after some bullies beat him up and stole his belt of accessories that he bought from the comic book shop guy. _ **You wont have your Willy to slap around anymore.** _ ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/82 "2001-07-10T04:39:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BigDaddyD \* > \*\*“What a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the bees are trying to have sex with them, as is my understanding.” > \*\* This is the most awesome quote, from the episode where Bart is late to school during PE sign-up day and is forced to take ballet. That was the subplot, and I believe the main plot was Homer owing money to Patty and Selma. “I should box your ears, you, you, you Sneaky Pete!” ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/83 "2001-07-10T04:46:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ThisYearsGirl \* > **"I should box your ears, you, you, you Sneaky Pete!"** Flanders refuses the illegal cable hookup. “But it, it was a contest for children!” “Yeah, and Homer beat their brains out!” ---
**Author:** ![Morrison\_s\_Lament](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Morrison\_s\_Lament](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrison_s_Lament)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/84 "2001-07-10T04:55:18Z")
Frank Grimes, after his scheme of humiliating Homer by fixing an ad for a children’s competition failed miserably. Now for mine: “No bowl! STICK, STICK!” — G. Raven ---
**Author:** ![N0sfura2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@N0sfura2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N0sfura2)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/85 "2001-07-10T05:07:09Z")
“But it was a contest for children” “Yeah, and Homer beat their brains out” Frank Grimes and Lenny after Homer wins first place in a contest to design a nuclear power plant (sung in a minor key) “Nothin’ beats my hobo life, Stabbin’ folks with my hobo knife” ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/86 "2001-07-10T06:14:44Z")
“Nothin’ beats my hobo life, Stabbin’ folks with my hobo knife” The train hobo the Simpsons meet when they’re forced to ride the rails, and listen to Paul Bunyan, Johnny Appleseed-type tales. The guy who likes his sponge bath, especially between the toes. _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![cykrider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@cykrider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cykrider)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/87 "2001-07-10T06:55:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Morrison’s Lament \* > \*\* > “No bowl! STICK, STICK!” > \*\* I’m pretty sure this is from the NY episode as well, where Homer is getting the “food” and crab juice. I could watch this part over and over: “Old grey Bessy ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be…” I was also wondering if anyone knew the situation of my sig? ---
**Author:** ![cykrider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@cykrider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cykrider)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/88 "2001-07-10T07:03:47Z")
Sorry about the multipost, but I wanted to to take a WAG on > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spudo \* > \*\* > Sometimes, but the person I really hate is YOUR father > \*\* Was this when Homer went nuts in the spring break episode? or maybe Ned, when he was a kid, said it? ---
**Author:** ![Ell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@Ell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ell)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/89 "2001-07-10T07:06:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cykrider \* > **"Old grey Bessy ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be…"** The old guy that will dance for food, with his pants down, sings this song. He gets his own show and sings this song on it. “Son of Bi…” ---
**Author:** ![Ell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@Ell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ell)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/90 "2001-07-10T07:08:03Z")
That should read: “Son of a bi…” ---
**Author:** ![Chocobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Chocobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chocobo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/91 "2001-07-10T07:33:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ell \* > \*\*That should read: “Son of a bi…” \*\* Mr. Burns, after forgetting to remove his finger from the intercom button after saying “Ah, fresh victims for my evergrowing army of the undead!” (Smithers: Sir, you have to let go of the button) “Oh sun of a bi…!” How about this one… (probably one of the funniest lines, due to the circumstances) “Oh boy! A carnival!” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/92 "2001-07-10T12:41:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cykrider \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Morrison’s Lament \* > > \*\* > > “No bowl! STICK, STICK!” > > \*\* > > I’m pretty sure this is from the NY episode as well, where Homer is getting the “food” and crab juice. > I could watch this part over and over: > > “Old grey Bessy ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be…” > I was also wondering if anyone knew the situation of my sig? \*\* That was the episode when Homer was to steal Moe’s car while Moe was on a boat, so he could get the money to keep dating his high class girlfriend (voice of Helen Hunt). “Oh, the chair? Why is it they only show crucifixions during sweeps?” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/93 "2001-07-10T12:44:54Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Chocobo_ > “Oh boy! A carnival!” Not sure, but wasn’t that Milhouse in the episode where the Simpsons vacation at the Flanders’ place by the ocean? Lisa makes friends with the “cool kids” and Bart is jealous. At the carnival in question, Bart and Lisa are fighting, but poor Milhouse ends up getting caught in the middle. Okay, how about this quote: “I am the lizard queen!” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/94 "2001-07-10T13:38:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spoons \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by Chocobo_ > > “Oh boy! A carnival!” > > Not sure, but wasn’t that Milhouse in the episode where the Simpsons vacation at the Flanders’ place by the ocean? Lisa makes friends with the “cool kids” and Bart is jealous. At the carnival in question, Bart and Lisa are fighting, but poor Milhouse ends up getting caught in the middle. > > Okay, how about this quote: > > “I am the lizard queen!” > \*\* Lisa, after she drank the water at the theme park. “Yes, you’re right. If anyone asks…I’ll lie.” ---
**Author:** ![Fish42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@Fish42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish42)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/95 "2001-07-10T14:12:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BigDaddyD \* > \*\* > “Me fail English? That’s unpossible.” \*\* Ralph, at a school assembly where they hand out warnings to students failing classes. Lisa gets one for Phys.Ed., ends up on an intramural hockey team facing off against Bart. “I didn’t get rich by writing a lot of checks.” ---
**Author:** ![Flymaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@Flymaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flymaster)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/96 "2001-07-10T14:45:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fish42 \* > \*\* > “I didn’t get rich by writing a lot of checks.” > \*\* Bill Gates, “buying out” CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet. “Homer, I want to be loved.” “Ok…Umm…I’ll need some beer.” ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/97 "2001-07-10T14:47:57Z")
Here are a couple of pretty good ones. Hello, chief. Let’s talk, why not? So this is what it feels like when doves cry. ---
**Author:** ![quixotic78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ab097/32.png) [@quixotic78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quixotic78)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/98 "2001-07-10T15:05:16Z")
Gotta go to work sometime, though. **Mullinator** : “Hello, chief. Let’s talk, why not?” From the Mr. Sparkle episode, this is the English speaking Japanese worker at the Mr. Sparkle plant talking to Homer. **Mullinator** : “So this is what it feels like when doves cry.” Milhouse to Shelbyville Milhouse, in the Lemon Tree episode. **Flymaster** : “Ok…Umm…I’ll need some beer.” Mr. Burns telling Homer that he wants to be loved. I think it’s from the episode with Alex Fortune (you know, the one that ends with the Loch Ness Monster). **Annie-Xmas** : “Yes, you’re right. If anyone asks…I’ll lie.” Cecil Terwilliger (sp), as he’s about to throw Bart off a cliff. **Annie-Xmas** : “Oh, the chair? Why is it they only show crucifixions during sweeps?” Sounds like Bart when Mr. Quimby gets fried on TV. This is from the episode where Ralph and Bart have a play-date (hehe). Like I said, I missed some, but that involves scrolling up! _whine_ Two from me… “It’s a pornography warehouse. I was buying pornography.” (Wish I could type inflection on here… he says it so hilariously) “…which I believe is some sort of a hovercraft.” Fight the good fight! Quix ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/99 "2001-07-10T15:29:19Z")
Van Heffren? Its “Van Heflin” you boobs! Sheesh, don’t you people ever watch old movies? “Ok, giant beer” was Barney to Chief Wiggum dressed up like the giant stein of Duff. Barney was the designated driver for a completely blotto Homer. “I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the fashion at the time…” ---
**Author:** ![Tretiak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Tretiak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tretiak)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/100 "2001-07-10T15:43:12Z")
> [@](#): > > “It’s a pornography warehouse. I was buying pornography.” (Wish I could type inflection on here… he says it so hilariously) > > “…which I believe is some sort of a hovercraft.” Homer talking to the insurance guy, trying to hide he was at a bar, in the Mr. Plow episode. and… When Homer joins Hullaballooza to get shot with a cannon, this line is how he describes The Alan Parsons Project. My line… “I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there…save me Superman!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664.md?page=6)