# Game- Simpsons Quotes!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 8, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664 "2001-07-08T04:22:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/141 "2001-07-11T14:36:24Z")
“Kissing you would be like licking some devine ashtray” I’m pretty sure that Side Show Bob said that to Patty or Selma (I always get them confused) in the episode where he married than tried to kill her. “Man, that is flagrant false advertising.” Otto said this after walking out of a shop. I don’t remember the name but it had something to do with Pot(s). ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/142 "2001-07-11T14:39:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by plnnr \* > \*\*“Kissing you would be like licking some divine ashtray.” \*\* Sideshow Bob sweet-talking his new wife Selma on their honeymoon. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Fish42_ > **"Man, that is flagrant false advertising."** Otto, leaving “Stoner’s Pot Palace,” in the episode where Milhouse’s parents divorce. “A sarcasm detector. That’s a _real_ useful invention.” ---
**Author:** ![Fish42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@Fish42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish42)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/143 "2001-07-11T14:42:44Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by BigDaddyD \* \*\* “Whoa, acid flashback! Wouldn’t want to be driving a bus right now.” (I’m surprised this character hasn’t been quoted yet.) Otto, when the bus gets attacked by a mysteriously-ainimated red devil advertising logo in one of the Halloween episodes. “This is a sordid little burg, isn’t it? Makes me sick in a wonderful way.” ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/144 "2001-07-11T14:50:04Z")
“That’s it, I’m outta here.” Homer’s brain to Homer, after Homer, once again, says something stupid, but I forget the exact episode. “A sarcasm detector…” The comic store guy to the inventor. The machine then blows up in response to the comment. I think this the one where the MENSA group take over Springfield. How about: “Ay Caramba” or “Don’t have a cow, man” ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/145 "2001-07-11T14:56:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fish42 \* > \*\*“Are these morons getting dumber or just louder?” \*\* Mayor Quimby when the town comes to his office to protest the new $5 bear tax. ---
**Author:** ![Fish42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@Fish42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish42)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/146 "2001-07-11T14:56:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Protesilaus \* > \*\* > “A sarcasm detector. That’s a _real_ useful invention.” \*\* The Comic Book Guy to Professor Frink. During the episode in which Mensa ran the town. “I wash myself with a rag on a stick.” ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/147 "2001-07-11T15:19:25Z")
“I wash myself with a rag on a stick.” Bart, while dreaming of being insanely obese after Homer gains weight. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/148 "2001-07-11T15:44:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by False\_God \* > [B"Then I’ll be Queen of Summer! King, I mean King!" \*\* Martin, insanely jealous of Lisa, gets a pool. “Mom, Reverend Lovejoy doesn’t have a coat. Should I let him in?” ---
**Author:** ![Fish42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@Fish42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish42)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/149 "2001-07-11T16:21:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ThisYearsGirl \* > \*\*“Mom, Reverend Lovejoy doesn’t have a coat. Should I let him in?” > \*\* Bart, greeting the guests at the dinner party Marge throws (the one where Milhouse’s parents break up) “Good boy. Do your dirty, sinful business.” ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/150 "2001-07-11T16:34:01Z")
“Good boy. Do your dirty, sinful business.” Rev. Lovejoy, coaxing his dog to go to the bathroom on Flanders’ yard. “But I don’t even BELIEVE in Jebus!” ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/151 "2001-07-11T17:53:43Z")
> [@](#): > > “Good boy. Do your dirty, sinful business.” Rev. Lovejoy to his dog after Flander comes out and see the dog (St. Bernard?) doing its business on his yard. (and also after the Rev. had just “scolded” his dog) (on review) “But I don’t even BELIEVE in Jebus!” Homer, when we gets sent off as a missionary to avoid…shoot…something. “Eyes on the floor. Eyes on God’s glorious floor. \ Always on the floor…” ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/152 "2001-07-11T17:56:18Z")
“But I don’t even believe in Jebus” Homer, after he becomes a missionary to escape from a pledge to PBS. My favorite line from that episode is “Elmo knows where you live!” Hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/153 "2001-07-11T18:26:02Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* \*\* > [@](#): > > “Eyes on the floor. Eyes on God’s glorious floor. \ Always on the floor…” > \*\* A reverend to his congragation in the episode when Homer and Marge became exhibitionists. Homer was hanging from a hot air balloon and his ass was steaked across a glass ceiling of a church. _ **Quick, chew through my ball sack.** _ ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/154 "2001-07-11T18:42:03Z")
“Quick, chew through my ball sack.” Principal Skinner to the gerbil when the students have tied him up in a dodgeball bag. “Wait a minute! There’s no Angus McGee in North Kiltstown!” ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/155 "2001-07-11T18:53:44Z")
Still no response on the quote I posted: “Jesus, Allah, Budda, I love you all!” ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/156 "2001-07-11T18:56:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > \*\*“Wait a minute! There’s no Angus McGee in North Kiltstown!” \*\* Groundskeeper Willie to Homer after Homer tries to pass himself off as being from his hometown in the episode where Homer tries to sell grease for money. _ **Whoa dude, you did not smile. We eat for free. Lets roll Shoshanna.** _ ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/157 "2001-07-11T19:19:00Z")
“Whoa dude…” Snake says this to Moe to get his food for free. Moe had opened a Bennigans type restaurant and guaranteed he’d smile when he brought the bill. I must admit, I’m stumped by weirddave, somebody help him! ---
**Author:** ![Fish42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@Fish42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish42)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/158 "2001-07-11T19:26:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Amp \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > > \*\*“Wait a minute! There’s no Angus McGee in North Kiltstown!” \*\* > > Groundskeeper Willie to Homer after Homer tries to pass himself off as being from his hometown in the episode where Homer tries to sell grease for money. > > \*\* Actually, its Homer who delivers this line to Willie. Williw asked Homer where he came from in Scotland; Homer makes up the town of North Kiltstown; Willie announces, “That’s my hometown” then asks “Do you know Angus McGee”; Homer responds as above, accusing Willie of being the fraud. “I’m disrespectful to dirt. Can you see I am serious?” ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/159 "2001-07-11T19:46:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fish42 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Amp \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > > > \*\*“Wait a minute! There’s no Angus McGee in North Kiltstown!” \*\* > > > > Groundskeeper Willie to Homer after Homer tries to pass himself off as being from his hometown in the episode where Homer tries to sell grease for money. > > > > \*\* > > Actually, its Homer who delivers this line to Willie. > Williw asked Homer where he came from in Scotland; Homer makes up the town of North Kiltstown; Willie announces, “That’s my hometown” then asks “Do you know Angus McGee”; Homer responds as above, accusing Willie of being the fraud. > “I’m disrespectful to dirt. Can you see I am serious?” > > \*\* Thanks **Fish42** for the correction. I’m disrespectful to dirt… Mr.Sparkles in the episode where Bart finds a box of soap with Homer’s picture on it. _ **Dad, that’s his crotch** _ ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664/160 "2001-07-11T20:13:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Amp \* > \*\*_ **Dad, that’s his crotch** _ > \*\* Lisa, to Homer, during the Halloween episode where Mr. Burns is a vampire and they have to kill him. “Why didn’t you get something useful like storm windows, or a nice pipe organ?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-simpsons-quotes/71664.md?page=9)