# Game - Song Letter Change **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 10, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410 "2001-04-10T00:42:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2001, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/41 "2001-04-11T13:12:34Z")
The national anthem of Minnesota avian-submissives, \*\* The Loon is a Harsh Mistress \*\* K.C. & The Sunshine Band’s ode to schoolyard bullies \*\*I’m Your Noogie Man \*\* For all the folk Ah-Nuld wannabees \*\*If I Had a Hummer \*\* Pining for the loss of your vintage Chatty Cathy™ **Good Golly, Miss Dolly** England Dan and John Ford Coley kickin’ back with middle age spread **Gone Too Fat** And in the same vein, Peter Frampton asks the musical question **Do You Feed Like I Do?** The 10-items-or-under Supermarket Song \*\*Life in the Fast Line \*\* Living the good life in apple growing country \*\*The Ballad of Easy Cider \*\* Hijinks on the farm \*\*Come on Down to My Goat, Baby \*\* And the ever-popular **Ding, Dong the Witch is Deaf** ---
**Author:** ![Xerxes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/d2c977/32.png) [@Xerxes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xerxes)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2001, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/42 "2001-04-11T13:49:55Z")
Then there’s Aretha’s alternate theme for Star Treck, The search for… **Respoct** Or Depeche Mode’s Gambler’s Anonymous **Just Can’t Bet Enough** Followed by The Cars’ take on gardening **Just What I Weeded** And who can forget Cyndi Lauper’s tribute to Marcel Marceau **Time After Mime** Billy Joel fondly recalls his apprenticeship as a welder in **Just The Way You Arc** Or Al Green’s vetenarian ditty **Let’s Spay Together** Bruce Springsteen’s NRA tribute **Born To Gun** Or the Miracles, sliding downhill to the tune of **Tracks Of My Rears** [sub]I’ll stop now, but I can’t promise I won’t be back; haven’t seen a thread this funny for a while[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2001, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/43 "2001-04-11T16:32:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nocturne \* > \*\*I thought Semen and Garfunkel sang “I Am a Cock”, not “Love Me Like a Cock.” \*\* The second was a solo effort. He later went on to record his _Hearts and Boner_ album, featuring the single _Rene and Georgia Magritte with Their Dog After the Bar_, the subject of which I really don’t want to discuss… ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2001, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/44 "2001-04-11T18:06:35Z")
Billy Idol falls in love with a midget – “Dancin with my elf” Madness engage in polygamy – “Our Spouse” Soft Cell sings about the OJ trial – “Tainted Glove” Tommy Tutone dials the wrong number – “867-5308” (oof, that was bad) The Psychedelic Furs lust after a current boy band – “Pretty NSYNC” Quiet Riot in a gay strib club – “Cum on feel the boize” Styx moves to the ghetto – “Too much crime on my hands” Dire Straits open up a BBQ chicken shack – “Sultans of Wing” Falco gets into a fistfight with Mozart – “Sock Me Amadeus” Frankie goes to Hollywood get kicked out of the methadone program – “Relapse” John Waite tries water sports – “Pissing You” Pat Benetar has an accident in the kitchen – “Fire and Rice” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2001, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/45 "2001-04-11T18:47:39Z")
Boring day at work. Here are some more: Willie and Julio buy a truck and try another line of work. Their advertising jingle: _To All The Girls We’ve Moved Before_ Sam and Dave sing about a ballplayer who can’t hit a fair ball: _Foul Man_ Tennesee Ernie Ford sings about a meeting of organized crime bosses: _Sixteen Dons_ Lobo’s song of teenage woes: _A Pimple Man_ Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s sing about their favorite Olympic race event: _Relay_ Randy Newman’s tribute to the crew cut: _Shorn People_ The song where the Sex Pistols forget the words: _Anarchy in the Um…_ ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/46 "2001-04-11T19:33:10Z")
The Beatles were singing of a burned-out mother in **Lazy Madonna**. Trent Reznor (as NIN) sang of the man with the unfortunate-shaped **Head Like a Mole**. The Who’s determination to make the basketball shot unobstructed was evident in **Won’t Get Fouled Again**. The Ramones hoped for more than just one-night-stands in **I Wanna Be Re-dated**. A great moment in the '80’s was when the Go-Go’s bought a brand-new Subaru and sang **We Got the Brat**. Neil Diamond’s ode to a far-gone drunk was **Red Red Wino**. Oingo Boingo knew the limits of the ocean and pressure on the human body with **No One Dives Forever**. Tom Petty claims to behave gentlemanly in **I Won’t Mack Down**. –or perhaps it was his windfall inheritance of a duck pond : **I Won’t Lack Down**. –or maybe his unwillingness to support the Nobel-Prize-winning inventor of the defibrillator with **I Won’t Back (Bernard) Lown**. ---
**Author:** ![Kaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaz)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/47 "2001-04-11T21:18:16Z")
Madonna dabbles in Astrology in **Like a Virgo** When I forget to shower, I get **The Rind Beneath my Wings** There’s always Survivor’s tribute to Winnie the Pooh, **Eye of the Tigger** House of Pain promoted promiscious sex with their song **Hump Around** Little known fact: The Byrds were also pyromaniacs, as demonstrated by their song, **Burn, Burn Burn** and Fecalphieliacs (sp?) shown by the sequal **Turd, Turd, Turd** Lastly,it was recently reveald that the BeeGees were actually communists, as we find in their hit single, **Stalin Alive** ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/48 "2001-04-12T18:28:01Z")
_Rake Me_- Nirvana sings a song from the point of view of their messy, leaf-cluttered yard. _Sympathy for the Nevil(le)_- The Rolling Stones take pity on Winston Churchill’s predessor. _California Creaming_- A song for all the bouncers of LA- and the chums trying to get into night clubs who push them too far… _She’s So Bold_- The Rolling Stones lament the audacity of today’s women… and finally, _Purr Morning_- Where Placebo reveals that their love for felines ::bows:: thank you, thank you! You’re too kind, and yes, these are too lame. ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/49 "2001-04-13T03:23:16Z")
Don’t forget Bill Haley & the Comets’ ode to their secret alternative lifestyle, **Cock Around the Clock.** ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/50 "2001-04-13T04:44:43Z")
Billy Idle’s foray into interior decorating - **White Bedding** Martin Paige’s idolatry - **Mouse of Stone and Light** Men At Work’s staggering portrayal of. . .solo. . .activities - **Hand Down Under** The Proclaimers’ ode to the mason - **I Would Wall Five Hundred Miles** REO Speedwagon, making sure their stoned buddy is still alive - **Keep On Moving, You** That’s enough for now. . . ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/51 "2001-04-13T08:10:57Z")
I heard that reluctant grooms are beginning to play “Wed, Wed, Wine” Isn’t exactly my idea but there’s a typo on my Three Dog Night CD. The song is called “The Show Must Go One” Really! ---
**Author:** ![Mothra\_s\_Pilot\_Car](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mothra\_s\_Pilot\_Car](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mothra_s_Pilot_Car)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/52 "2001-04-13T20:44:44Z")
Catholic interior decorator _Tori Amos_ brings us **Crucify My Shelf** _Aerosmith_’s tribute to the photoprocessing industry: **Sweet Emulsion** Is it possible to groan with glee? ``` -Mothra ``` ---
**Author:** ![Kaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaz)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/53 "2001-04-13T21:16:14Z")
David Bowie’s tale of a gossip, **The Man Who Told the World**. Off of Pearl Jam’s first Barnyard album, **Hen** , comes the hit about he Swedish man, **Sven Flow**. And of course, Green Day had their first hit single about coffins with **Casket Case**. ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/54 "2001-04-14T05:48:48Z")
There’s always this theme of love, isn’t there? Let’s start with Edgar Bergman’s love for Charlie McCarthy: **Dummy, Dummy, Dummy, I’ve Got Love In My Tummy** …The Cure achieved a minor hit with their paen to Anne Rice, **Love Bats** …Cyndi Lauper resolved the sapphic side of her catholic childhood with her **Girls Just Wanna Have Nun** …Bonnie Tyler reimagined the geometry of love in **Total Ellipse of the Heart** …Sting’s autoerotic near-drowning inspired the Police’s number-one effort, **King of Vain** … And then there are the those that are just odd, like Dusty Springfield’s interwining jealousy and the search for alternative energy sources in **Windmills of Your Minx** …David Byrne must have been a bit peckish when he recorded the Talking Heads version of **Take Me to the Liver** , which Bed Bath & Beyond now uses as subliminal music under the title **Take Me to the Ricer** …And finally, speaking of advertising, Ford and Firestone have joined together on a new ad campaign using the Doors’ **Light My Tire** … ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2001, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/55 "2001-04-14T18:43:04Z")
And when you drop acid before watching Green Acres, you end up writing something like **Lucy in the Sty with Diamonds** … ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/56 "2001-04-15T16:57:52Z")
Darn you people! Once I was content to be a casual lurker on this board. Now this game has invaded my consciousness. Resistance is futile. So, my first post. Please be kind if my coding isn’t spot on. “Cuff the Magic Dragon.” Whaddya know! The song _WAS_ about marijuana after all. Book 'im, Dano. “If You Could Bread My Mind.” Gordon Lightfoot gets into Hannibal Lecter territory. “Stranglers in the Night.” Ditto Frank Sinatra. “Hang on, Sloppy.” The McCoys offer succor to the organizationally impaired. “Smackwaiter Jack.” Carol King sings about a guy who finally got fed up with the snooty staff of a French restaurant. “That’s Amon-Re.” Dean Martin teaches a course in Egyptian mythology. “The Girl from Ip-enema.” Tubes and pans and gloves and jelly, The girl from Ip-enema goes walking. And when she passes, each one she passes goes – _AHHHHHH!!!_ “Invisible Couch.” Genesis can’t figure out where to crash. “Up, Up and Awry.” The Fifth Dimension’s balloon trip goes horribly wrong. (Which naturally segues into …) “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sink.” ---
**Author:** ![ThreeLeggedBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ThreeLeggedBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThreeLeggedBob)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/57 "2001-04-16T00:00:16Z")
Fly Like A Beagle (as Snoopy mounts his Sopwith Camel) ---
**Author:** ![ThreeLeggedBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ThreeLeggedBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThreeLeggedBob)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/58 "2001-04-16T10:40:06Z")
_All You Need Is Glove_ - Michael Jackson explains his success. _Baby, Now That I’ve Bound You_ - …things get interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/59 "2001-04-16T18:44:05Z")
**Me and Mrs. Bones.** Billy Paul sings of his bittersweet affair with the wife of an Enterprise crewman. **Michael, Tow the Boat Ashore.** Damn motor went out again. ---
**Author:** ![aviddiva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@aviddiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aviddiva)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410/60 "2001-06-18T20:35:12Z")
Christina Aguilera’s tribute to a Stones classic: **Tart Me Up** C & C Music Factory’s threat regarding the concentration of radio play-time they will dominate: **Gonna Make You Swear** Billy Idol’s farmland nightmare: **Ewes Without a Face** Sting’s failed marketing gimmick: **Massage in a Bottle** (with some license)The Ramone’s anthropomorphised rendering of the lament of a paring knife: **I Wanna Be Serrated** Elvis Costello’s police dating system: **Matchin’ the Detectives** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-song-letter-change/61410.md?page=4)