I went home with the waitress
The way I always do
How was I to know
She was with the
Russians, too?
I was gambling in Havana
I took a little risk
Send lawyers, guns and money
They’ll get me out of this, hyeah
PT-boat on the way to Havana
I used to make a living, man
Pickin’ the banana.
Now I’m a guide for the CIA
Hooray for the USA!
Baby, baby, make me a loco
Baby, baby, make me a mambo
At the Copa – Copacabana,
The hottest spot north of Havana.
At the Copa – Copacabana,
Music and passion were always in fashion,
At the Copa… they fell in love!
At the hop
You can rock and you can roll
And do the Stomp and do the Stroll
At the hop
he kids in Bristol are sharp as a pistol
When they do the Bristol Stomp
Really somethin when they join in jumpin
When they do the Bristol Stomp
Whoa, whoa they start spinnin every Friday night
They dance the greatest and they do it right
Well, it’s the latest it’s the greatest sight to see
There was also a dwarf named Bristol
Quite a strong and ugly lump
So short and wide and thick of hide
He was called the Bristol stump
Wanna tell you a story
‘Bout a woman I know
Ah, come to lovin’
Ooh, she steals the show
She ain’t exactly pretty
Ain’t exactly small
Forty-two, thirty-nine, fifty-six
You could say she’s got it all!
Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
Lydia the tattooed lady
She has eyes that men adore so
And a torso even more so
Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclopedia
Lydia, the queen of tattoo
On her back is the Battle of Waterloo
Beside it the Wreck of the Hesperus, too
And proudly above waves the red, white and blue
You can learn a lot from Lydia
Well come on down to the go-go we’re down on the strip
If you want to get hip to a brand new trip
They got a new soul singer she’s really dynamite
Jam up, jelly tight, outta sight, alright, ow!
Well she may be small just two feet tall
But if you give her half a chance she’ll pin you to the wall
She’s a little showstopper you’re gonna have a ball
She can sing she can dance she can really do it all yeah
And now ladies and gentlemen without further ado
It is indeed a great pleasure to introduce to you
Held over three weeks and gettin’ rave reviews
Here’s Bridget the Midget the Queen of the Blues
Just picture your average caveman, sitting around listening to his stereo
He says "gotta’ find a woman, gotta’ find a woman
He runs across? sees? Bertha Butt, she was one of the Butt sisters
She says, I’ll sock it to ya’ honey!
The next time she threw out the key,
It fell by the old banyan tree.
She sighed and she cried as the door opened wide
And in walked her lover, Ali.
She sighed and she cried as the door opened wide
And in walked her lover, Ali.
She threw out the key once again,
Expecting her love, Suleiman.
She sighed and she cried and she virtually died
As in walked a whole caravan.
She sighed and she cried and she virtually died
As in walked a whole caravan.
The leader then bowed his head low,
And waited her wishes to know.
“The most of you stay,” Zuleika did say,
"But the children and camels must go. "
“The most of you stay,” Zuleika did say,
“But the children and camels must go.”
Once a jolly swagman
Sat upon a billabong
Under the shade of a coolabah tree
And he sang as he sat, and rested on the billabong
Will you come a waltzing matilda with me
That old Bilbao moon, I won’t forget it soon
That old Bilbao moon, just like a big balloon
That old Bilbao moon would rise above the dune
While Tony’s Beach Saloon rocked with an old-time tune
We’d sing a song the whole night long and I can still recall
Those were the greatest (those were the greatest)
Those were the greatest (those were the greatest)
Those were the greatest nights of them all
Those were the days, my friend
We thought they’d never end
We’d sing and dance forever and a day
We’d live the life we choose
We’d fight and never lose
Those were the days
Oh, yes, those were the days
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was younger.
I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was stronger.
And I remember what she said to me
How she swore that it never would end
I remember how she held me oh so tight
Wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then
This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I’ll never look into your eyes…again
And then I fell in love
With the most wonderful boy in the world
We’d take long walks down by the river
Or just sit for hours gazing into each other’s eyes
We were so very much in love
And then one day
He went away
And I thought I’d die
But I didn’t
And when I didn’t
I said to myself
" Is that all there is to love ? "
If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
For it’s very nice to see
There’s a man who understands how hard it is