My lifestyles crazy, I’m luxury lazy
So much gold that jewelry don’t phase me
Coroless phone, eight or nine homes
Girlies on my Jammie with an Ice-T jones
Bank account boomin’, fast lane zoomin’
Known around the world for my high post groomin’
Mac like a preacher, love like a teacher
Got a girl who lives in Paris, when I want her I beep her
Too many clothes, gotta rag top rolls
1.000 Watt system and my speakers are Bose
I kick it like a champ, I throught you knew it
But pimpin’ ain’t easy
But somebody gotta do it
My thumbs are tired just from countin’ cash
No more room in my diamond stash
Filin’ my nails is such a tirin’ task
Gold knobs on my benzo dash
Five freaks just to comb my hair
Monograms on my underwear
Bodyguards around so please don’t dare
You’re takin’ a chance if you just stop and stare
Livin’ my life is just so hard to do
Makin’ deals a million one or two
Buyin’ new cars for my entire crew
Matching Ferraris - E’s black, mine’s blue
Can’t swim a lap in my pool because it’s just too long
Could never go broke because my bank’s too strong
No matter what I do I simply can’t go wrong
And I’ll make money, I don’t need this damn song
But somebody’s gotta do it
When I walk in a joint, punks always look at me hard
Because I wear enough gold to tie a dog in a yard
Cold maxin’ in my mansion so big it’s silly
Got a butler named Humphry and a maid named Milly
Mink sheets on my bed, that’s what I said
Gourmet chefs in my kitchem so that I can get fed
So tired of sailin’ on my boat I might just helicopter
To my jet and catch a midnight flight
So many girls in my book, it weighs a tom
Gotta leave the damn country just to have some fun
Private suite at the track to watch the ponies run
And there ain’t nothin’ in the word that me an “E” ain’t done
But somebody’s gotta do it
– “Somebody Gotta Do It (Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy!!!)”, Ice-T (1987)
Well I hear you went up to Saratoga and your horse naturally won.
Then you flew your Learjet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun.
Well you’re where you should be all the time,
And when you’re not you’re with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend.
On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound
I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain
Full moon is rising
The sky is black
I heed your call, I’m coming back
The road is straight cast
Wind’s in my eyes
The engine roars between my thighs
From desert plains I bring you love
From desert plains I bring you love
Wild mountain thunder
Echoes my quest
My body aches, but I’ll not rest
Quartz light to guide me
Till sunrise leads
My passion screams, my heart it bleeds
From desert plains I bring you love
From desert plains I bring you love
– “Desert Plains”, Judas Priest (1981)
Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?
I don’t remember growing older
When did they?
When did she get to be a beauty?
When did he grow to be so tall?
Wasn’t it yesterday
When they were small?
Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze
Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears
We had joy, we had fun,
We had seasons in the sun.
If ever I would leave you,
How could it be in spring-time?
Knowing how in spring I’m bewitched by you so?
Oh, no! not in spring-time!
Summer, winter or fall!
No, never could I leave you at all!
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you’ve got to do is call
And I’ll be there
Yes I will
You’ve got a friend
Listen as the syllables of slaughter cut with calm precision
Patterned frosty phrases rape your ears and sow the ice incision
Adjectives of annihilation bury the point beyond redemption
Venomous verbs of ruthless candour plagiarise assassins fervour
Apocalyptic alphabet casting spell the creed of tempered diction
My friend, my friend - assassin
My friend, my friend - assassin
A friend in need is a friend that bleeds
A friend in need is a friend that bleeds
Let bitter silence infect the wound
Let bitter silence infect the wound
I am the assassin
I am the assassin
I am the assassin
Assassin!
You were a sentimental mercenary in a free fire zone
Parading a Hollywood conscience
You were a fashionable objector with a uniform fetish
Pavlovian slaver at the cash till ring of success
A non com observer
I, assassin, the collector - defector
So you resigned yourself to failure, my friend
And I emerged the chilling stranger, my friend
To eradicate the problem, my friend
Unsheathe the blade within the voice
Within the voice - within the voice…
And what do you call assassins who accuse assassins anyway, my friend?
She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your life without telling a lie
And she’s only noticed when she wants to be seen
She hides as a child
But she’s always a ninja to me
She can drop from above
And annoy her — they’ll grieve you
Has a cyanide tooth
She can always deceive you
And she’ll kill whom she wants and then hide in a tree
She can stand on a leaf
But she’s always a ninja to me
Oh–she takes care of herself
She can hide if she wants
And she’s always on time
Oh–and I’ll never find out
Just when did she get in?
She is so hard to find
Prof., did you write that one yourself? Because Google only returns this thread. 
In play:
Now listen up, she’s razor sharp
If she don’t get her way, she’ll slice you apart
Now she’s a cool, cool black
Moves like a cat
If you don’t get her game
You might not make it back
She’s got the looks that kill - that kill
She’s got the looks that kill - that kill
She’s got the looks that kill
She’s got the looks that kill
Now she’s bulletproof, keeps her motor clean
And believe me you, she’s a number thirteen
The church strikes midnight
She’s lookin’ louder and louder
She’s gonna turn on our juice, boy
So she turns on the power
She’s got the looks that kill - that kill
She’s got the looks that kill - that kill
She’s got the looks that kill
She’s got the looks that kill
Apparently a riff on Billy Joel’s “She’s Always a Woman”-I know because I’ve already uploaded it here myself. Tho the “ninja” thing appears to be either a mondegreen, or a joke on the part of El Professorio…
Andre has a red flag, Chiang Ching’s is blue
They all have hills to fly them on except for Lin Tai Yu
Dressing up in costumes, playing silly games
Hiding out in tree-tops shouting out rude names
-Whistling tunes we hide in the dunes by the seaside
-Whistling tunes we’re kissing baboons in the jungle
It’s a knockout
If looks could kill they probably will
In games without frontiers-wars without tears
If looks could kill they probably will
In games without frontiers-war without tears
Games without frontiers-war without tears
Jeux sans frontieres…
–Peter Gabriel, "Games Without Frontiers"
I get that, but thought it might be Weird Al or something. But putting the new lyrics in Google only returns this thread, the Billy Joel original, and a bunch of quotes about ninjas. 
In play:
Searching for certainty
When it’s such an unstable world
Searching for something good
And I’m looking for the real McCoy
Blueprint: That says that boy meets girl
Picture: Girl meets boy
A blueprint that says that the boy meets the girl
Picture in a magazine
Yes you’ve shown your feelings
Yes you’ve shown you’re tough
Said things worth believing
Tears are not enough
Tears are not enough
Tears are not enough
Slam that door, slap my face
But I don’t love you anymore
Dry your eyes, sink or swim
You surmise you can’t win
We all make great mistakes
Blueprint: That says that boy meets girl
Picture: Girl meets boy
A blueprint that says that the boy meets the girl
Picture in a magazine
Yes you’ve shown your feelings
Yes you’ve shown you’re tough
Said things worth believing
Tears are not enough
Tears are not enough
Tears are not enough
Would I lie
Should I lie
Could I lie to you?
Excuses had their uses
But now they’re all used up, all used up
Excuses had their uses
But now they’re all used up, all used up
– “Tears Are Not Enough”, ABC (1982)
[Not mine. It’s a filk song by Moshe’Z. Link: Always a Ninja | Moshe'Z Filk Songs]
In Play:
Look at my face, these tears ain’t dryin’.
All of the seasons and all of the days
All of the reasons why I’ve felt this way
So long…
So long
Then lost in that feeling I looked in your eyes
I noticed emotion and that you had cried
For me
I can see
What would touch me deeper…
Tears that fall from eyes that only cry?
Would it touch you deeper
Than tears that fall from eyes that know why?
A lifetime of questions, tears on your cheek
I tasted the answers and my body was weak
For you
The truth
What would touch me deeper…
Tears that fall from eyes that only cry?
Would it touch you deeper
Than tears that fall from eyes that know why?
–Rush, Tears
One more night
To bear this nightmare
What more do I have to say
Crying for me was never worth a tear
My lonely soul is only filled with fear
Long hours of loneliness
Between me and the sea
Losing emotion
Finding devotion
Should I dress in white and search the sea
As I always wished to be
One with the waves
Ocean Soul
Walking the tide line
I hear your name
It’s angels whispering
Something so beautiful it hurts
–Nightwish, "Ocean Souls"
Hello, Mirror
So glad to see you my friend, it’s been a while
Searching, Fearless
Where do I begin to heal this wound of self-denial?
“Face yourself man!”
“Brace yourself and trace your hell back!”
You’ve been blinded, living lie
A one way cold existence all the while
Now it’s time to stare the problem right between the eyes
You long lost child
I wanna feel your body breaking
Wanna feel your body breaking and shaking and left in the cold
I want to heal your conscience
Making a change to fix this dying soul
This dying soul
– “This Dying Soul”, Dream Theater (2003)
I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na, Na Nah)
- “Man in the Mirror”, Michael Jackson
With every sun that sets I am feeling more
Like a stranger on a foreign shore
With an eroding beach disappearing from underneath
And when my mirror speaks it never minces words
Because these eyes don’t shine half as bright
As they used to do and they haven’t for quite a while
Because I’m a man who hides from all that binds
And a mess of fading lines
And there’s a tangled thread inside my head
With nothing on either end
I always fall in love with an open door
With a horizon on an endless sea
As I look around the ones who were standing right in front of me
And then my mirror speaks with irreverence
Like a soldier I can’t command
It sees a child in the body of a full-grown man
And he’s a man who hides from all that binds
And a mess of fading lines
And there’s a tangled thread inside his head
With nothing on either end
There’s nothing on either end
A new position for a different view
And nothing changes but the slightest hues
And I am standing face to face
With a man who hides from all that binds
And a mess of fading lines
And there’s a tangled thread inside his head
With nothing on either end
I’m a man who hides from all that binds
And a mess of fading lines
And there’s a tangled thread inside my head
With nothing on either end
–Death Cab for Cutie "My Mirror Speaks"
That night Cutie called a cab.
Baby, don’t do it
She left her East Side room so drab.
Baby, don’t do it
She went out alone in town
Knowing it would make her lover frown.
Death cab for Cutie
Death cab for Cutie
Someone’s going to make you pay your fare.
The cab was racing through the night.
Baby, don’t do it
His eyes, they were keeping Cutie in sight.
Baby, don’t do it
When he saw Cutie it gave him a thrill
Don’t you know that baby cabs can kill?
Death cab for Cutie
Death cab for Cutie
Someone’s going to make you pay your fare.
Cutie, don’t you play with fate.
Don’t you leave your love alone.
If you go out on this date
His heart will turn to stone.
Bad girl Cutie, what have you done?
Baby, don’t do it
Slipping, sliding down on Highway 31.
Baby, don’t do it
The traffic lights change from green to red.
They tried to stop but they both wound up dead.
Death cab for Cutie
Death cab for Cutie
Someone’s going to make you pay your fare.
Someone’s going to make you pay your fare.
Someone’s going to make you pay your fare
Someone’s going to make you pay your fare.
- Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, "Death Cab for Cutie"