And when I’m dead, aye, and in my grave,
No costly tombstone will I have.
Just lay me down in my native peat,
With a jug of punch by my head and feet.
Oh, lay me down in Forest Lawn in a silver casket
with golden flowers over my head in a silver basket.
Let the drum and bugle corp play taps while cannons roar.
While sixteen liveried employees sell souvenirs from the funeral store.
I wanna go simply when I go. They’ll give me a simple funeral there, I know.
With a casket lined in fleece and the fireworks spelling out “Rest in Peace,”
Oh, take me when I’m gone to Forest Lawn.
Mama tries hard to pretend
Things will get better again
Somehow she’s keeping it all inside her
But finally the tears fill our eyes
And I know that somewhere tonight
She knows how much we really miss her
She sends her Mary off to school
And sits to watch TV
They’re talking about spending their lives together
The way it’s supposed to be
Then the baby cries, wakes her from her dream
She’s on her own
And when the lights go out it’s the hardest time
The hardest time to be alone
She does the car-pool, she PTAs
Doctors and dentists, she drives all day
When she was twenty-nine she delivered number three
And every Christmas card showed a perfect family
Everything runs right on time, years of practice and design
Spit and polish till it shines. He thinks he’ll keep her
Everything is so benign, safest place you’ll ever find
God forbid you change your mind. He thinks he’ll keep her
I cooked your food, I cleaned your house,
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind, unselfish, loving deeds?
HUH???
Well, you just wait, they’ll find you yet
And when they do they’ll put you
In the ASPCA, you mangy mutt!!!
My, my la de la,
Come on now, it ain’t too far
Tell your friends all around the world,
Ain’t no companion like a blue-eyed merle
Five foot two, eyes of blue,
Oh, what those five feet can do,
Has anybody seen my gal?
Be kind to your web footed friends,
For every duck may be somebody’s mother!
M is for the many things she gave me…
I don’t know why and I don’t know how
But she’s nobody’s baby now
I ain’t got nobody,
And nobody cares for me…
For days and nights, you sit around wondering,
“Where can she be?”
You’re hoiping that she will appear out of nowhere,
But you fail to see
All the hurt inside, the wounded pride
She went through for you.
You cheated and lied til her love slowly died,
And her heart just tore in two.
She was with you all along,
Behind you, right or wrong.
She tried to hold on, hold on,
But you went too far. Now she’s gone.
Tea for two,
And two for tea.
Me for you
And you for me.
Shave and a haircut,
Two bits!
I almost cut my hair
It happened just the other day
It was gettin’ kinda long
I could-a said, it was in my way
But I didn’t and I wonder why
I feel like letting my freak flag fly
And I feel like I owe it to someone
Give me it down to there, shoulder length or longer!
Get a haircut and get a real job
Clean your act up and don’t be a slob
Get it together like your big brother Bob
Get a haircut and get a real job
Why should I care
If I have to cut my hair
I have to move with the fashion
Or be outcast
They seek him here, they seek him there,
His clothes are loud, but never square.
It will make or break him so he’s got to buy the best,
Cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.
And when he does his little rounds,
Round the boutiques of London town,
Eagerly pursuing all the latest fads and trends,
Cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.