Yeah i’m a deer hunter. How do you do?
I got this deer hunting, rapping tale for you.
I’m so excited, it’s my favorite time of year.
I love to freeze my buns chasing trophy deer.
But don’t clap your hands to the stomping of the feet,
Cause he’s like me -he can’t keep a steady beat.
I got this great big knife, cause the hunting is my life
It’s my chance to drink beer and get away from the wife.
It’s the boys night out acting stupidly.
Say now, “Baby baby, don’t you think maybe… how bout you and me?”
Well we partied all night, never made it to our bunks
And I was sitting in the tree stand on the tree dead drunk
Windmill blowing 45, temp 20 below,
I was freezing to death, then it started to snow.
So i got down from the tree stand, start heading for the truck.
And that’s when i seen it there: the 30 point buck!
Well, he was 8 foot tall, weighed 12,000 pounds.
With every step, there was a shaking on the ground
He was so beautiful, strutted right out of my dreams.
He was created by God just for outdoor magazines
Now i’m not much for thinking. No, i don’t do it often.
But i had an idea: to put that 30 pointer in his coffin.
I shot Bambi’s mom
then I went and shot all of his little friends
they looked good to eat
had enough food to last
the entire week
Food, glorious food,
We’re anxious to try it,
Three banquets a day,
Our favourite diet!
Just picture a great big steak,
Fried, roasted or stewed,
Oh! Food, wonderful food, marvellous food, glorious food!
Miss Otis regrets she’s unable to dine today, Madam.
There was Johnny McEldoo and McGee and me
And a couple or two or three went on a spree one day.
We had a bob or two, which we knew how to blew,
And the beer and whiskey flew til we all felt gay
We visited McCann’s, Maclaman’s, Humpty Dan’s
We then went into Swan’s, our stomachs for to pack.
We ordered up a feed, which indeed, we did need
And we finished it with speed, but we still felt slack
Johnny McEldoo turned pale as a Jew,
As a plate of Irish stew he soon put out of sight
He shouted out “Encore!” with a roar for some more,
For he’d never felt before such a keen appetite.
We ordered eggs and ham, bread and jam, for to cram.
But him, we couldn’t ram, though we tried our level best
For everthing they brought, cold or hot, mattered not,
It went down him like a shot and he still stood the test.
Today’s Friday.
Today’s Friday.
Friday’s fish.
Thursday’s shepherd’s pie.
Wednesday’s roast beef.
Tuesday’s soup.
Monday is washing day.
Is everybody happy?
You bet your life we are!
Everybody’s happy nowadays
It’s good, isn’t it grand, isn’t it great
Isn’t it swell, isn’t it fun, isn’t it nowadays
There’s men, everywhere jazz, everywhere booze
Everywhere life, everywhere joy, everywhere nowadays
I’ve been to:
Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota,
Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota,
Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma,
Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, La Paloma,
Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo,
Tocapillo, Baranquilla, and Perdilla, I’m a killer.
I’ve been everywhere, man.
I’ve been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert’s bare, man.
I’ve breathed the mountain air, man.
Of travel I’ve had my share, man.
I’ve been everywhere.
We’re off on the Road to Morocco
In '69 I was 21 and I called the road my own.
I got my first real six-string,
Bought it at the five-and-dime.
Played it till my fingers bled,
Was the summer of '69.
Me and some guys from school,
Had a band and we tried real hard.
Jimmy quit, Jody got married,
I shoulda known we’d never get far.
Oh, when I look back now,
That summer seemed to last forever.
And if I had the choice,
Yeah, I’d always wanna be there.
Those were the best days of my life.
Shakedown 1979
Cool kids never have the time
On a live wire right up off the street
You and I should meet
Since Bruce Springsteen,
Madonna, way before Nirvana,
There was U2 and Blondie
Music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she’s not cool
But she still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985
Lady Madonna, children at your feet
Wonder how you manage to make ends meet.
Ave Maria, gratia plena, Maria, gratia plena, Maria, gratia plena
The most beautiful sound I ever heard:
Maria, Maria
All the beautiful sounds of the earth in a single word:
Maria, Maria, Maria!
Black Maria, you scare me so
I feel as though my heart stop dead
You’re a liar, this I know
I watch you go around my head
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one.