My Mama talked-a to me, tried to tell me how to live.
But I don’t listen to her cause my head’s like a sieve.
My Daddy, he disowned me cause I wear my sister’s clothes.
He caught me in the bathroom with a pair of panty hose.
The basketball coach, he done kicked me off the team,
For wearing high-heel sneakers and acting like a queen.
The world’s coming to an end- I don’t even care,
As long as I can have a limo and my orange hair.
And it don’t bother me if people think I’m funny,
Cause I’m a big rock star and I’m making lots of money money money MONEY!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I’m so bloody rich!
I own apartment buildings and shoppiong centers! HAHA!
I only know 3 chords!
Watch me burn, you fools!
That ain’t working, that’s the way to do it.
You play your guitar on that MTV.
That ain’t working, that’s the way to do it,
Money for nothing and the chicks for free.
Poverty stricken but still I’m a-stickin’ to the things I know to be facts
One day it’s feathers and the next day chicken while I’m pickin’ my yakety axe
Ev’rybody says that I never will get far, keepin’ out of work by pickin’ this guitar
Livin’ on a shoe-string, puttin’ off things like a shave and a hair cut
Clouds can make the wind blow
Bugs can make the grass grow
So
There you go
These are the little-known facts that
Now you know
Did you know, that 1 out of 4 Americans has appeared on tv?
Did you know, 61% of all hits on the internet are on sex-sites?
Everyday 21 newborn babies will be given to the wrong parents
The average person swallows 8 spiders in a year
Cannabis is the most widely abused drug in the world
The average person laughs 13 times a day
Elvis was originally blond
The average age of first intercourse is 15.3 years old
The average erect penis is 5,2" long - and 4,2" circumcised
Eskimoes use refrigerators to keep food from freezing
41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously
20% of all females have had at least 1 homosexual experience
Did you know, that there is no such thing as an anti-wrinkle-creme?
This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
- the bare facts of the life we live
You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.
Hope for the best, expect the worst!
Some drink champagne, some die of thirst.
No way of knowing, no way of showing,
Hope for the best, expect the worst!
Hand me the wine and the dice,
I want my carnival now,
While I have thirst and lust for living!
So gather all you can reap,
Before you’re under the plough –
The hand of death is unforgiving!
Hand me the wine and the dice,
While there are grapes on the vine –
Life is a round of endless pleasures!
The end is always in sight,
But it tastes better with wind –
Why pay your life in tiny measures?
Hand me the wine and the dice,
The time is racing away –
There’s not a taste that’s not worth trying!
And if tommorow it ends,
I won’t have wasted today –
I will have lived like I am dying.
A lady doesn’t wander all over the room
And blow on some other guy’s dice
So let’s keep the party polite
Never get out of my sight
Luck be a lady tonight
I shall marry the miller’s son,
Pin my hat on a nice piece of property.
Friday nights, for a bit of fun,
We’ll go dancing.
Meanwhile…
It’s a wink and a wiggle and a giggle in the grass
And I’ll trip the light fandango,
A pinch and a diddle in the middle of what passes by.
It’s a very short road
From the pinch and the punch
To the paunch and the pouch
And the pension.
It’s a very short road
To the ten thousandth lunch
And the belch and the grouch
And the sigh.
In the meanwhile,
There are mouths to be kissed
Before mouths to be fed,
And a lot in between
In the meanwhile.
And a girl ought to celebrate what passes by.
Mother, mother how’s the family?
I’m just calling to say hello.
How’s the weather?
How’s my father?
Am I lonely?
Heavens no.
Mother, mother are you listening?
Just a phone call to ease your mind.
Life is perfect, never better.
Distance making the heart grow fond.
When you sent me off to see the world,
Were you scared that I might get hurt?
Would I try a little tobacco?
Would I keep on hiking up my skirt?
I’m hungry,
I’m dirty,
I’m losing my mind.
Everything’s fine!
Mother has remained
Behind me as I write
A second ago
She gently touched my shoulder
As she moved away
I took this, a silent approval
Of what I’ve written
She’s now sitting in her chair
With an open book in her lap
But I know she’s not seeing the words
Her thoughts, her thoughts
Are far away somewhere with you
It’s very quiet here, too quiet
I walked into your room last night
And the walls seemed to be asking
For the sound of your voice
As much as I am aching
For the feel of your embrace
So please come back to us
We love you, call collect
I’m sittin’ in the railway station
Got a ticket for my destination
On a tour of one night stands
My suitcase and guitar in hand
And every stop is neatly planned
For a poet and a one man band
Homeward bound
I wish I was
Homeward bound
Home, where my thought’s escaping
Home, where my music’s playing
Home, where my love lies waiting
Silently for me
Everyday’s an endless stream
Of cigarettes and magazines
And each town looks the same to me
The movies and the factories
And every stranger’s face I see
Reminds me that I long to be…
Oh the prairie lights are burnin’ bright
The Chinook wind is a-movin’ in
Tomorrow night I’ll be Alberta bound
Though I’ve done the best I could
My old luck ain’t been so good and
Tomorrow night I’ll be Alberta bound
We’re gonna tear across these blue Alberta skies!
We’re gonna ride forever!
You can’t keep horsemen in a cage.
Our country reeks of trees
Our yaks are really large
And they smell like rotting beef carcasses
And we have to clean up after them
And our saddle sores are the best
We proudly wear womens clothing
And searing sand blows up our skirts
And the buzzards, they soar overhead
And poisonous snakes will devour us whole
Our bones will bleach in the sun
And we will probably go to (censored)
And that is our great reward
For being the
Ro-oy-oy-al
Canadian
Kilted
YAKSMEN!
But now I’m building sandcastles in the sand
Thought I could fly when I held your hand.
Baby smiled like a tiny child
She talks her head off, and the land lies wild
Tossed and turned on a teardrop sea
And all the dark clowns who are following me
And they fly, she pointed up into the sky
And you can’t touch them if you try
And they fly
Baby left as she lost her breath
Hastens off to some unknown death
Trapped inside her painted eyes
Takes herself into a new sunrise
All my life’s a circle;
Sunrise and sundown;
The Moon rolls thru the nighttime;
Till the daybreak comes around.
Singin’ to the world, what’s the point in puttin’ it down?
There’s so much love to share
I’m singin’ to the world, don’t you see it all comes around?
The feeling’s everywhere
We’ve been closin’ our eyes, day after day
Covered in clouds, losin’ our way
Hey, but it’s daybreak
If you wanna believe, it can be daybreak
Ain’t no time to grieve
Said it’s daybreak, if you’ll only believe
And let it shine, shine, shine
All around the world (gotta sing, sing it to the world)