# Game: superpowers by username, part 2 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 8, 2002, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909 "2002-07-08T14:24:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/61 "2002-07-09T11:03:03Z")
**zephonith** is one of the newer members of the Justice Dopers. With both abs and buns of steel zephonith rules the back alleys of Aukland instilling fear in jaywalkers and people who refuse to curb their dogs. The ones who live in greatest fear however are the neighborhood children who dread zephonith’s babysitting abilities. When not out fighting crime zephonith roams the forests nearby as mild-mannered Buck Bark, working for the _Autumn Planet_ and nibbling on berries and leaves. His only disguise? A thick pair of glasses. Leaving many to wonder, why a deer would be wearing a thick pair of glasses? Nonetheless if your ever in danger just give the call of the wild, those ears aren’t decortions you know. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/62 "2002-07-09T13:56:50Z")
**Osiris** , dread Egyptian Lord of the Dead; faster than a speeding scarab, more powerful than a Sphinx, able to leap tall pyramids in a single bound. **Osiris** fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice and the Straight Dope[sup]TM[/sup] way. His primary weapon is the ability to raise the spirit of any mortal who ever lived, which not only allows him to solve the mysteries of the Universe by simply asking somebody who was there, but makes him great fun at parties. ---
**Author:** ![aquariusrhimme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@aquariusrhimme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aquariusrhimme)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/63 "2002-07-09T14:54:59Z")
Minor Irritant, who was afflicted at birth with a highly contagious skin infection on his palms, attacks enemies by giving them a slighty annoying rash on the insides of their elbows. The ichy sensation slowly drives them mad until they break and turn themselves in. His weakness is a cooling, soothing topical creme formulated with camphor and menthol (Only $9.29 at walgreens). ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/64 "2002-07-09T15:24:10Z")
Stiletto has the power to sharpen any blade and his (or possibly her, no one has been bold enough to make a try given their Parts might get shredded) fingers become razor talons to shred unwary posters. ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/65 "2002-07-09T15:28:33Z")
\*\* aquariusrhimme \*\* a superhero with fishy gills who can breathe underwater, yet who can be foiled by his/her? desire to lick the anal orifices of guppies. **LurkMeister** bastard child of the Kinkos copy man of SNL fame–known for his cutesy way of talking. Able to hide in any dimly lit place. ---
**Author:** ![flairgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7c8e57/32.png) [@flairgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flairgun)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/66 "2002-07-09T16:39:34Z")
Previously, **BottledBlondJeanie** was but a lowly administrative assistant working deep in the bowels of **EvilPharmaceutical Inc** , until one day, due to a mix up by a dreaming astronaut who thought she was someone else, she stumbled across details of EvilPharmaceutical’s plans for world domination through a horribly convoluted plan involving a new addictive hair conditioner which leaves it’s victim’s hair soft but ever so manageable. Whilst trying to escape from the deadly (yet strangely cute) bewigged robot guard dogs, she stumbled into a vat of strawberryblonde #49. Since then she has used her secret identity to take down EvilPharmaceutical from the inside, using her powers of all-encompassing ditziness to confuse anyone who gets in her way. ---
**Author:** ![Victory\_Candescence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Victory\_Candescence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Victory_Candescence)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/67 "2002-07-09T23:47:30Z")
**flairgun** with the astonishing power to ignite into bright orange flames, _without dying_! Originally just an ordinary person, **flairgun** was suddenly given these superpowers when **flairgun** ’s DNA was mixed with the DNA of a flare-gun! (It was one of those living, breathing, reproducing flare guns. You know, the kind that has DNA) ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/68 "2002-07-10T00:02:50Z")
Do me next! Do me next! **looks around** Not like that, you perverts. Criminy! ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/69 "2002-07-10T05:22:43Z")
::stepping up to **do** M. Ellis:: So named because because his adopted parents found him wrapped in swaddling clothes at the feet of the Statue of Liberty. All growed up now, Michael foils darkness everywhere with his handy lighter, offering a flame to forgetful parents for their child’s birthday candles, showing the way to the bathroom for small children when the power goes out, and brightening the day for the local crackheads just trying to get their fix. Mr. Ellis anticipates being allowed to play with matches in the coming months. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/70 "2002-07-10T05:34:46Z")
Whups. Can’t forget the mysterious **Recursion**. A mild mannered programmer by day, at night he becomes a supervillian’s nightmare. Taking his mad programming skillz to the extreme, **Recursion** is able to make any criminal repeat his last mistake, repeat his last mistake, repeat his last mistake… Break… until the authorities arrive to cart the looping lawbreaker off to jail. **Recursion** is distinguished by his black form-fitting outfit with a lethal Do…While emblazoned in large white letters on his chest. ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/71 "2002-07-10T05:35:33Z")
Horseflesh is able to mutate into a horse, or have any kind of horse-like strength in the flesh. Yeah, have fun with me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/72 "2002-07-10T05:49:22Z")
JimSox5, a man few others can be, is able to create socks out of thin air if the need should arise. Also there comes the need for an offensive weapon aside from ninchuck socks, using the odorous tendancy of feet he can create socks so smelly they put gas grenades out of style. “He is the sock which other socks wish to be - he is JimSock” ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/73 "2002-07-10T07:28:57Z")
Ooo, can’t pass this one up. Straight outta New Tokyo, **ronincyperbunk** fights computer crime at its source: inside the Matrix. With an avatar resembling a rogue samurai (though clad in unfashionable neon purple & pink armor), he rides the electron beam pathways with his ICE-sword drawn, ready to strike down hackers, crackers, phreakers and other informatic thieves. In his off time he frequents Internet cafes and plays incessant Mortal Kombat games Tron-style. Somebody please redo me. **JimSox5** has turned me into a centaur. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/74 "2002-07-10T07:53:33Z")
**Horseflesh** Rich, cultured, millionare playboy horse breader by day, costumed crusader by night! An accomplished rider who discovered at an early age that he can communicate telepathicly with horses, he rides a mystical black stallion, named **Midnight** , through the city fighting crime anywhere he finds it. Many who see him in action feel that he must be part horse himself, due to the speed and strength he displays beating up on the bad guys. He also can finish off a bag of oats in record time. ---
**Author:** ![zephonith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@zephonith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephonith)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/75 "2002-07-10T08:03:01Z")
Horseflesh: Kicks like a horse, runs like a horse, hung like a horse! Come on, what more do you want? 😉 > [@](#): > > His only disguise? A thick pair of glasses. I’m a **she** I wear glasses though. 1 out of 2 ain’t so bad I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/76 "2002-07-10T09:50:53Z")
Tsk, tsk. Looked in your profile, reviewed all of your posts (you did a LOT of word association!) did the best I could. So I’d say 9 out of 10 in total. Although I see I no longer have male in my profile, :smack: better put that back. ---
**Author:** ![zephonith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@zephonith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephonith)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/77 "2002-07-10T10:58:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Osiris \* > \*\*Tsk, tsk. Looked in your profile, reviewed all of your posts (you did a LOT of word association!) did the best I could. So I’d say 9 out of 10 in total. \*\* Ok, I admit, you did do your research. My bad. :smack: I like word association ok? It pads my meagre post count 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/78 "2002-07-10T12:37:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GIGObuster \* > \*\*After surviving many attempts early on her life by the hands of the evil Emerinian elves, **elfkin477** became the very rare cross of human and elf ever to obtain magical powers. Her powers are useful primarily for fighting the trolls that infest the SDMB from time immemorial. \*\* Not as rare as you would think- besides I got mine 470 conversions before that wippersnapper 477. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/79 "2002-07-11T01:07:01Z")
Okay, can somone please write **Linus Van Pelt** a new role? F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/80 "2002-07-11T02:08:27Z")
**Linus Van Pelt** : Quotes the bible while his security blanket calms and soothes the criminal element. Ruffians, hooligans, and ne’er-do-wells are transformed into helpless babes, ready for carting off to jail. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909.md?page=5)