# Game: superpowers by username, part 2 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 8, 2002, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909 "2002-07-08T14:24:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/101 "2002-07-12T13:04:23Z")
Bad News Baboon reporting for Channel 8 news. In tonight’s story, we shall meet two Straight Dope Super Heros. Our first super hero is **todd33rpm** , who has the ability to speed up or slow down at whim. **todd33rpm** , tell the viewers about your powers. t33: well, Babs, I discovered my powers as a child. I was at an amusement park - Dale’s Park o’ fun- I couldn’t bear for the good times to end. I yelled out 78 rpm! and the world around me started to slooooooooow down. When the lines were long, I yelled: 45! and then everyone started to zip around like flies. It was a day I will never forget. Babs: Interesting, Indeed. Who is your nemesis? t33: well, that would be CD Man. He has no use for me he says. He says he intends to wipe me out. Babs: wow. That is pretty harsh. t33:no kidding. But with my faithful sidekick: Victrola, we shall overcome the evil CD Man. Babs: standing next to **todd33rpm** , is \*\*zweisamkeit \*\*, also known as “The Confuser”. Z: Hello Babs, good morning to you. Babs: Tell us about your super powers. tell us about your unpronounceable name. Z: I am the zweisamkeit the Confuser. My name is strikes fear in the hearts of all evil doers. Only the truly good at heart can prounce my name. I go from store to store filling out forms. I send e-mails asking for people to call me back “How do you say that?” “Oh jeesh, how does one pronounce sdkfj[sieorehr?” yes indeed, a cold sweat starts to over take my enemies. Then they start to try to pronounce my name and their tongue becomes twisted and tied. They are rendered helpless, I tell you. Babs: Is it true you are a triplet? Z: Yes, I have two brothers:zweifredkeit, an accountant, and zweitomkeit, a sherpa. Babs:well, there you have it folks. and now, back to you Jim… ---
**Author:** ![ForbiddenFruitsalad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@ForbiddenFruitsalad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForbiddenFruitsalad)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/102 "2002-07-12T17:31:39Z")
Supervillain **Bad News Baboon** uses his main power, the ability to travel almost instantly to any location in the known universe, to deliver the mind-shattering bad news he wields as a weapon. Mass destruction and depression is certain when this swift harbinger of dire information appears, usually followed by his sidekick, Awful Weather Report Rhesus. ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/103 "2002-07-12T18:41:38Z")
Lurking deep in the rain forests of the Amazon, **ForbiddenFruitSalad** plots world conquest. This, of course, will be accomplished by using the unspeakable power of Strawberry Strength combined with Orange Obsession and Cantelope Conquest. Now it’s time, almost time… ---
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4da419/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jass)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/104 "2002-07-12T23:59:59Z")
Beelzebubba: Master of dark magic and banjo plucking. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/105 "2002-07-13T12:33:33Z")
I know I am a dark, shadowy figure with a propensity for hanging out with wraiths and undescribable horrors, but am I so intangible nobody can link me with a set of powers? ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909/106 "2002-07-14T05:08:09Z")
**Derleth** the Fey - Once a respected toadie of the undead superpowers, he was eventually shunned for being _too_ fey. He roams the countryside now, predicting the time of death of amused onlookers as they throw him scraps of food. He lives in a damp cave plotting revenge on his former masters and at the moment commands a small army of insects and rodents. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username-part-2/117909.md?page=5)