# game - superpowers by username **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 20, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422 "2001-06-20T03:02:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/41 "2001-06-20T12:28:00Z")
Ukulele Ike : Uke Ike travels the land, a misnomer. For his weapon of choice is not a ukulele, but in fact, an alpenhorn. Yes, the Alpenhorn of JUSTICE. With a firm grasp of the mundane, as well as a smattering of the esoteric, he has the ability to leave foes wondering if they should laugh or go back to school. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/42 "2001-06-20T13:09:44Z")
**Manservant Hecubus** : strange visitor from another dimension, possessed of the racial ability to wear lots of tight leather without chafing. With his enthusiastic circus orphan sidekick, Petey, he fights a losing battle against the tides of Darkness. Can he recover the Ball Gag of Justice before Dominatrix Bambegesti takes full control of the Leather Council and exiles his family to the Forbidden Zone? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/43 "2001-06-20T13:16:30Z")
All flee from the mighty Slortar! There is no stopping the Mighty Slortar! Half Dinosaur Half Alien and not very nice to bad guys. Slortar will cover evil doers in tar which spews hot from his nostrils. (and he’s go big pointy teeth!) Mighty Slortar ask for it by name! ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/44 "2001-06-20T13:48:16Z")
On the plains of the Serengetti, Zebra was merely waiting prey for the carnivores roaming the savannah. But after the forced relocation to the New York Zoo and the radiation incident Zebra is now Zebra, Evil’s Stripey Skinned Foe! With his incredible camoflauge ability, Zera, Evil’s Stripey Skinned Foe! waits hidden in front of white picket fences at night for crime to occur then leaps out to trample them severly. No criminal is safe from Zebra, Evil’s Stripey Skinned Foe! ---
**Author:** ![Piell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/34f0e0/32.png) [@Piell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Piell)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/45 "2001-06-20T13:48:22Z")
Zebra- Ability to turn everything into black and white! ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/46 "2001-06-20T13:53:35Z")
**Piell** : Able to warp space and time whenever someone calls his name, then he says, **"Well, surprise, surprise, surprise!"** _Okay, so it’s a Gomer Pyle reference. Hopefully someone got it_ ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/47 "2001-06-20T14:05:44Z")
**Superdude!** He’s like, whoa, y’know, dude, totally gnarly, man, right? Like, dude, he’s like, super and whatnot, really totally rad ifyaknowhamean, right dude? Whoa! ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/48 "2001-06-20T14:10:32Z")
**Verrain** , the Truthteller. Sent to us by an advanced alien race, **Verrain** always tells the absolute truth…and sends secret reports on our society back to his motherland. To date he has made 12 evil-doers cry, and has forced 6 more to look deep into their souls, causing their eventual repentance. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/49 "2001-06-20T14:16:13Z")
**GRAVITY** able to make even the funniest situations a horrifying event…and if you don’t comply…he’ll drop you like a bag of dirt. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/50 "2001-06-20T14:20:33Z")
Gravity - has the power to do, um, something or other with gravity. Oh wait, I know. Let’s us always realize the gravity of the situation against the supervillians before we head into battle. Still not quite right. Oh, what the hell. Is able to control gravity so that supevillians are crushed, able to fly, and terd always falls quickly with little resistance or smooshiness. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/51 "2001-06-20T14:24:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > \*\*Children, your milk never again must have curds. Gentlemen, your coffee no longer need be chewy! Ladies, your margaritas no longer have beach sand at the bottom, because ultrafilter is on the way! > > Tripler\*\* Yeah, that’s going in my signature. Now if only I can remember to click the button. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/52 "2001-06-20T14:31:17Z")
racinchikki: Fastest girl alive (cutest too!) Gravity: He’s like one heavy dude, man! Everybody takes him seriously. Badtz Maru: So bad tempered even Super-Villians avoid him! ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/53 "2001-06-20T14:33:29Z")
In her fortress of solitude deep beneath Lake Michigan, **jarbabyj** contemplates her fate: to be the Champion of the Windy City! With nothing but formaldehyde to aid her, she bottles two-headed pigs, one-eyed goats, and other misbegotten freaks of nature for the educational titillation of every man, woman and child! But wait… her talents don’t stop there! Who puts thugs in a pickle? jarbabyj! Who puts a lid on crime? jarbabyj! Who tells creepy men on the El to “can it,” and sees it through? jarbabyj! Yes, the citizens of Chicago can breathe a little easier, because they have jarbabyj to preserve them. ---
**Author:** ![PolishSausage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@PolishSausage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PolishSausage)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/54 "2001-06-20T14:38:54Z")
jarbabyj ~ visitor from another planet, sent to save the earth from itself! Armed with her dual protonic ionic bionic multi-sync phaZers, an uncanny ability to create puns with bizarre and terrifying leaps in logic, a spine crushing libido, and a killer ass, she defeats all who would be foolish enough to stand against her! She is our greatest hope for peace, justice, and a killer ass! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/55 "2001-06-20T14:38:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Beadalin \* > Who puts thugs in a pickle? jarbabyj! BWHAHAHAH…finally, a sig I can settle on! jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/56 "2001-06-20T14:42:56Z")
**Beadalin!** Able to string anything together with leather thongs and beads. And when you’re wrapped up you become helpless. A mere thrall to the will of… **Beadalin!** ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/57 "2001-06-20T14:53:47Z")
**Wolverine** possessed of uncharted regenerative capabilities and an adamanti…What? Not that Wolverine? All right. **Wolverine** , capable of spewing an incredibly noxious and somewhat corrosive musk from somewhere in his nether regions, is the bane of wrongdoers everywhere (except maybe the ones with no sense of smell–and for them, there’s always the teeth). ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/58 "2001-06-20T15:02:17Z")
**Jonathan Chance** –this one is gonna be tough. Hope it works. Having spent almost his entire life watching TV, this mild-mannered gardener by day becomes Jonathan Chance by night, fighting crime by applying the methods of the world’s greatest TV detectives. Evildoers quake at the sound of his name, knowing full well that once caught in the infra-red beam of his remote, they will be brought to justice. The action of Mannix, the mind of Harry-O, and the trenchcoat of Columbo; they and others all come together in the TV-directed crimefighting gardener… **Jonathan Chance!** ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/59 "2001-06-20T15:06:16Z")
Spoons! Whenever you need to scoop something, there is Spoons! And endless supply of flatware from the forgotten lunchbags of elementary students across the world. Spoons to the rescue! ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/60 "2001-06-20T15:14:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Inky- \* > **He was never supposed to survive…** That’s a [**She**](http://65.69.77.33/files/pictures/fierra4.jpg), dammit! **Medea’s Child** able to chop people up, boil them & resurrect them years younger (& still makes a tasty soup too!). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422.md?page=4)