# game - superpowers by username **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 20, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422 "2001-06-20T03:02:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/81 "2001-06-21T00:32:40Z")
**dubs** with the ability to translate any movie, no matter how bad into any language, no matter how obscure. ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/82 "2001-06-21T00:48:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by slortar \* > > **Skerri:** Combining the awesome skat vocalizations of Mel Torme and the wherry-boating skills of a champion rower, Skerri stands ready to bebop those bad guys into oblivions. Villains and crooks alike have learn the fear the sight of Skerri, skimming to the scene of the crime in his “light, swift rowboat built for one person and often used in racing.” \*\* Hey **slortar** , I am a **girl** … But I kind of like the idea of bebopping the bad guys! Now, if you had said \*\*Ella Fitzgerald \*\*, that would be cool. ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/83 "2001-06-21T01:00:05Z")
**Eutychus55** , bearing the great powers and awesome responsibility of the **Mod-Elite**! with the ability to rewrite posts as is needed, he corrects grammatical errors in the creations of the multitudes. bearing also the great powers of _Thread Adjustment_, he may relocate threads to their appropriate realms; nay, he bears the power to wholly CLOSE a thread of evil, and cause it to drop back into the abyss. he also holds the very existence of the Millions in his hands, bearing the strength to Ban the infidels, exiling the darkness, the Trolls back to the Void. Honor this paragon of virtue, for he is the savior of all things Good, Just, and SDMB! ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/84 "2001-06-21T13:12:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skerri \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by slortar \* > > > > **Skerri:** Combining the awesome skat vocalizations of Mel Torme (or Ella Fitzgerald) and the wherry-boating skills of a champion rower, Skerri stands ready to bebop those bad guys into oblivion. Villains and crooks alike have learned to fear the sight of Skerri, skimming to the scene of the crime in her “light, swift rowboat built for one person and often used in racing.” \*\* > > Hey **slortar** , I am a **girl** … But I kind of like the idea of bebopping the bad guys! Now, if you had said \*\*Ella Fitzgerald \*\*, that would be cool. \*\* I humbly abase myself. Even though I am a hot-tar-spewing space alien/dinosaur, my might would do little against one who can swiftly row in from nowhere and bop me into submission. I tremble. 😃 Also note the grammatical corrections above so I don’t look like a total retard, although I could simply blame that on my half-reptilian background and devour anyone who complained. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/85 "2001-06-21T14:33:06Z")
**saepiroth** has been granted the mystic power to cloud men’s minds who try to figure out what the dickens her name refers to. Aided by her comical sidekick FatCat, she stalks the land confusing evil-doers and padding the post count of deserving posters. All hail **saepiroth** , minion of light! ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/86 "2001-06-22T02:57:42Z")
Shodan! Half Samurai! Half Giant Pterodactyl-Bird Thingy That Looks Like A Guy In A Rubber Suit And Fights Godzilla! Have a care, evil-doers! **SHODAN** stalks the city by night! ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/87 "2001-06-22T03:23:22Z")
What? All I get is the ability to fry foods in grease!? _sigh_ Doesn’t anyone here know anything about Norse mythology? Btw, the **e** in my name is pronounced as a long **a** sound like in the word, _plate_. Oh, were was I? Ah, **Kilt-wearin’ man** , once a mild-mannered Scotsman, was accidently exposed to a set of radioactive bagpipes; now has the ability to toss telephone poles incredible distances, confuse his enemies by talking with an accent so thick you can cut it with a knife and, once an hour, magically produce a pint of the best whiskey you’ve ever tasted! ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/88 "2001-06-22T03:26:59Z")
Why, it’s… KILT-WEARIN’ MAN! Able to fight crime with his precision caber-tossing skills… Evil-doers, you haven’t known fear until you’ve seen the business end of a telephone pole hurtling towards your head at breakneck speed! Meanwhile, **Jonathan Chance** has the amazing ability to alter the laws of probability. Schroedinger’s Cat will now and forever be safe from cruel thought experiments! ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/89 "2001-06-22T03:33:32Z")
[sum]Why, it’s **drewbert** , able to… um… simulpost.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/90 "2001-06-22T03:49:56Z")
It’s **drewbert**! Able to disarm enemies with unexpected superpowers hidden behind a crew cut and thick-rimmed glasses! And his alter-ego, he of the bent necktie! Able to slay stupid bosses and evil HR directors with the stroke of pen! Able to silence makeup-laden coworkers with a well-aimed can of beer to the skull! AND, most amazing of all, can simultaneously star in both a sitcom and a syndicated comic strip. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/91 "2001-06-22T05:09:42Z")
By day she is a burr in her co-worker’s sides, at night Cranky takes to the streets in her 55 cadillac that she calls the Geezermobile. Her main weapon is the walker of wondrous power which she applies generously to evildoers. When threatened she is able to shield herself with the bedpan of invincibility. By speaking the words " Back in my day…" she can bring any evil doer to their knees. Definately a force to be reckoned with. ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/92 "2001-06-22T08:53:16Z")
Behold the mighty **Feynn,** who can convincingly pretend to be anything or anyone at any time! All hail the great chameleon **Feynn!** **Feynn** resides in a secret Canadian temple, appearing to be a Nobel Prize-winning Physicist named Richard. If you look carefully, you’ll probably still miss **slortar,** a dinosaur so clever he is able to hide behind a sloth. While peace-loving, **slortar** will eat anyone who disrupts his rest. ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/93 "2001-06-22T10:44:50Z")
AlbertRose…who mixes old fashioned practicality, with a power over vegetation that makes any plant murderous to his enemies. His power is strongest with members of the rose family, and it has taken entire police departments 24 hours or more to free villains from the tangles of thorns. ---
**Author:** ![Morrison\_s\_Lament](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Morrison\_s\_Lament](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrison_s_Lament)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/94 "2001-06-22T11:23:09Z")
Fierra - Ehm… can speak spanish… I suck at this 😃 — G. Raven ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/95 "2001-06-22T13:26:39Z")
**Morrison’s Lament** - A bug-infested copy of the lamest Windows NT you’ve ever seen, belonging to a bloke called Morrison. With this, Morrison is even able to introduce viruses to alien motherships that are normally only compatible with Mac Powerbooks. pan ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/96 "2001-06-22T13:59:10Z")
**kabbes** Giant mutated cabbage who uses his powers to retaliate against all you can eat salad bars. Has the ability to shoot cole slaw from his hands and super-vegetable strength. ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/97 "2001-06-22T14:19:59Z")
It’s **Amp**! With the power to project music at any volume! Bad guys everywhere, take heed, or risk being subjected to Britney Spears at 120 decibels! ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/98 "2001-06-22T14:38:22Z")
::flexes his mightly parsnips, whilst causing traffic havoc with his taxi powers:: pan ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/99 "2001-06-22T18:18:39Z")
Manhattan: Proves that one man _can_ be an island. Evil doers beware or you too will become lost in Manhattan! Chronos: Master of Time and Space! Ed Zotti: Evil criminal overlord in charge of the infamous “SDMB Nostra”. Working behind the scenes to rule the world. (Reputedly rose to power after capturing the omniscient space alien Cecil Adams) TubaDiva: Brings villians to their knees with her tuba playing powers! JillGat: A girl? A gun? Which is she? No one knows. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2001, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422/100 "2001-06-22T18:48:26Z")
The very mention of **Coldfire** ’s name strikes fear into the heart of evildoers. No one who has suffered his wrath remains sane enough to talk of his powers, but rumors abound that they are connected to the mysterious temple of Syrinx. What do you get when you cross a biting wit and Russian nobility? **Czarcazm** , who renders his opponents defenseless with his caustic speech, and calls upon the Red Guard to annihilate them! **UncleBeer** is a superhero’s superhero. He doesn’t actually have any superpowers; he just provides guidance and beer. **Arnold Winkelried** , **John Corrado** , and **Lynn Bodoni** are collectively The Bravest People On Earth. Though they have no superpowers, they fight crime on a nightly basis, and don’t even feel the need to hide their true identities. They are aided by the (relatively) mysterious duo of **David B** and **C K Dexter Haven**. Assuming I haven’t forgotten all the Latin I once knew, **Gaudere** brings down her opponents with infectious joy. **Alphagene** and **TVeblen** both have unknown powers at the time of this post. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-superpowers-by-username/69422.md?page=6)