# Game - Which would win in a fight? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2002, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682 "2002-09-02T16:08:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![MrAndrewV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@MrAndrewV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAndrewV)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2002, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/101 "2002-09-22T22:06:06Z")
Gladiotors. Not only do they have superb training methods and loads of steroids but they also have a team of expert script writers. You cant fight that kind of power. Nelson Mandel VS Mother Theresa ---
**Author:** ![MrAndrewV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@MrAndrewV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAndrewV)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2002, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/102 "2002-09-22T22:13:37Z")
Gladiotors. Not only do they have superb training methods and loads of steroids but they also have a team of expert script writers. You cant fight that kind of power. Nelson Mandel VS Mother Theresa ---
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2002, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/103 "2002-09-22T22:13:37Z")
**The Gladiators** because at least they _occasionally_ stop their opponents, plus the Gladiators had chicks. “Eep! Ock! Ork! Aa-Aa! Eep! Ock! Ork Aa-Aa!” vs. “Manamana. Babeepbedeep. Manamana. Babeedeepbeep. Manamana. Babeebedeepdeebeedeepdeebeepdeebeep.” ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2002, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/104 "2002-09-22T23:19:26Z")
> [@](#): > > Nelson Mandel vs. Mother Teresa Ooh, Nelson all the way. He had all that prison time to buff up and practice repelling the amorous advances of his cellmates. > [@](#): > > “Eep! Ock! Ork! Aa-Aa! Eep! Ock! Ork Aa-Aa!” vs. “Manamana. Babeepbedeep. Manamana. Babeedeepbeep. Manamana. Babeebedeepdeebeedeepdeebeepdeebeep.” Well, “Eep” has a more gutteral Stone Age quality to it but I’d have to give the edge to “Manamana” as it rolls off the tongue easier and you can keep it up for quite a while. Fractals vs. Irrational Numbers ---
**Author:** ![New\_Improved\_Scott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f17d59/32.png) [@New\_Improved\_Scott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Improved_Scott)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2002, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/105 "2002-09-22T23:51:31Z")
Fractals, as they take a beating early on, but keep coming back just as strong as they were when the fight started, then the irrational numbers take a dive, thinking that’d be the way to win. (irrational, no?) **The A-Team vs the Mission Impossible crew?** ---
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/106 "2002-09-23T01:31:05Z")
The Mission Impossible Crew because, well their specialty is doing the impossible. Plus, the A-Team, despite firing off 100,000’s of rounds of ammo, and blowing up countless cars/trucks etc, never killed one of their enemies. Bleeding pacifists.😛 Snowmiser Vs. Heatmiser ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/107 "2002-09-23T01:42:46Z")
The Mission Impossible Crew. They are well financed and have an international span of operations **John Walsh and America’s Most Wanted vs Dr. Kimble, The Fugitive** ---
**Author:** ![New\_Improved\_Scott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f17d59/32.png) [@New\_Improved\_Scott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Improved_Scott)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/108 "2002-09-23T03:01:50Z")
**Snowmiser Vs. Heatmiser** Snowmiser, I’m Canadian, gotta give it the home field advantage. **John Walsh and America’s Most Wanted vs Dr. Kimble, The Fugitive** Dr. Kimble. He’s a doctor, while the people who watch AMW are trailer living white folk, or overly suspicious houswives looking for a bounty. Kimble wins based on brains. _ **Iggy Stardust vs Mr. Spock, fought in a crowd of little children** _ ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/109 "2002-09-24T17:06:47Z")
Who really wins in this fight? We all know its the children who suffer the most. (Spock wins with a nerve pinch:D ) **Emperor Palpatine vs The Anti-Christ** ---
**Author:** ![New\_Improved\_Scott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f17d59/32.png) [@New\_Improved\_Scott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Improved_Scott)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/110 "2002-09-24T22:22:59Z")
Emperor Palpatine vs The Anti-Christ: The Anti-Christ. Anti-christ whoops Palpatine’s beliefs in the force using paradox logic and science. Sans-faith, Palpatine palpatates, vicotry goes to Damian. **Tony Blair, British Prime Minister vs. Prince Charles** ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2002, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/111 "2002-09-25T02:46:38Z")
Hmmm, the One who Rules vs the One who Reigns. Charles is Heir to the Empire, and embodies the Apex of British Nobility. His presence inspires awe amongst his subjects. Tony is the one with the real political and military power. Its HIS word which launches the UK’s armed forces. Don’t know about Tony, but Charles has _actual military experience,_ which includes weaponry and hand-to-hand combat. Hand this one to Prince Charles. **Ultraman vs Godzilla** ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2002, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/112 "2002-09-27T05:12:57Z")
Okay…how 'bout: **Blue Thunder vs AirWolf** or **Pinhead (Hellraiser) vs Freddy Kruger** ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2002, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/113 "2002-09-27T20:15:24Z")
Lol Enola! You like this game eh? 😃 Pinhead, with his army of cenobites, and being able to create them from any twisted and unbelievable death would easily slaughter Freddy who works on his own and only in dreams… **A Ninja vs A Samurai?** ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ace_of_Swords)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/114 "2002-09-27T20:50:40Z")
Huh? In a fair fight? The Samurai, ninjas being mostly nighttime assasins… My challenge got eaten, but it was, who wins between: \*\*Nancy Drew and Encylopedia Brown Tag Team vs! One of the Hardy Boys and Velma\*\* ---
**Author:** ![New\_Improved\_Scott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f17d59/32.png) [@New\_Improved\_Scott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Improved_Scott)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2002, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/115 "2002-09-27T21:21:05Z")
Well, Nancy Drew comes out swinging, tossing claws around like she just “cracked the case” of why Joe Hardy didn’t ask her to the Prom. Joe is taking lefts, rights, he can barely move. Meanwhile, Velma walks over to Brown, hands him a quarter, and says “This is for expenses!” and drops him like a sack of rice. Velma then sneaks up to Nancy, and pantses her! The crowd in the Alamo-dome goes bananas. It’s turned into a strip your opponant match! They’re pulling hair, tearing clothes, swearing blue murder at each other. Nancy drop kicks Velma, who falls to the ground next to the bleeding and unconcious Joe Hardy. It doesn’t look good for the Velma/Hardy Team as Drew heads for the top rope, and Encylopedia is getting to his feet. But Wait! The music kicks in! Matt and Jeff Hardy with Lita race into the ring to help out their third bro, Joe! The boys try to slide into the ring, but the ref stops them. As Matt and Jeff distract the ref, Lita gets a chair, and whacks Encyclopedia into the corner, knocking Nancy down! The croed is eating it up. Lita then rolls Velma on top of Nancy, and the ref turns and starts to count 1-2-3!!! Joe Hardy and Velma win. Velma and Lita share an awkward hug! _whew_ **Roman Emperor Octavian** vs. **Pepin the short, first Carolingian King of the Franks**? ---
**Author:** ![New\_Improved\_Scott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f17d59/32.png) [@New\_Improved\_Scott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Improved_Scott)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2002, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/116 "2002-09-27T21:29:44Z")
Well, Nancy Drew comes out swinging, tossing claws around like she just “cracked the case” of why Joe Hardy didn’t ask her to the Prom. Joe is taking lefts, rights, he can barely move. Meanwhile, Velma walks over to Brown, hands him a quarter, and says “This is for expenses!” and drops him like a sack of rice. Velma then sneaks up to Nancy, and pantses her! The crowd in the Alamo-dome goes bananas. It’s turned into a strip your opponant match! They’re pulling hair, tearing clothes, swearing blue murder at each other. Nancy drop kicks Velma, who falls to the ground next to the bleeding and unconcious Joe Hardy. It doesn’t look good for the Velma/Hardy Team as Drew heads for the top rope, and Encylopedia is getting to his feet. But Wait! The music kicks in! Matt and Jeff Hardy with Lita race into the ring to help out their third bro, Joe! The boys try to slide into the ring, but the ref stops them. As Matt and Jeff distract the ref, Lita gets a chair, and whacks Encyclopedia into the corner, knocking Nancy down! The croed is eating it up. Lita then rolls Velma on top of Nancy, and the ref turns and starts to count 1-2-3!!! Joe Hardy and Velma win. Velma and Lita share an awkward hug! _whew_ **Roman Emperor Octavian** vs. **Pepin the short, first Carolingian King of the Franks**? ---
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2002, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/117 "2002-09-28T03:21:22Z")
**Ultraman vs. Godzilla** They both have a sort of _death/destruction_ ray, Godzilla’s is his breath, while Ultraman utilizes his by crossing his hands. But Ultraman also knows karate, so he uses the “Crane technique” on Godzille and it’s lights out for the big lizard. **Ninja vs Samuri** Ninjas can walk unsee nad unheard, polus they are trained in the use of nunchuks/throwing stars. Stealth wins out in this one. **Blue Thunder vs Airwolf** Despite the fatc that Airwolf is handicapped with both Jan-Michale Vincent **and** Earnest Borgnine, all Blue Thunder has going for it is stealth capabilty, while Airwolf has missles and super speed. Airwolf takes it. Andre The Giant vs. Mini Me ---
**Author:** ![Roadwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@Roadwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadwalker)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2002, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/118 "2002-09-28T23:08:46Z")
Mini Me is just a twerp, the Giant would sit on him. Dukes of Hazzard in the General Lee vs Bandit in his Pontiac ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2002, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/119 "2002-09-29T00:53:58Z")
> [@](#): > > **From the second page** > Bullwinkle is in constant battle with Boris and Natasha. > Evil, connyving Soviet spies ready to corrupt and destroy everything pure and good and right in the ol’ U.S. of A. :rolleyes: Boris and Natasha are from Pottsylvannia, not the Soviet Union. Well anyways, here’s my contribution to the thread: **Muhammad Ali in his prime or anti-lock breaks?** ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/120 "2002-09-29T01:38:04Z")
Anti-Lock brakes. Though with the heroic fight Muhammad would put up, in the end, _he’d_ be the one we all remembered as the victor. **MiG-28 vs F-19** (Movie and/or aviation buffs will get that one) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682.md?page=7)