# Game - Which would win in a fight? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2002, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682 "2002-09-02T16:08:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2002, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/121 "2002-09-29T02:22:45Z")
I’m gonna skip back to **Roadwalker** ’s match-up and vote for the Duke boys – there were two of them, plus Daisy would stop Burt in his drooling tracks far longer than Sally Fields would distract either of the Dukes. back to MiG-28/F-19… ---
**Author:** ![Lab2490](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Lab2490](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lab2490)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2002, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/122 "2002-09-29T02:57:38Z")
ever seen fight club?who would win in a fight between… Ghandi and Edward Norton ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2002, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/123 "2002-09-29T18:58:49Z")
Ghandi. Ed would of course immediately kicking the shit out of him, and the Mahatma would just stand there and take it. after 5 minuites of bloodying his knuckes, Ghandi would simply say, “I forgive you, my son.” At which point Norton would drop to his knees and weep with guilt in front of such a fine example of Humanity. Yeah, right. DAMN STRAIGHT I love this game! Imperial Star Destroyer vs Argo/Yamato (Star Blazers) ---
**Author:** ![MrAndrewV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@MrAndrewV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAndrewV)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/124 "2002-09-29T21:34:37Z")
Star Blazers. EVeryone knows that even a super star destroyer can be taken out by a simple kamikaze strike to the control room. Brett Easton Ellis VS Ernest Hemingway ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2002, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/125 "2002-09-29T23:03:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ace0Spades \* > \*\*Huh? In a fair fight? The Samurai, ninjas being mostly nighttime assasins… > \*\* A fair fight? Eh? have any of these rest of these senarios been “fair”? 😉 Besides, who said anything about night? I’m sure if pushed to fight for their lives, Ninja’s might be pressed to get out of bed! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![New\_Improved\_Scott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f17d59/32.png) [@New\_Improved\_Scott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Improved_Scott)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2002, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/126 "2002-09-29T23:20:22Z")
**MiG-28 vs F-19?** The F-19, there’s nothing that 2 people in the cockpit can’t do. Te MiG’s are fast and agile, but a co pilot is an extra brain, and that is sweet. \*\*Brett Easton Ellis VS Ernest Hemingway? \*\* Ernie plays nice and buys Brett drink after drink until he’s pished, then hits Brett with an empty over the head, Ernie wins! **Roman Emperor Octavian vs. Pepin the short, first Carolingian King of the Franks?** ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2002, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/127 "2002-09-30T02:30:34Z")
**Octavian** , 'cause short people got no reason to live. 😃 [Michael Meyers vs. Jason Voorhees](http://www.crossoveruniverse.com/vs40.htm) (a link to people more obsessed about this stuff than we are. 🙂 They’ve even done a few we’ve mentioned, such as [Ripley vs. Sarah Connor](http://www.crossoveruniverse.com/vs11.htm) and [Indiana Jones vs. Han Solo](http://www.crossoveruniverse.com/vs6.htm)) ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/128 "2002-10-01T15:41:42Z")
Yep, those links say it all. **Circumcision vs Root Canal** ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ace_of_Swords)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/129 "2002-10-01T16:04:29Z")
Circumcision gets all the pre-bout attention with the “I’m gonna eat your foreskin!” but Root Canal knocks out Circumcision easily in the third round with superior pain, expense, bleeding, lasting power and the patented tooth grind grimace! Circumcision doesn’t remember the bout at all, and in the later years, claims everyone should fight **Root Canal!** On to the Title Card!! **Ray Raymano armed with The Power of Scrubbing Bubbles!** vs. **Danny Tanner armed with The Power of Selsun Blue!** ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/130 "2002-10-01T18:15:12Z")
Danny Tanner couldn’t survive Raymond’s endless whining. **Lemmy of Motorhead vs Rob Zombie** ---
**Author:** ![New\_Improved\_Scott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f17d59/32.png) [@New\_Improved\_Scott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Improved_Scott)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/131 "2002-10-01T22:25:07Z")
Rob Zombie wears lots of make up to look as tough as Lemmy does naturally. Lemmy in five. **A Doberman vs. George Bush Jr, circa 1982** ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/132 "2002-10-02T01:45:39Z")
Junior. Shit…I successfully fought off a doberman myself. Imagine what a drunk/stoned gun-crazy Texan could do. Perry Mason vs Matlock ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/133 "2002-10-02T17:09:09Z")
Matlock, because that “I’m just a dumb ol’ country lawyer” schtick of his makes his judicial opponents underestimate him every time. Plus, he’s not Hamilton Berger, who was always Perry Mason’s bitch. **John Walker Lindh vs. Benedict Arnold** ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2002, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/134 "2002-10-03T00:42:38Z")
Benedict Arnold. He managed to get away and live the rest of his days in England. We GOT Lindh’s ass nailed to the wall. **Lorena Bobbitt vs O.J. Simpson** ---
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2002, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/135 "2002-10-03T02:16:34Z")
O. J. ‘cause he killed two people and semi-got away with it, while Loreena’s ex got his dick reattached and starred in a porno and Loreena got nuthin’. Charles Nelson Reilly vs. Paul Lynde ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2002, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/136 "2002-10-03T03:38:13Z")
Ahh, two celebrities best known for their respective regular positions on game shows. Only Paul Lynde was deemed exemplary enough to be appointed “Center Square” on the Hollywood Squares. Oh, Yeah, he was the voice of the rat in “Charlotte’s Web”. **Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson-Lethal Weapon) vs John McClane(Bruce Willis-Die Hard)** ---
**Author:** ![New\_Improved\_Scott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f17d59/32.png) [@New\_Improved\_Scott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Improved_Scott)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2002, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/137 "2002-10-03T06:05:00Z")
John McClane, his wife was divorcing him, and he ended up a boozin brawler. Riggs’ wife died, and then he gave up the booze. Clean and sober can’t stand up to a po’ed drunken New Yorker upset at having _another_ holiday ruined. **Buffy the Vampire Slayer vs Xena, the Warrior Princess** ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/138 "2002-10-04T20:25:19Z")
OHH, GOOD ONE! Both are experts in hand-to-hand combat with demons, but only Xena has the boomerang/frizbee thingy, and can go toe to toe with Greco-Roman GODS. Xena in 5 rounds. Carrot Top vs Gallagher ---
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/139 "2002-10-05T01:29:13Z")
Carrot Top keeps pulling out his stupid gadgets, but it ends **really** quickly when Gallager brings out the sledgehammer, and instead of smashed watermelon, we get smashed Carrot Top. Woodstock vs. Altamont ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682/140 "2002-10-05T07:25:09Z")
Woodstock. 3days of love and music is better than getting beaten to death by the Hells Angels. Tokyo Rose vs Yoko Ono [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/game-which-would-win-in-a-fight/126682.md?page=8)