# Garden Club names needed
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [June 7, 2002, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846 "2002-06-07T15:08:30Z")
**Posts on this page:** 14
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2002, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/1 "2002-06-07T15:08:30Z")
So my wife and her partner in crime are planning on forming a garden club. The hoity-toity traditional clubs have waiting lists. They want to form an alternative Scrappy Doo of garden clubs. (I assume it is just an excuse for them to get together and drink in each others’ back yards.) But they need a name.
These are off the top of my head:
\*\*The Garden Hoes
Dirty Nails
Dig it!
No pansies allowed!
Daze of wine and roses
The Weed Eaters\*\*
My better half was underwhelmed. I figgered you folk could do much better.
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### Author:  [@odd-socks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/odd-socks)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2002, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/2 "2002-06-07T17:53:10Z")
heh, I don’t think it’s much better, but how about:
Dandelion Divas?
Mulch Mistresses?
Cutting Crew? (probably been done before - hairdressers if I recall)
W.G.W [What Grows Where?]
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### Author:  [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/3 "2002-06-07T18:14:37Z")
To steal from **Cervaise** :
Wankers without Borders
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### Author:  [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2002, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/4 "2002-06-07T23:26:26Z")
Crap. The first one to pop into my head is the first one on your list.
Come on. How can you have a women’s garden group and _NOT_ somehow work in the word “hoe”???
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### Author:  [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2002, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/5 "2002-06-07T23:58:52Z")
_Violet_ Femmes
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### Author:  [@dinahmoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dinahmoe)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/6 "2002-06-08T01:51:52Z")
Hoes with Hoses. Oh wait, that would be a different kind of garden club. A very different kind. I don’t even think they would have a garden.
I’m trying to make a clever “green thumb” reference, but I keep coming up with lame booger jokes.
I really do have a lovely garden, though. Really.
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### Author:  [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/7 "2002-06-08T03:59:09Z")
Are they looking for some kind of cutesy name like “The Rose Buds” or what?
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### Author:  [@Bullwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullwinkle)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/8 "2002-06-08T06:21:40Z")
The Compost Office
Mulch ado about Nutmeg
The Pistil Packers
The Pollen Eight (limited membership)
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### Author:  [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/9 "2002-06-08T07:57:14Z")
“The High Times Horticultural and Sharpshooting Society”
I bet the local law enforcement types would get a kick out of that one. 😉
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### Author:  [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)
#### Post date: [June 8, 2002, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/10 "2002-06-08T08:18:56Z")
Nice one, **heresiarch**! That’s my favorite so far.
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### Author:  [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)
#### Post date: [June 9, 2002, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/11 "2002-06-09T02:19:31Z")
Well???
Did she go with my brilliant suggestion, or what???
Don’t leave us hanging, man!
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### Author:  [@DeathLlama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeathLlama)
#### Post date: [June 9, 2002, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/12 "2002-06-09T04:19:23Z")
How about the Flowering Pears of Death (Flowering Bitches of Death works well, too I think)
or maybe The Death Pansies
perhaps The Maidenhairs of Death
you could even go with something like Impatient Death
ooh, ooh, I know. How about…the Poisonous Begonia Society From Which Death Comes
that would be a GREAT name.
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### Author:  [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)
#### Post date: [June 9, 2002, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/13 "2002-06-09T08:26:35Z")
Dorothy Parker was once playing a word game where you had to use the word given in a sentance. She was given “horticulture” and came up with:
“You can lead a horticulture, but you cannot make her think.” I submit something along those lines.
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### Author:  [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)
#### Post date: [June 9, 2002, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-club-names-needed/112846/14 "2002-06-09T12:58:13Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles \*
> \*\*Dorothy Parker was once playing a word game where you had to use the word given in a sentance. She was given “horticulture” and came up with:
> “You can lead a horticulture, but you cannot make her think.” I submit something along those lines. \*\*
The Cultured Hortis.
😃