# Garden Gnomes **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 24, 2008, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302 "2008-11-24T18:55:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/181 "2008-12-05T19:47:50Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > Eww, I definitely don’t want to see what happens if a leprechaun blows a gnome! > > Or visa versa. > > ETA: If a leprechaun has his way with a unwilling yard gnome, would that be statutory rape? Gnecrophilia I imagine ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/182 "2008-12-05T19:49:22Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > What _is_ this? Has this thread been in the Pit the whole time or did some moderator (who will be punished) just move it here? How did I not notice this thread? > > ::glares suspiciously at all this silliness:: Perhaps you were gnot paying attention ---
**Author:** ![SpinyNorma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@SpinyNorma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinyNorma)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2008, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/183 "2008-12-06T01:34:58Z")
> [@Klytus](#): > > Have you gnomercy? There is no mercy in Gnome Man’s Land. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2008, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/184 "2008-12-07T04:44:14Z")
Hey **chowder**! Maybe you’d better be more wary around those gnomonic critters. Turns out they can be [very very dangerous](http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/12/06/funny-pictures-put-up-a-good-fight/). ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2008, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/185 "2008-12-07T12:49:08Z")
[Here they are, seen immediately after that savage onslaught on a group of innocent flamingoes.](http://current.newsweek.com/budgettravel/rude%20gnomes.jpg) Drunken gnomes - you can’t take them anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2008, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/186 "2008-12-07T13:10:41Z")
> [@Jaglavak](#): > > Credits: [Dave Barry’s Christmas List](http://www.miamiherald.com/dave_barry/gift-guide/story/782141.html) I got as far as the description of the restroom baby-hangar and just lost it. Best laugh I’ve had in a long time. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/187 "2008-12-07T18:03:24Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > [Here they are, seen immediately after that savage onslaught on a group of innocent flamingoes.](http://current.newsweek.com/budgettravel/rude%20gnomes.jpg) > > Drunken gnomes - you can’t take them anywhere. They’re not drunk, just doing a bit of harmless mooning ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2008, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/188 "2008-12-08T05:52:58Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > [Here they are, seen immediately after that savage onslaught on a group of innocent flamingoes.](http://current.newsweek.com/budgettravel/rude%20gnomes.jpg) > > Drunken gnomes - you can’t take them anywhere. And here are the poor [flamingos](http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/12/06/funny-pictures-put-up-a-good-fight/). ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/189 "2008-12-09T06:07:30Z")
> [@SpinyNorma](#): > > There is no mercy in Gnome Man’s Land. [Quoted for truth] ([http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnD3iaZ5tSA](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnD3iaZ5tSA)). ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/190 "2008-12-09T08:33:53Z")
D’oh ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/191 "2008-12-09T10:47:00Z")
report them to Gnomeland security. ---
**Author:** ![SpinyNorma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@SpinyNorma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinyNorma)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/192 "2008-12-09T11:00:54Z")
> [@TwistofFate](#): > > report them to Gnomeland security. Dammit. Now we’ll have to go on the run and lead a gnomatic existence. Is this really the price we have to pay for having a troll sense of humor? ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/193 "2008-12-09T17:16:34Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > ETA: If a leprechaun has his way with a unwilling yard gnome, would that be statutory rape? Did you mean \*statuary \*rape? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/194 "2008-12-09T18:24:24Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > What _is_ this? Has this thread been in the Pit the whole time or did some moderator (who will be punished) just move it here? How did I not notice this thread? > > ::glares suspiciously at all this silliness:: You must be One of Them. I doubt you have a long articulated neck or are very tall. Do you have facial hair and carry a spade everywhere? Are you partial to soft caps with tassels? Long neck pipes and blowing smoke rings? I think you’re an undercover gnome. :dubious: **Chowder** : perhaps the angels are there to remind the gnomes that there’s no place like gnome. Or maybe your neighbor doesn’t believe in Jesus, but worships Hobbit kin… ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/195 "2008-12-09T19:01:04Z")
[There’s only one way to deal with this problem…show gno mercy!](http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ekEyYQKEpBo) ---
**Author:** ![Dervish\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Dervish\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervish_Jones)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/196 "2008-12-09T19:42:15Z")
Did someone say [Gnome nativity?](http://everylittlething.typepad.com/photos/miniatures_in_action/gnome_nativity_003.html) ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/197 "2008-12-09T22:38:50Z")
I really, really wish I knew how to post links. This far all my attempts to do so have resulted in abysmal failure ::smack:: ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/198 "2008-12-10T03:45:14Z")
Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like gnome. Alaska, that is. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/199 "2008-12-10T10:18:31Z")
> [@Dervish\_Jones](#): > > Did someone say [Gnome nativity?](http://everylittlething.typepad.com/photos/miniatures_in_action/gnome_nativity_003.html) it’s Gnativity. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/200 "2008-12-10T15:28:44Z")
> [@chowder](#): > > I really, really wish I knew how to post links. > > This far all my attempts to do so have resulted in abysmal failure ::smack:: A gnegative response to my hearfelt plea for help I gnotice [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302.md?page=11)