# Garden Gnomes **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 24, 2008, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302 "2008-11-24T18:55:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/61 "2008-11-25T15:41:25Z")
> [@Washoe](#): > > I used to have an Hispanic laborer one that was taking a siesta (not kidding). Came with the house, don’t know it’s history. I now seriously regret not snapping a pic of the little monstrosity before taking the sledgehammer to it. My neighbour has 2 gnomes taking a nap. One in a hammock and the other in a lawn chair. The one I mentioned upthread (36" tall) was actually left by the ex-owners of the house. It’s made of concrete and must weigh a bloody ton, which is possibly why they left it behind. My guess is: Because they left that bugger behind this triggered a sort of hive mentality in my new neighbour which prompted him to start adding more and more and more fucking gnomes ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/62 "2008-11-25T16:00:23Z")
Maybe he’s addicted to Poe? He’s trying hide the mutant garden gnome with the growth disorder by camouflaging him amongst all the other gnomes. I don’t think they’re jack boots, surely they’re Wellies? Has Neighbor given them names yet? That’s when I’d worry… ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/63 "2008-11-25T17:00:07Z")
Apart from mummy and daddy Christmas the only one with a name is the 36" rascal. He’s called “Oscar” but my neighbour didn’t name him, the name was already on a small brass plate at the foot of said rascal. They are definitely jackboots, wellies are usually turned over at the top. I’ve had a closer look but can’t find any swastika armbands ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/64 "2008-11-25T17:22:16Z")
> [@chowder](#): > > I’ve had a closer look but can’t find any swastika armbands Perhaps you should add some! ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/65 "2008-11-25T17:26:10Z")
Now _that_ is a bloody good idea. Maybe some tiny Iron Crosses huh? ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/66 "2008-11-25T17:32:01Z")
> [@chowder](#): > > He’s called “Oscar” but my neighbour didn’t name him, the name was already on a small brass plate at the foot of said rascal. That’s just got to be some kind of pet memorial…what does “Oscar” look like (besides the jackboots)? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/67 "2008-11-25T17:37:22Z")
> [@chowder](#): > > Now _that_ is a bloody good idea. > > Maybe some tiny Iron Crosses huh? Ooh! Can you find some toy pointy helmets and put them on the gnaziomes? I also think you need a smallish Snow White figurine. Place her lying down and group gnomes around her. It will add an interesting subtext to the 3rd Reich theme. I hope that now when you look out the window, you see potential creativity and not just tacky as shit stuff. Also, can you take pics and post them of said gnomes? That would help me with my tableaux. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/68 "2008-11-25T17:38:08Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > That’s just got to be some kind of pet memorial…what does “Oscar” look like (besides the jackboots)? He’s dressed as gnomes usually dress, red, green and black attire and he’s leaning on a shovel while smoking a pipe Lazy bastard ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/69 "2008-11-25T19:51:48Z")
> [@chowder](#): > > He’s dressed as gnomes usually dress, red, green and black attire and he’s leaning on a shovel while smoking a pipe > > Lazy bastard He’s work to rule, obviously… ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/70 "2008-11-25T19:52:45Z")
Or on strike as per the norm for British workgnomes ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/71 "2008-11-25T19:55:29Z")
> [@chowder](#): > > Or on strike as per the norm for British workgnomes It is to laugh. You Limeys have the quaintest “strikes”. One line of the Tube will stop or slow down for about 3 hours and everyone is up in arms. Can you tip Oscar over (sort of like cow tipping?). ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/72 "2008-11-25T19:59:01Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Can you tip Oscar over (sort of like cow tipping?). I told you, he’s 36" tall and weighs a ton, plus I strongly suspect he’s cemented into the middle of my neighbours lawn. There is a block of stone about 18" square on which Oscar stands, master of all he surveys ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/73 "2008-11-25T20:11:08Z")
> [@chowder](#): > > There is a block of stone about 18" square on which Oscar stands, master of all he surveys Ah, the plinth of dorkness. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/74 "2008-11-25T20:56:42Z")
I think we’re heading into gnome-mans land with some of these puns. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/75 "2008-11-25T21:05:39Z")
It’s a bad hobbit, that’s fer sure. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/76 "2008-11-25T21:17:47Z")
> [@wring](#): > > It’s a bad hobbit, that’s fer sure. Well of course we have to share, didn’t your mother tell you not to be elfish? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/77 "2008-11-25T21:24:54Z")
I know it’s not fairy nice to be elfish ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/78 "2008-11-25T21:27:03Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > Well of course we have to share, didn’t your mother tell you not to be elfish? Fae shame, **SmartAleq** , fae shame. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/79 "2008-11-25T21:32:16Z")
> [@chowder](#): > > I told you, he’s 36" tall and weighs a ton, plus I strongly suspect he’s cemented into the middle of my neighbours lawn. > > There is a block of stone about 18" square on which Oscar stands, master of all he surveys Something or someone is buried under that. No one puts that much effort into a gnome statue unless it’s covering up a heinous crime. Show him gnome mercy and his legal troubles will dwarf his yard art proclivities. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2008, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302/80 "2008-11-25T22:09:25Z")
Gnome good will come of it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/garden-gnomes/474302.md?page=5)