# Gargoyle kills woman in Chicago **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 6, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675 "2014-09-06T18:09:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/1 "2014-09-06T18:09:18Z")
[Link](http://news.yahoo.com/chicago-church-laments-falling-gargoyle-kills-woman-184400612.html). > [@](#): > > Sara Bean, 34, was killed on Thursday while walking to lunch with her fiancé, who is her longtime boyfriend and father of her children, local media reported. Why am I thinking of Ellison’s _Bleeding Stones_? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/2 "2014-09-06T18:19:12Z")
Oops. Typo in title. Reported for correction. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/3 "2014-09-06T18:19:35Z")
Don’t blink… ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/4 "2014-09-06T18:30:05Z")
church gargoyle. she was chosen. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/5 "2014-09-06T18:36:05Z")
Goliath has a lot to answer for. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/6 "2014-09-06T18:50:19Z")
That’s the problem with fighting gargoyles. You have to kill both simultaneously, or else one will merely resurrect the other. (Very obscure FF reference.) ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/7 "2014-09-06T18:53:32Z")
I believe it requires a magic weapon to hit them… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/8 "2014-09-06T19:08:19Z")
Good thing it wasn’t one of those Scottish ones. You know–the Argyll gargoyles. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/9 "2014-09-06T19:22:29Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Good thing it wasn’t one of those Scottish ones. You know–the Argyll gargoyles. The ones the gargle Gershwin are especially bad. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/10 "2014-09-06T19:29:27Z")
You can’t stop gargoyles by chopping off their heads. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/11 "2014-09-06T19:33:20Z")
I’m sorry for the woman’s fiancé, but what does he say on a future date? “What happened to your children’s mother?” “Oh, she was killed by a gargoyle.” I’ll be climbing into my handbasket now. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/12 "2014-09-06T23:11:20Z")
I’d read about this yesterday, and saw it on a news program. The church building is old and has had maintenance issues in the past. I’m thinking there will be a civil suit in the works. My own congregation spent a lot to have the outside stonework cleaned and fixed. Some members hadn’t been so sure it was needed, then the rector showed us a fist sized piece of stone that had fallen from the outside. It was just lucky that nobody was under it, like that poor woman in Chicago. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/13 "2014-09-06T23:25:05Z")
Anyone else think of _Tales from the Darkside: The Movie_? ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/14 "2014-09-06T23:31:14Z")
See, there was a _reason_ for that commandment about not making graven images. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/15 "2014-09-06T23:35:44Z")
Well, gargoyles have 4 attacks, I’m not surprised that one would overpower a couple of NPCs in a single surprise round. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/16 "2014-09-06T23:39:21Z")
I feel so bad for her family, but it’s sort of a cool way to go. I wouldn’t mind being killed by a gargoyle. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/17 "2014-09-06T23:41:42Z")
Remember, man, that sandstone is sand and unto sand it shalt return. The buildings in Chicago made of that yellow sandstone have been rotting away since they were built. It was probably a grotesque and they just don’t know the difference. Heathens. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2014, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/18 "2014-09-06T23:48:35Z")
See? That’s what happens when you fall in love with a gargoyle. You get smitten. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2014, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/19 "2014-09-07T00:14:07Z")
Johnny Quest was my first thought here. Then, … Don’t blink ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2014, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675/20 "2014-09-07T00:17:17Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > See, there was a _reason_ for that commandment about not making graven images. You win the thread. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gargoyle-kills-woman-in-chicago/697675.md?page=2)